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SD crying and screaming bloody murder- I NEED ADVICE!

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:54pm

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SD is screaming and crying "I want my mommy" and won't stop. She has now asked for SO's dirty clothes to sleep with since BM gives her dirty shirts to sleep with. SD is 5. SO is ignoring her, and she isn't stopping. It's not my kid, but right now, it's VERY much my problem. What should I do?

swstepmom's picture

Submitted by swstepmom on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:58pm

Do you have her full time or is this a holiday thing? Sounds like she is having some major issues and anxiety from not being with her mom? Or maybe she is just trying to get some attention from your SO? Either way I would probably step in and try and talk to her. 5 years old is still really small and she may not be understanding whats going on?

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:02pm

We usually have her eow; she's now been with us since Monday at 11 AM, for the holiday.

swstepmom's picture

Submitted by swstepmom on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:04pm

Did she get in any kind of trouble or did she just start this crying fit all on her own???

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:10pm

No trouble, she just does this about 60% of the time. If she isn't ready to sleep, she screams and sobs and wails until, like Echo said, she wears herself out.

dispiritedstepmom2011's picture

Submitted by dispiritedstepm... on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:13pm

i agree with echo, and it seems your SO may be handling it right. perhaps after she calms down u can explain to her that behaving like that will get her ignored and possibly punished. explain how she can get attention the right way. trying to talk to her while she is screaming wont work cause she wont hear u anyways.

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:24pm

Oh, I agree! I'm the one who told SO to ignore her in the first place; he used to go up there every time! Now I just need to know how to get this sorted for good.

swstepmom's picture

Submitted by swstepmom on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:13pm

Oh i see....so it is a fit because she doesn't want to go to sleep yet. I would just let her wear herself out then because she is old enough to NOT be doing that. As much as you probably want to go in there and yell at her to stop it would probably only make her think her fit is working. She needs some punishment for acting like this though so she stops doing this in the future.....

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:22pm

Exactly! We ended up completely ignoring her. But she does this all the time, and I'd love some advice on how to make it stop for good!

daysleeper's picture

Submitted by daysleeper on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:39pm

Thank you. I was hoping that we were doing something right by ignoring it. She started crying for her mommy only after her cries of "DADDY" we're ignored. She came downstairs and he told her to go to bed, so she screamed upstairs saying "I'M CRYING I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP I JUST CAN'T MY BACK HURTS". Finally, she stopped.

icecubenow's picture

Submitted by icecubenow on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 10:47pm

Her crying is just noise. That's all. Noise.

My SD17 did this to me, when she first came to live with us. Full blown tantrum, screaming at me that she wanted her mother. I understood completely. And I told her then, as I tell her today, I will NOT baby her. She threw the tantrums for one day, without response from me. I wasn't cold or mean to her. I simply let her rip. When she had gotten it out of her system, it was out. End of sentence.

Doesn't mean everything was roses after that,...just means the tantrum stopped.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 7:55am

Ahh she's never been allowed to "cry it out" Once again, infant/toddler behaviour that has been allowed to continue into preschool/school age.

BM should be SHOT!