How Do I Calm My Husband Down?
Many of you have posted here how your husband don't support you, nor stand up for you to his kids - but I have the opposite issue.
At first, my husband was also in denial about how is kids were being disrespectful to me, and him. Now that he has "woken up" he is gung-ho about dealing with them. Actually, a little TOO gung-ho.
This last dramatic incident - where his son and he talked over the phone - where his son's fiance stuck her nose where it doesn't belong, my DH is VERY, VERY MAD! He is someone who it takes a LOT to get him really mad, but when he reaches that point, he is a force to be reckoned with! :O I asked him if his kids have ever seen him this mad, and he said, maybe once (if they remember it) when they were very young. Other than that, he has been pretty layed back with them. Too layed back unfortunately. 
Now that the "sleeping giant has been awakened" - my DH is coming up with all these ideas on how to approach his sons upcoming wedding. He is being very "creative" in some of his ideas, and I keep telling him to "calm down". He says it is all talk, he is not really going to do any of it, but when their wedding date gets closer - especially if they pull another stunt where they address the wedding invitation only to him, he is going to go nuts!
Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of thing? A DH who is too eager to straighten his kids out? I am seriously worried that he will do something he will really regret. 
Well, I have to say it is
Well, I have to say it is admirable that he has finally seen the light, but you just need to moderate this a bit. Point out to him that you want to retain a relationship with the SKIDS (if you do!) and that if he goes in with all guns blazing, that could be very detrimental to long term good relations.
Why not sit down together and make a plan of how you will approach things, when you are both feeling calm, and write it down?
Personally I feel like they
Personally I feel like they poked the dragon long enough they deserve the wrath. But, I'm in a bad mood today so freely diregard my opinion.
I keep telling him "No, don't
I keep telling him "No, don't say that." or "No, don't do that."...it will only make things worse. I really feel that he is now looking back at all the times he has allowed his kids to get away with crap, and he regrets it. Now he is ready to go in with both guns blazing - to try and make up for all the times he didn't say or do something. It's like he is over-compensating.
You are right, when you say "they poked the dragon" one too may times! }:)
I hope they can appreciate the fact that this "wicked stepmother" is doing her best to try and avoid an all-out-nuclear-incident from happening between his son and the fiance. :O
At this point we just want to get past this wedding situation, and then if I never see these skids again, I don't care. I get the feeling my DH feels the same way - at least for now.
No, but I am happy for
No, but I am happy for you.
SO so far address any issues with the skids and Crazo.
But you know what? Push long and hard enough and you will wake a sleeping "dragon".
Honestly will it really make it worse. Let's face it, it's been a long time coming and they need to hear that their behavior has been unacceptable for a very long time.
It wouldn't be wise to go
It wouldn't be wise to go overboard in our response. Why use an atomic bomb, when an RPG gun will do?
We'll see how long my DH's restraint holds. There is one thing that he has really wants to do, but so far I have talked him out of it. I think it would really be too antagonistic.
Despite the lack of respect us the skids have, I do feel it is possible to go too far in our response - if it isn't necessary to go that far. Now if they keep poking us, we can always bring out the bigger weaponry.
Very good point, reacting to
Very good point, reacting to the extreme is usually a bad idea, however I am happy that you can be the one going " now darling" and not the one going what the????
Yes, let him handle it. You
Yes, let him handle it. You being sweet and trying to calm him down probably has the opposite effect- he thinks "Not is so sweet, I can't believe they treated her like that!"
It'll probably do them good to get blasted once or twice, IMO.My DH always was like , "poor little CTBB" once CTBB was rude to me and DH just lost it. I couldn't believe it! It was like all the years of buildup, a lightbulb just went off. They almost camre to blows, thier noses were touching. Sheesh. It's never easy is it??