Need to vent
So.. my SO tells me the other day that skids (twin girls 12yo) told him months ago that they don't want him to be with anyone, they just want him on his own. This, I already knew, but somehow hearing that made me really cut up. This explains a lot of their behaviour - ignoring me, ignoring my Bio daughter (21 months) and just being anti-social when they are here. He didn't want to tell me before because he didn't want me to "hold it against them"
Has anyone else had skids say that???? I also grew up having a step mother, but I would never have been so selfish or disrespectful to my dad as to say something like this.
Anyway, this weekend is Greek Easter and we are all going to SO's mums for lunch. I'm feeling really anxious about going (because of skids). They're good at making me feel anxious or intimidated.. sounds dumb, I know 
I think because I'm only 25 and they're 13 soon. I almost feel too young to deal with it, or maybe I don't know how..
I don't think you sound
I don't think you sound stupid at all. You are NOT too young to deal with this. You have a 21 month old daughter who you can show off and leave the room (if things get too intense) because she needs you. Steps can and will say horrible things. "I hate you, you're not my mom!" we usually expect when they're in middle school or high school but sometimes (in my skids case) it comes earlier- especially if there is trauma. Twins? forget about it. Double trouble. They will be a pain in the ass if they want and it sounds like they want! Get your partner on board for sure. If he's allowing this to happen, he's to blame. Good luck!
thanks god, melissa, that is
thanks god, melissa, that is great that your hubby changed!!!
It is very common for
It is very common for daughters of divorce to compete with the new woman for dad's affection. Don't take it personally. They would do it to anyone he is with, it has nothing to do with you. Focus on your baby and having fun, and ignore the crap.
they seem to team up against
they seem to team up against you, that must be hard.But I agree with mykidsmum, its not you, it is the role you are playing in what they think is "their" house.You are a threat to those two mini-wifes.
Yep, mysd21 told me that, and
Yep, mysd21 told me that, and popped it into a memail, for added effect !!! Was she 12 ?? No..... Was she 16 ? No...... She was 19 !!! By then, I was already two steps ahead of her and her nasty plans..... so I was done and dusted as they say..... As she was growing up with a disinterested BM, my DH and I were there for her for EVERYTHING !! I disengaged, DH suffers from Guilty Dad syndrome, but he copes in his own way......
Your DH needs to deal with
Your DH needs to deal with this head on as another poster said, because although you will be able to disengage as an adult, your daughter will be vulnerable to them in future times and the notion of a scissors action against her by twin sisters is truly worrying. So, I would suggest that not only should he deal with comments directly as SMMelissa found successful, but also if they want alone time with him then he can build that into a limited period just the way any teen child might with a parent, eg one date per month going to a movie with him or whatever. That provides for some time away from the younger child, which older children do find hard to share a parent with. Then if he sees them showing ingratitude for that or trying to push it, it gives him the impetus to confront them about it because he sees for himself the bad attitude rather than getting it second hand through you.
But don't just disengage and leave him to do his own thing. He has to take the responsibility.
Enjoy your lovely daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is free of this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, the hubby has to be the
Yep, the hubby has to be the one to nip this in the bud. The next time they say that, he needs to get in their faces and make it VERY clear that you aren't going anywhere.