Am I Worng With Wanting Some Attention From FDH?
So this week we had both FSD(7) and FSS(7). FDH's kids are supper needy. They cannot entertain themselves. It's always daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy when they're with us.
This weekend it was so bad that FDH ran himself ragged and passed out at 8:15 pm in order to please his kids. That's 15 minutes after the kids were put to bed. This of course pissed me off. He did get up two hours later and couldn't go back to sleep until after 1 am. I was already in bed, not asleep, but in bed by the time he got up. We ended up arguing about him passing out and he slept on the couch.
Sunday night rolls around and after we get the kids in bed he finally buys the plane tickets to fly to our wedding which is only three and a half months away. He then proceeds to freak out because he has never bought tickets online before and calls the company and is on the phone with them for like an hour. This of course pissed me off yet again. (I can understand his concerns, but why not do it the following day?) So I got a grand total of 45 minutes with FDH in two days. He's always complaining about how he spends more time with me then he does with his kids which I pointed out to him last night is a complete load of crap. His kids get more time with him on one weekend day then I do all week.
Why can't his kids be more independent. They are incapable of even letting FDH and I have a conversation without jumping in. Does anybody else have problems with this? We can't even step out into the garage to have a conversation without one or both of his kids knocking on the door repeatedly or just opening the door and interupting our conversation. I think I only got to sit by him once this weekend and that was last night when I got my 45 minutes of attention which wasn't even really attention. We sat next to each other while we watched a TV program.
This is one of the things that I dread when I know it's our week with the Skids. My BD(7) was never like this. Is this normal? Does anyone know why these kids do this if it's not normal?
I did tell him last night
I did tell him last night that he needs to find a balance between being daddy and being with me.
I don't know it seems wierd
I don't know it seems wierd to me. My SD13 is exactly how you described your skids. My bios were never like this ever!! With me or with my ex and their SM.
My DH was running around
My DH was running around after his needy grizzly kids non stop too,.,.... I think he was trying too hard....and maybe showing off on how good a father he is....as time has gone by I think he was desperate to shut them up....cos if they dont get their way they have learnt to grizzle louder and stomp their feet....
after a while he realised that he wasnt enjoying their company as much as he enjoyed mine...so we would sneak off together and visit a bar together....just to get away from them....damn them.....then wen we got back home I would relish in hidding in the bedroom watching tv....I didnt enjoy their company at all....after being in the bar...I needed a sleep anyway....
eventually the needy skids decided it wasnt any fun coming to dads anymore as he just hung with his bitch wife all the time....
perfect
I just don't understand how
I just don't understand how someone can raise kids to not be independent.
At our house if they don't get what they want immediately they will nag, nag, nag, and nag some more. My BD does do this some times but with his kids it's constant. FDH either does what why are nagging about (like when they want something to drink and he is in the middle of doing something and he just drops everything in order to get them to shutup), gives in (when they keep nagging and nagging about something that he has already said no to and he just gives it to them to get them to leave him alone), or stands his ground(which is usually the last option used).
It sounds like those two kids
It sounds like those two kids are allowed to wear him out completely that there is really neither time nor energy left for your relationship.
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This was exactly the way that I felt last night.
There's a lot of info that
There's a lot of info that you don't provide, like how often the kids get to see their dad. If they are "visiting" kids, then of course they want to spend all their time with Dad. Your time with him is during the week. THIS is the problem. He isn't spending his time with you like he spends his time with the kids. Don't make this about you vs them because you will never win. But if he isn't making time for you during the week, THAT is the issue. Also he is likely feeding the monster and making their neediness worse. You don't really say how he spent the day with the kids, so it's hard to tell. But for 7 yr olds who hardly see their dad, the behavior doesn't sound abnormal.
Custody is split 50/50. So we
Custody is split 50/50. So we have them every other week. I get home throughout the week about and hour and half before the kids go to bed. The weekends consist of him sitting with FSS in hhi chair, wrestling with the kids. Catering to almost everyone of their demands. He lets them push him to the point where he is so upset it ruins our evenings after we go to bed. By the time the weekend has rolled around the kids have been with us for 5 days already.
In the past week and a half we have had two evenings of actual quality time.
If the kids only see him
If the kids only see him every other weekend....I understand why he does what he does. I could not imagine, not being around my kids for several days, and then NOT being able to hand around them as much as I wanted to. I don't think this is a hill I would die on.
To answer the question of how
To answer the question of how often does FDH have is kids, FDH has 50/50 custody. We get them every other week for the entire week.