It doesn’t matter what the kids or their BM say or think. There’s a court order that says the kids have to visit. If they don’t want to come, call the police and have a deputy escort them to their dad’s car if they refuse to go.

There’s nothing their BM can say about where the kids sleep. My DH has full custody of his daughter and she slept on the sofa in the living room that entire time she lived with us.

She whined and complained about it and said she was going to report us for child neglect for not buying a big house so she could have her own room, but all I told her was tough luck. She was lucky to have a roof over her head and a place to sleep. The biggest problem I had with it was her messing up the living room and our nice sofa.

I wouldn't put the baby in w/anyone. Babies wake up and wake everyone up. I know they might not love the current situation, but what else can you do? If they were there more frequently, I could see trying to figure out something else (Though I'm not sure what), but since they aren't there that much, I think the way you have it is just fine. If BM doesn't like it, too bad.

My co states my ex is to have adequate sleeping arrangements for my bios the first place he lived was a 1 bedroom apt off his bff and her bf and her 3 kids my kids didn't stay the night wasn't gonna happen 3 boys 2 girls on the floor. Next place he got he ranted and raved had 3 bedrooms kids would have their own rooms he and his bff and her bf moved in and he tired to get bunk beds for a teenage girl and 10 yr old boy wasn't gonna happen child services would have a fit, and the kids were hurt he lied to them son was sent to the couch he then moved a woman and her kid in said her bd and mine would share the bedroom (only a converted closet room for 1 bed) kids had a fit son was kicked the the living room floor so the woman could have the couch (wasn't long she was in the ex's bed and tossed her kid back to her ex. I only bitched once about my son and daughter sharing a room. My son was resigned to the couch but by that point ex's lies and his priorities of rescuing his friends took its toll on bd and her dad they stpped speaking it took months to get them to a place of acceptance this is just how he is he and his ego come first. They both go and stay but lost all respect for him I make them go it's in the co and though I wish they really had their own rooms and beds there a couch would probably be seen as adequate by a judge and in your case so probably would and air mattress. I might not like it but its not worth fighting over ex won't care regardless if it doesn't benefit him.

I dont understand you.

Do you really think after your ex has to pay all the child support you demand, that he has money to accomodate each kid with their own room?

Get real huh? I see nothing wrong with siblings sharing a room. They dont share a bed!

Buy 2 folding beds. Put one in each bedroom. Put the baby in your room. Put DD in baby's room. Put SKs in DD's room.

It's such a shame for their precious asses! DH and I lived in a one room apartment when we first met and the kids came and bunked down on the floor just to be WITH us! Of course that was when everyone loved everyone and before the onset of puberty with them...LOL.
I'd make up a folding bed in the dining room for the boy, it can be put away during the day. If the girl cannot share with your daughter then she can use the baby's room and you have the baby's crib in your room just for that short duration. I think you might be putting too much emphasis on the baby having a room that is 'just for baby' when, in reality, babies will sleep anywhere they are laid down in comfort.
When I was growing up and family members came to visit the kids ALL slept on the floor while adults had the beds. I think I slept in a large drawer at my grandmother's house when I was a newborn!
I get that you, DH, your daughter and the baby are the perfect fit for your household. I also get that the SKids are DH's kids too and they have the right to come and visit. I would do all I could to accommodate them truthfully. Resentments can really grow if they do not feel welcomed and that's NOT a good atmosphere for your daughter and the baby...right?
I realize that times have changed, some fffy years later, and kids do need a space to call their own.
Our youngest two have moved out and I have already made plans for SD's room as a guest room, which if she comes to visit she, or her brother, can sleep in. SS's room is occupied by one of his friends who now lives with us and is a great kid.

I am NOT a fan of giving skids their own room when they do NOT live there, however, I find it wrong to give "guests" the COUCH to sleep on. We have a two bedroom apartment...when my mother or grandmother or even friends come to visit, our son sleeps with us and the "guests" get my son's room. In one occasion my nephew and girlfriend came and my husband/myself and our son slept in my son's bedroom and gave him and his girlfriend OUR bedroom.

There is a fine line between not having THEIR OWN ROOM in your house and being treated as if they were bothering you. I guess if your family ever came, you would also give them the couch to sleep on? I doubt it.

This is what I would do. Since they are only there a few times a year I would have a bed with a trundle or something to that effect or maybe a pull out couch or futon in the babys room and when they are there that is where they sleep and you ca move the baby either in your room or the dds room just while they are there. That is it!

The main reason I say this is b/c they are only there a few times a year not like it is even every other weekend or anything but a few times a year! You can't have an empty room 90% of time just doesn;t make sense.

Whenever I have shopped for houses in the past, I see the formal dining room as wasted space. If you are literally only using it for eating together as a family, turn it into a guest room. The boy can stay in there, the sd in baby's room, and the baby with you. Get a pack n play if you need to. Or if the siblings get along, put them in dining room together and make it a teen hang out. You could even get a room divider for them to give them their own space. When you have more kids than house, you have to make adjustments, like not all eating at a table that fits and wasting a room to hold that table. Get a folding table you can set up for meals in the living room. Or have a picnic on the living room floor.

I agree that the bm is out of line making demands. But you do need to make the skids feel at home, not because of the demands, but because it's the right thing to do.

Coming from the perspective of a step-child. I only visited my father in the summer for 2 months, but he always had a room ready for me. It was nice to have my own space and it made me feel like it was home and not just a house I visited. My dad and step-mom had a small 3-bedroom house but they didn't have any other kids, so it was a lot easier for them.

I would have your husband talk with them and let them know he understands how they feel, but space is limited. And if they are allowed input they might feel better about the situation. I don't mean they dictate their needs and you move mountains to make it happen, but just discuss creative ways to help them feel more at home. Give them options, if they pick something they feel like they had a choice.

I also like the idea of moving the baby to your room, or a smaller space. SS might prefer to sleep on the couch as opposed to with his sister. Do you have a space under the stairs or something cool like that? Maybe a garage that could be made into a cool space with limited funds. Don't know the climate in your area.

Just stuff like that. Let them know you care and that you want to find a solution that works for the whole family. If they are strong-willed you may have to present the idea and let them chew on it before they are willing to work with you.

Is there an update to what you decided to do??

We have this issue as well. We live in a 3br house and my BD14 has her own room, then BD5 and BD2 share. When skid comes over, there isn't any place for her. I already have two kids crammed in to ONE small room. We make a pallet on the floor and treat it like a "slumber party" but there isn't anything else we can do. BM pissed and moaned and cried because skid doesn't have her own room in our house. WTF? Is she going to pay to build on a "pain-in-my-ass" suite for the kid? We make the best of the situation and do what we can, but there are certain things we just aren't going to do. BM actually suggested that we move BD5 in with BD14, put BD2 in our room and give her skid a room. DH told her she was nuts and that wasn't happening and skid just has to accept that this isn't her home (sorry, I just don't do the whole 'this is skid's home too' thing) and it isn't all about her. It would be no different if BD5 had a slumber party - everyone would have to camp out on the floor for the night. No big deal. Not at all going to shuffle my kids around and disrupt their lives to suit SD, BM or anyone else!

My SD sleeps on the couch for 8 weeks in the summer @ her mom's. Unless it is specifically addressed in the court order, tell mom to go scratch. The court will not cancel visitation because she or the kids dislike the sleeping arrangements.

I would put the baby in your room, the SD and BD together and the SS in the nursery. That way you don't have to worry about gender issues.

I would give your daughter a room, and your baby a room. I would put futons in both of their rooms and when dh's kids visit-they can sleep on the futons in their half/stepsiblings rooms. It doesnt make sense for you to put the two full time kids together in one room, while another room sits empty for most of the time. I wouldnt care if the kids liked this arrangement or not-you cant just go out and buy a new house for them, and your children will also be sharing-its fair to everyone-they all have to share-they all have someplace to sleep, and only same sex kids are sharing a room-so in my opinion it is ideal. I realize the age spans are not ideal-but I would think this would cut down on fighting-hopefully a 12 year old boy is not going to argue with a toddler, nor should a 16 year old girl be arguing with an 8 year old. How immature.

My mom and sdad have 5 kids between them. We were all weekend kids. They had a 2 bedroom house- one room was theirs the other was sdad's office. 3 of us were every weekend, 2 were eowe. They build a loft and my mom built cots out of foam, plywood and 2x4. I slept on those for 5 years. We each had a small area in the loft that was hands off

The first night of their stay I would call a family meeting. Ask for workable suggestions let everyone have input. Then call a movie night in the family room and everyone grab a sleeping bag and campout on the floor.

To rid the suitcase issue. Look for the 3 drawer storage units see if they can use those while there for their clothes.

Make them part of the solution kids come up with the best ideas