Need to vent about my partners' ex and mother to my step-daughter. I just don't understand the things she does or the choices she makes. No one is perfect but I am really starting to think she is just plain crazy. For starters I can bet money that she hit and yelled at my step daughter on a regular basis. The kid lashes out by hitting and yelling on a daily basis. If things aren't exactly the way she wants she has a total meltdown like she's two years' old!

The mother left the relationship for a man she met on-line that lived in the states. He was married and the relationship didn't last more than a few months. She constantly has new men in and out of her life...my stepdaughter meets then all. Mom and daughter have even slept over at the last boyfriend's house together.

Mother feeds the kid nothing but junk. Its usual that my step daughter does not even SEE a fruit or vegetable the entire weekend she spends with her mom. Thus..the kid is totally addicted to sugar and hates anything that I try to feed her that does not come over-processed from a can or box.

Mother lives like a 15 year old. Has parties at her house, smokes pot, wants to join a band (event though her singing voice sucks and she does not play any instrument at all) none of this is my business...but she is so damned irresponsible if affects our family life. She didn’t take care of her car (neglected regular oil changes) so now we are responsible for dropping of and picking up her kid for her visits. She NEVER pays child support on time. She NEVER buys anything for this kid or pays additional expenses that always come up (people with kids know how that is) the worst is when she constantly promises to take the kid places and never delivers. Last weekend they went to the CN Tower...OH but she didn’t have money to actually go into it...they just stood out front and looked at it. There were a ton of FREE family day activities to take the kid to last weekend...she didn’t. She seems to have money for smokes, booze, parties and friends but oh no not for her kid!!

She stole the kids ipod, locked it with a password and filled it with all her songs, which were inappropariate for a child of 8 yrs old.

She never attends any school meetings or concerts. She doesnt even know who the kids' teacher is and has never asked for a copy of a report card. She is totally uninterested in the kids extra-cirricular activities and has never shown up to any of the open house days at the pool.

Now she has an unemployed guy living with her in her one bedroom apartment and the building has had repeated cases of bed bugs that she never thought prudent to inform us about until I took the kid to a dermatologist for a serious rash (which was confirmed as bed bug bites!)

Her lovely parenting has created a selfish, bossy, aggressive, high maintenance and non-empathetic kid. Is it a case of monkey see, monkey do. My question to the forum is...could this woman have a mental condition that prevents her from being a decent parent, or is she just selfish and immature at the ripe old age of 36!!!

Can I really turn this kid around and teach her that respect, love and honesty is the best way to live? How do I combat 9 years of this woman's lack of parenting and seriously poor example?