My household is once again in upheaval. SD, 15, moved back in last night after flip flopping households (by her choice) again. She has done this no less than five times in the past year, and every time she does it she determines she will have no visitation at the other home. The last time she flipped from mom's house to her sister's, thinking she would get lots more freedom, but sis asked us to take her back after social services stepped in and SD refused to behave.

Let's see. Where to begin. SD can be sweet and kind and good; but only if she decides to, and usually only to get something, when the treatment is aimed at parental types. She lived with mom from the time dad moved out and it was pulling teeth for dad to see her. Then she moved in with mom, citing mom's alcohol problem as the reason she was leaving. The alcohol issue is both real and fake; BM has a definite ongoing problem (she has in fact driven SD drunk from school, and has in fact passed out at volleyball games, and has in fact been hospitalized for drunkenness; she even has a Dui she is fighting right now and is on probation). HOwever, SD would say "mom is drunk" anytime I was with her dad, and that was just not true. Dad even found out that mom was not drunk some of those times, yet still "rescued" SD. FInally SD moved in with him after the mom passed out at volleyball incident.

SO things were ok for a bit. SD liked me and I liked her. But as time wore on she was jealous of ANY time her dad and I had alone and in fact would whine about it. They moved in with me and my kids and at first she liked that since my kids were buddies wiht her. Then she got busted smoking dope in my house and all hell broke loose. Since then it has been a battle; she has moved out to mom's, then to sis's, then to mom's, then to sis's, and now back to us under protest. She has begged her dad to move out "just me and you dad" and even though I am now pregnant wiht his child and married to him, SD insists that I am not his family and nor is the baby.

SD has beat up my sixteen year old (who told on her for smoking weed in the house). She has threatened me. She has says she hates the baby and I fear she will harm it. TO move back in she had to sign a lengthy contract with consequencse like she will go to detention if she threatens us, etc. However, already I notice her doing her same "daddddyyyy" shit. She calls him in for "private talks" in her room and asks for back rubs. She wants him adn only him (not her friends, not her twenty one year old sister) to go shopping for a dress for a dance with her and I am "not allowed to go." She insists taht I cannot attend any of her functions, which would normally be fine but her volleyball tournaments take up full weekends and involved travel, so that is not an option for us unless I am included. She even tells her dad that if we go out to eat she should pick the place (she hates any place I choose) and also believes I should be on the same "budget" she is - if BD tells her she should stick to under ten for a meal, she complains if I don't have the same rules. She has stolen my underwear and kept them. She walks around dressed like a slut and her dad sees no issue with that. She wants to sit in the front seat of the car by him and have me in the back seat. It goes on and on.

I guess I know that this is a common complaint on this board, having spent most of the day reading about this type of issue. But my question is, NOW WHAT? What do I do from here? I refuse to disengage because that limits my time with my new husband and it lets her win; that is what she wants. We also have her 100% of the time (though court in February I PRAY will resolve that once and for all so the parents can't keep using the child as a weapon, nor the child using the parents as pawns.). There is no escape that I can see - so what can I do?