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Step kids all 3 of them lie constantly

Zodiac's picture

Submitted by Zodiac on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 4:04am

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Parenting Issues

:? Hi I'm new on here , so bare with me pleases , but the problem I have is my 3 step children that I've had for 3,1/2 years stepson 1 is now 11 yrs old , stepdaughter is 10 yrs old and step son 2 is now 6yrs old ,, but the problem I'm having is there constant lieing about everything and anything we don't know when they r telling the truth , and it's causeing problems between me and there dad.
the eldest stepson is the I think the worst for the lieing as its been directed at me were he'knows it could cause a whole load of trouble, he gets caught doing wrong by his dad & myself but will still lie demanding he wasn't doing wot we caught him doing lol, we have told all three of them that telling the truth won't get punished but lieing will get privileges removed but it ain't worked he lies about everything and I just can't cope anymore with them

I have got 3 kids of my own but are all grown up now as had them in my 20s they were easy to bring up I didn't have problems lie this I enjoyed being a mum but now I feel as tho I wanna divorce my hubby coz I can't cope with his kids

So any advice would b appreciated
Thanks. Zodiac xx

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 7:27am

WELCOME!! The whole thing depends on your DH. IF he is a classic guilty daddy he will hold to the mantra that his kids are INCAPABLE of lying no matter HOW ridiculous their stories are. I have one of those. If dad lets them get away with lying they'll soon turn it against YOU to divide and conquer.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 8:35am

Well, I am sure that they don't believe you when you tell them that they won't get in trouble if they tell the truth. My parents told me that too and its a crock, and I knew it then too. If ss tells the truth and admits that he (for example) hit his brother with a stick and pushed him in the mud....you aren't going to just say ok, thanks for telling the truth go run along and play, he's going to get punished.

The message to get across is that they will be in MORE trouble if they lie, not that they won't be in trouble at all if they tell the truth.
I hand down a consiquence/punishment for whatever they did.... And then a seperate and distinct punishment for lying to me. The lying is seperate offense to the misbehavior, so it needs to be dealt with seperately. They should quickly see that lying will only make things worse and get them in more trouble. But you have to nail them for it everytime, or they think that its still worth the gamble.

Dannee's picture

Submitted by Dannee on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 12:57pm

What I use in my home is that the kids know

The the truth out weighs the lie..

Meaning telling the truth reduces the punishment by 90%..

Do they really understand....I am not sure..

But just like others say....It all "lies" with your DH!