Was I out of line?
My bf did not have his kids Easter wknd, and my kids went to their dad's until 2 pm Easter day. So when they came back at 2 pm, I was ready to have Easter with them. We were all outside helping hide eggs for the neighbors and it was really pretty outside. Bf was laying on the couch watching a movie. I said, "You're missing everything, why are you in here watching a movie?" He replied, "You did the same thing last weekend."
LONG story short, he had his kids last weekend and took them to an egg hunt Sunday before he had to bring them back home. Well the egg hunt wasn't good enough for his girlies, so he went and bought eggs to hide and texted me 5 mins before arriving if they could come to our house to do their egg hunt. (He lives in apt. and my house was closer). Before I could even answer, he walked in the house. I was literally falling asleep because I had to get up at 5 am that morning for my daughter's dance competition and was completely wiped out. So he did the egg hunt with them and then took them home.
Okay, so back to Easter, it bothered me that he was laying on my couch. We were all walking in/out, past him, and finally I asked him to go watch the movie downstairs in my bedroom. He asked why and I just said, "I don't want my kids thinking that laying on the couch all day is what men/fathers do on Easter Sunday. If you don't want to 'do Easter' with us, don't do it right in our faces." He got mad, said that's what I did last weekend, blah blah blah. I said, "You wouldn't be laying there if your kids were here, would you? Did your dad lay on the couch Easter Sunday?" No to both.
My dad DID and I don't want my kids growing up thinking that is normal. I didn't even care that he did it, I just don't want it right there in our faces, taking up OUR couch, etc. I didn't want that image in my kids' brains (they are G9, B10). I didn't tell him he had to participate, or DO anything, except move his lounging to another part of the house, or to his apt. if he wanted. (Also, he slept in til noonish, so it's not like he could've been that tired, right?)
Was I wrong?
Absolutely not. That would
Absolutely not. That would have pissed me off.
He doesn't even live there. If he wasn't going to participate, he should have gone home. Do you think he was doing it on purpose because he was pissed that you didn't help with his kids last weekend?
Possibly, but he didn't bring
Possibly, but he didn't bring it up until yesterday. That's childish. He and his kids were at my house all day Saturday the weekend before. We watched the NCAA final together and then got in bed too late to get decent sleep for us to get up at 5 am. He and his kids were at his home, and did not have to get up early. We had no plans to even see them Sunday afternoon, as my kids had decided they wanted to wait until Easter to do an egg hunt. His kids HAVE a mom. I'm sorry that he has to do some things by himself with them, but I NEVER get a break!
No you were not out of line.
No you were not out of line. I mean you even asked him to take what he was doing somewhere else. I would have been plain rude and said get the hell out. You are right for doing what you did. These are your kids, and you determine how you want to raise them and what they should be around. He should be more active and actually participate in your kids' lives just as you probably do for his.
Why was BF there if you don't
Why was BF there if you don't live together??
I can "kinda" see his point. You slept while he "did Easter" with his kids. (But he was rude to just show up at your place!)
Since he already did Easter with his kids, he laid on the couch while you did Easter with yours.
You asked him if we would lay on the couch if his kids were there. Probably not. Would you have been in bed asleep the weekend before if your kids were there?
I think you both have a point here.
Now you're even. Try to move on.
Well if hes like this as a
Well if hes like this as a bf, what do you think he would be like when he is a husband?
I know! I've been a stepmom
I know! I've been a stepmom before, so I was VERY wary going into this. So I have decided not to marry or move in. WAY too many of those red flags we all know about. I want to protect my kids from drama and allow him to do the same. We have too many parenting differences and the funny thing is, he does not parent the way he said he did when we first met. He parents like he blames his exw for parenting! They both coddle them and baby them. They are unable to coparent, which just brings more drama than I am willing to be around. Once the kids are gone, things may be different, but there are MANY years before that will happen.
Bf was there because he
Bf was there because he stayed the night Sat. night.
The weekend before, I wasn't in bed. I was on the couch and kept falling asleep watching a movie. Or probably Law n Order, I don't remember. My kids were with me that weekend. They are 9 & 10 and don't require constant supervision at home.
Like I said above, he and his kids were at my house all day Saturday. He could've done Easter anytime that day. But that was not his plan, and then when his plans were a bust I guess I was supposed to fall in line at the last minute.
The problem is, we are not even. Because now he is sulking, not speaking to me, etc. If he thought we were even he wouldn't be behaving this way, I'm guessing.
Your house your rules.
Your house your rules.
wow, yeah i would have been
wow, yeah i would have been totally disappointed in him...is he the type that just doesnt like that kind of stuff?? i know thts no excuse though he should have been up playing along too esp seeing since he cares about you. I agree he should have went home if he wasnt going to play along ... the kids see that behavior and learn easily from it.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your comments. Sometimes I just wonder if it's me...but I guess not. I love this forum.