Reasons BM hates me
1. I am younger then her, she is fast approcing 30 and I just turned 24

2. DH wanted to marry me, he asked to marry me even though I wasn't knocked up and it is commen knowledge that is the ONLY reason he asked her.

3. I am 6ft 1 with long legs and a fantastic ass if my Dh is to be believed while she is 5ft 3 and 60lbs overweight and you cant even find her waist.

4. Her son comes to spend the summer with me a hellion who can't be off medication without every adult in his life being drunk to going home at the end of the summer with his behavioral therapist saying he is vastly improved and wants to try taking him of meds. That didn't last though 3wks back with her and he had to go back on.

5. I cook real food and everyone raves about it, she can't boil water and feeds her son only fast food.

6. I live in a beautiful home my DH inhereited after the divorce and she lives in a trailer on a farm in the middle of nowhere with her whole awful family.

7. DH and I's daughter is months ahead developmentaly for her age and is constantly called beautiful by everyone who sees her and SS poor child looks more like her everyday.

That is just some of many reasons that BM hates me.

I'm younger.
I'm prettier.
I'm nicer.
I don't have to buy expensive things for people to get them to like me.
I have nothing to prove to anyone, least of all: her.
I do not demand every single penny I can possibly get.
I am smarter.
I am better educated.
I am a better parent.
I am a better partner.
I have a nicer home.
I have a nicer car.
I have DH and she lost out

1. I am MUCH younger than BM (20 years...she's older than DH).
2. I am expecting our second baby together, as apposed to her one child with DH.
3. I can cook and her kid actually eats my food.
4. I'm not in debt like she is.
5. I'm much taller than her, even pregnant am not as wide as she is, and I have naturally large breasts, unlike her implants.
6. I have a much nicer car, and can afford it because I know how to handle money.
7. My in-laws love me, and constantly tell me how they always hated her.
8. DH and I rarely fight, unlike her relationship with him. DH constantly says I'm the complete opposite of BM.
9. DH said he didn't marry BM out of love. He said he thought it was "the thing to do", whereas with me, he wanted to "celebrate our love".

I don't nag
I don't try to control
I have my own life and my own money
Totally cuter
He has always adored redheads and she always knew it...voilà here comes me, with a smattering of freckles too
Perky 35c's in pretty lacy bras
His parents loved me the second they met me
I make him smile
White lace panties she would never wear
My kids are smart successful well behaved and grateful.
Six bedrooms so there's always room for her kids when she goes nutterbutter
The thing she hates most about me... I ignore her very existence. And now so does dh. There is absolutely no reason for him to ever acknowledge her even when she sends fifteen texts telling us what jerks we are.... I've been known to turn off his phone...and go to.... bed early. It always gets back to her that we were 'tired " when she asks where dad was...

1. I am one year older but look 10 or more younger than her.
2. I am 200lbs smaller then her.
3. I have a job and make more than dh.
4. I have a dd which is something she always wanted.
5. We have a house and nice cars, she rents an apt and has a van that her aunt bought b/c she is too lazy to get a JOB.
6. The boys love me and take up for me all the time to her.
7. I have the life she wants but lost!
8. she knows she screwed up and can't stand that I have what she threw away.

9. DH wanted to marry me, he asked to marry me even though I wasn't knocked up and it is commen knowledge that is the ONLY reason he asked her. I stole this but this is the MAJOR reason bm hates me!

"I just happen to be 30 and still get carded because people think I'm lying about being 21. For whatever reason she's obsessed with telling DH that she's prettier than me" This same thing happened to me too! I forgot as it was 9 years ago. But she still for some odd reason says that my dd doesn't look a thing like me even though we are asked if wse are sisters all the time and that we looks so much alike. I too have been carded not even a year ago b/c he thought I was lying about being over 21 and I was 36 then! LOL LOVE IT.

I am the person she wants to be - Simple :):D

I am younger, have a higher degree than her, make more money, have a nicer house, and DH wants me.

I am 12 years OLDER than the Behemoth. I'm cute, dark haired and petite and am aging EXTREMELY well DESPITE all the BM/PAS/Skids drama.

Although on PAPER the Behemoth has more education than I do, she is dumber than a box of rocks and couldn't even figure out how to get a court date for pro-se divorce paperwork that *I* filled out (all 100 pages of it) on behalf of GG (biodad I live with). The irony is that she now works within the court system as a CPS worker!!! And yet she is the worst mother EVER with all three children abject failures in school!!

I have two grown fully functional bios that were well behaved when children and made excellent grades (TOTAL and STARK contrast to her chimps on crack)

The only thing she and GG have in common is the same shoe size (she's much taller than GG and is absolutely HUGE vertically and horizontally)

My job entails using my brain, whereas hers is a rubber stamp position to eliminate the role of the father in the home (how fitting)

1.) I am super smart, and I don't let DH believe her lies. I'm strong and I refuse to let him roll over for her.
2.) The skids LOVE me.
3.) Mine and DH's double salaries make it possible for us to live in a nice house in an awesome neighborhood and do lots of fun stuff with the kids.
4.) I'm ten years younger, prettier, own my own car, have a college degree, have a nice paying job, and generally make better life decisions.
5.) DH adores me.
6.) DH and I have a lot of friends who love us.
7.) I take the initiative to help with HW, and schoolwork. I'm in contact with the teachers saying things like "SS11's main problem is that he doesn't know his multiplication tables...Do you agree? Can you suggest anything besides flash cards that might help?" which get QUOTED to her at P/T conferences.
8.) DH proposed to me after we'd been dating a year...it took her 4 years and 2 kids before he decided to marry her, and then it only lasted a year.

First and foremost - The skids LOVE me.

Second - She wants the life I have. She had the life and thought the "grass was greener", so she left DH, moved in with the new guy. HE moved out a few months later.

Third - She has no control over DH anymore.

Fourth - I am a better parent.

AND Fifth - I have actually known DH and BM for over 25 years. We have lots of mutual friends - and once, a long time ago, while DH and BM were still married, my BF (at the time) and I went to a Super Bowl party at their house, and BM (drunkenly) told me how she was always jealous of me, and how her father, and her husband always talked about me - saying how "HOT" I am, and how nice I am, and how much fun I am to be around. She then proceeded to tell me that I was "much too pretty" for the guy I was dating at the time.
I bet she wishes she could take all that back. Her father still flirts with me every time I see him.

All of this fuels her hatred. It is neverending.

BM is thinner than me. She has bigger boobs than me. She doesn't have to work for a living & I do. She drives a nicer car than me. She lives in a bigger home than I do. She has a fancier cell phone than I do. She has more expensive clothes & more nice jewelry than me. She gets her nails done regularly & I never have. My feet are bigger than hers. My ass is bigger than hers.

Even with all of the petty & shallow one-ups she has on me, my heart is bigger than hers will ever be. I have a strong work ethic. I have incredible character. I don't struggle to apologize when I'm wrong. I don't jump to judge someone because they look old or because they look poor, or because they don't wear the latest styles or have the nicest things. I have it in me to look at the person inside of the outer layer. I am happy with who I am. I'm happy in my marriage. I'm not insecure. I have a partner I can count on to be with me through every step of life, but I'm strong enough to walk it alone if I have to.

She can keep her fancy things, her bigger boobs, her thinner body & her shallow ways. I rest well knowing that even as broke as we stay & with what little we have, inside I'm a happier person. My life is filled to the brim with the things that are important. My heart is full & if I spend the rest of my life with only what I have now, I will have everything I need to feel satisfied with who I am & what I've accomplished. Her need to be noticed, not for the person she is, but for the things she has & the way she looks will be a lifelong battle to keep up. Beauty fades. Cars break. Clothes wear. Bigger homes cost more to maintain. She can have it.

I'm glad this thread is here because I periodically wonder about it...really, why does she hate me?

It must just be because I exist since:

1. It can't be because the skids love me, because she's done a good job of poisoning at least SD against me. SS15, being a teenaged male, is more or less indifferent toward me- he acts like a normal kid would toward his friends' moms.

2. While I am thinner than her (most people are) and possibly even better looking than her, I'm not a knock-out by any stretch of the imagination. SO does think I'm beautiful, though. Maybe she knows this.

3. Even though I have a job and therefore more money, a running car, and a little nicer house, I think she's OK with her barely getting by existence and cheating the welfare system way of making a living. She might even get more satisfaction out of what she gets away with than I do out of my career.

4. She never cared about SO's happiness while they were married, so I don't see how him being happy with me would affect her now.

5. My kids are excellent students, but she doesn't give a crap about school or even whether her kids go to school...so I don't think there's jealousy there.

6. My not having a criminal record (as opposed to hers) isn't a likely reason to hate me. There are lots of people without crminal records that she doesn't hate.

7. I used to do her personal favors- rides, lending my car or money, babysitting...things I would gladly do for a friend. She still hated me.

8. I'm a nice person and she used to try to be my friend. Even though she was living with her boyfriend and suggested that I date SO (which I already was, we just didn't find it any of her business), once he moved in she turned on me.

The best things she can come up with is to criticize my not-so-great housekeeping (bunch of kids and pets, plus a full time job) and that I'm "that whore". If anything, my self-esteem is pretty low, so I don't think I have any inflated thinking as far as why she shouldn't hate me. I wouldn't even care, except that she's convincing SD not to like me and the crazy, hateful things she does get old (unfounded reports to social services, once tried to beat me up, etc).

She once stated to me and SO that she could get him back anytime she wanted. Despite her efforts, it hasn't worked. SO swears he wouldn't get back together with her even if he didn't have me. She evidently can't accept that, so she blames me.

Therefore her reasons to hate me appear to be that:

1. My house is not entirely clean.

2. I'm "that whore" (although I've yet to receive any money for my services).

3. I exist.

This is a wonderful idea! BM hates me because I am filling all the holes she was never able to. She is jealous!

Well, I am a step-dad, so the dynamic is a little different. In summary, I think that SD17's "perfect" bio-daddy hates me because:

1. I don't have a giant anus where my head should be.

LOL! "short crispy hair", "pillsbury dough girl", "sat on the couch naked","man chin", I almost chocked on my yogurt!

We will leave the physical attributes aside... and just leave it at BM is and looks like a crackehad, and I am not, and do not.

With that said:

1. I am DH's best friend. We enjoy each others company and would much rather spend our time together (with or without the kids) than apart. When DH and BM were married, he was NEVER home. Always with his friends.

2. DH RESPECTS me. That means more to me than anything.

3. I have held a job for 13 years, and make decent money (for not having a degree of any kind)more than BM could even dream of making. And that is not a dig at her being poor. That is saying, I am paid well for working hard.

4. I RESPECT MYSELF. I am proud of who I am.

5. SS adores me. No matter how much BM has attempted to turn him against me, the truth ALWAYS prevails. SS knows who I am, and that I love him to pieces.

6. I keep a clean house and DH is a neat freak.

7. DH is proud of me, and tells me that. He brags to his friends and coworkers about me. What a good wife, hard worker, good mom... that I am.

I could sit and one up her all day with looks, and material things. There is just no comparison between BM and I, we are completely opposite. But more importantly, I am happy with my life. I have created a good life for myself WAY before DH came along, and that is what attracted him to me. I earned everything that I have from the sweat of my brow (or my brain... whatever) and I am PROUD of that. And so is DH.

Wow. This is exactly what I needed today.

- she drops her kids off in a gorgeous neighborhood at a house I own all by myself then heads back to the trailer park where she had to move in with her parents since she was foreclosed on.

- she gets her nails done, new clothes, goes out partying, cigarettes but never has money for the kids and the kids are getting old enough to catch on and call her on it. meanwhile I have given things to have the money to take them to museums, trips, activities.

- anyone in his family who meets me can't belive how wonderful I am to the kids and to him. they all think she is awful.

- her youngest walks in the house after leaving me and says "I already miss her"

- we've taken amazing trips together and the kids love hearing about it when we get back or go with us.

- that I have never said a bad word about her in the presence of her children, looked at pictures of her baby shower without flinching, listened to stories about their memories of mom and dad together, etc. it must be hard knowing there's a woman out there without my own children that actually put her children at a higher priority than she does herself.

- because her ex is no longer at her beck and call because i have showed him he is worth more than that

I've never had to wonder. BM made it clear the first time she met me, a meeting she insisted upon because the boys had been talking a lot about me. She immediatly began screaming at DH saying I knew "that's" what you wanted. To which DH replied Of course it is...that's what we all want...look at your bf looking at her now...She's a beautiful, intelligent, classy, sweet woman who works and doesn't sleep with everyone she meets...even our kids like her better. The deal was sealed with that one encounter.

It hasn't helped any that she of course still wants DH back and calls frequently to either beg or demand that he "come home" now. CRAZY! LOL

Has anyone else noticed a huge trend here.
Everyones comments are all similar.
I really think the best one is.
Our DH/BF are with us not because they knocked us up and are "trying" to do the right thing. They're with us because we are who we are and we don't need to be caniving women to trap them into a relationship with us. Which seems to be the trend with BM's.

1)I have a great paying "career". BM works minimum wage and she told BF that she aspires to work at walmart. I fell off my chair laughing so hard when he told me. Theres some goals in life.

2)I own a house. BM lives in apartment after moving out of BF house where he paid for everything, while she banked he part time paycheques at the time.

3)I have an amazing son that has a full life of sports and everything (I work hard to provide for my son), that she will never be able to provide her daughter working at walmart. And she knows that we'll be able to give her daughter so much more. Ya I know that pisses her off.

4)I have 3 vehicles personally, a summer car, a winter 4x4 (live in the country) and a huge lifted jeep that we go away weekends north and rock crawl and mudding, again because we work hard to have toys. BM had to buy a newer vehicle because she doesn't have BF to fix her car for free anymore.

5)BF's parents love me, a)because they have told me there sons never been as happy b) because they know I'm not there to sit on my ass while BF brings in the wood for the winter or things like that. i'm there helping so we can get it done quicker to spend time together. Where she'd nag at him from the couch because he's not spending anytime with her. While he'd be cutting the grass fixing her vehicle etc. wake up twit it's called responsability. Go live in your box. And FYI any excuse he could come up with do anything but spend time with you. HELLO.
Its called a partnership not a dictatorship.

6)We respect eachother
7)I'm healthy skinny, not anerexic skinny
8)I don't have a receading hairline from pulling it back so tight everyday.
9)I stood by BF when he had no job (long story) now he has the most amazing paying job. BM left him as soon as the money was running out. Huh funny
10)I treat BF amazing, conciderate, supportive
11)I don't need posessions to prove anything to anyone. It's called my personallity that provides me with the most amazing and supportive friends and family.

12)BF and I are so happy. BM thought he'd always be there for her to come back when she chose. HA when you have something amazing don't play games cause you will lose, and you lost the best thing that would ever happen to you.

13)He started standing up and holding his ground since I came along, made him realize she can't hold their daughter over his head. that the courts will decide, not decide on the basis that you give into all her bullshit, but because he's a good dad and deserves his daughter.

14)SHE really hates me know because BF said no contact other then email, and has actually stuck to it. (I mentioned it months ago and never again and HE out of no where put it in effect, I had really nothing to do with it) But I'll be glad to take the blame lol

This is a great exercise and really needed it today.

Oh this is fun I'll play

1. I'm 5 yrs older than her and look 10xxx better
2. I'm not covered in jail house style homemade tattoos (I wish I was joking)
3. I'm smarter
4. I don't make a career out of welfare
5. DH actually WANTED to marry me, and never wanted to really be with her, and only was out of a sense of obligation
6. I'm not a total slob and actually cook and clean instead of just buying new clothes with CS money and ordering take out
7. This is her original reason for hating me, her older sister went to school with me and she was super trashy and I made fun of her at the time (when I was 15 keep in mind) over 15 yrs later, BM still holds a grudge about that, when even her sister told her to get over it

- I am younger
- I don't need to wear fake tan/extensions/huge amount of make up on a daily basis to feel good about myself.
- I have a job (I know, its a revelation!) she has never worked
- I have a lot more money
- I have a gorgeous car (she started demanding more cs after she saw it LOL!)
- I am also studying for a degree as well as working full time
- fdh proposed to me on my birthday on a trip to new york (he never proposed to her at all!)
- we go on 2-3 holidays a year (this really gets to her, she tries telling him he shouldn't go!)
- I am far more educated, intelligent and can even spell!
- I can cook
- I am better with children
- fdh's family hated her but love me
- she used to be horrible to my fdh saying he is ugly and will never find a girl (he is absolutely gorgeous and got a girl 100x better than her!)

I'm way hotter than her, and my kids are way cuter than hers are. I have a better job than her (she sits on her ass and lets her new DH support her). DH is happier with me than he was with her. His family likes me more than they liked her.