the question "how are you?" is a loaded question, when you are not allowed to share your thoughts, feelings, concerns or ..anything because DH likes to live in his cave of blindness and wont come out and play. if you try to create a partnership, you are accused of ...oh so many things (pushy, mean, manic depressive, you name it) just for saying things like "we need to share our feelings with eachother, silence and keeping things in the drawer are not going to help us, come on is safe, it is ok to have hard feelings about our family life, it is not ok to keep them taboo or secret, they will grow, they wont go away"
so, you end up having these long periods of silences and weird conversations about the rain or how much it snowed last night ...but never, ohhh, never talk about the skeleton in the closet..and it is starting to smell.
my DH when asked about his feelings he says he has none but he is so sensitive about anything i said that one has to wonder ...for a guy without feelings you are quite fragile,

i dont do well walking on eggshells and apparently there is no other way of keeping my marriage afloat....time for hard choices...im so tired.