Disengaging and the step gkids
I have been disengaging SD (36 yr old) for 2 months now and am starting to miss the step gkids. I think if I disengage from the sgkids too then I will cause more problems with DH. Not sure how i am going to handle this.... How can I disengage from SD and still celebrate sgkids birthdays, xmas and stuff. This is really weird although I feel a lot better since I stopped getting involved with SD and all the drama. DH still goes to visit SD a lot! He goes there for a short visit almost daily. So DH does get to see the gkids a lot. I am not sure how i feel about his daily visits. I mean I can't expect him to disengage too, she is his daughter but it makes me uncomfortable that this is not really effecting DH all that much. We had a big talk about my disengaging last weekend and I think he is ok with it for now as SD is probably happier that I am not involved. I think if she was complaining about it he would give me a hard time. Does that make sense. Feeling a bit confused and unsure. Give me strength to stay strong please.
Definitely a good suggestion.
Definitely a good suggestion. You could also tell DH that you're open to babysitting if SD needs adult time. Just draw the line if she starts to take advantage.
You think he is okay with
You think he is okay with your disengaging because Sd is happy with it, if she was complaining about it then he would give you a hard time. Once again SD is running the show. She is 36 he should be telling her she is a married almost middle aged woman and has her own life to live, he should ask her if she would like him to treat her husband the way she treats you, he should ask her if he didn't want to be around her husband would she be coming over to see him for daily visits. NO, she damn well would not. Why do these men allow their adult daughters especially ones who are wives and mothers in their own right to run their lives and to dictate how their marriage will work. He should be calling round just to pick up the kids to come for a visit at YOUR home, not aiding and abetting his daughter in isolating you. Sorry, but I am sick of this crap from adult women who think daddy should stil be wiping their behinds.
This whole situation just
This whole situation just makes me think of our own crap situation and it makes me too sad. Poor gskids and poor people who just want to be part of the gskids' lives.