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which is easier? boys or girls?

dodgegal05's picture

So I am just wondering, is it easier to have adult step sons or adult step daughters? I only really have sds since the boy disowned df years ago.

twopines's picture

In my case, SS28 is a dream and SD26 is a bitchy Twit. They were raised in the same way in the same house by the same parents, so I guess it's a crapshoot.

dodgegal05's picture

It seems like there is more competition with sds since I am also female. Maybe stepdads have less issues with girls since they are opposite genders.

wonderwhy's picture

I totally think sds are the worst. Haven't had any issues with ss. Sds are a bunch of biatches.

purpledaisies's picture

I have to tell you i am soooooo glad dh has boys!!! I have 1 girl and she is mine, i really thought I was going insane with her! She is a good kid really she just seems to think she had all the say in what she would do and say and go and everything! She even called me a hypocrite why don't know as she was comparing me to her bf parents and they are a preacher and his wife however they let her stay the night there as long and as often as she wants.

Anyway my point is I think girls just have this thing about having to be alpha in her home and they NEED momma to slap her back into reality! I did it and my sister did it and every girl I know did it.

Boys well they are SOOOO easy!

frustratedstepdad's picture

I have never had any experience with males, but 3 out of my 4 adult SD's have put me through emotional hell. SD's seem to think they can do whatever/whenever, even if they are living under your roof. In too many cases the bio-mom tries to be a friend to their daughter instead of a parent, and it causes havoc when a stepdad comes in and tries to restore some type of order.

herewegoagain's picture

I couldn't agree more. I actually feel sorry for the guy who married crazy witch...he has to deal with 17yr old loser 9th grader with baby cause idiot BM treated her as her EQUAL ever since I can remember...and the loser skid, whose SDAD has been there for years, never even mentions anything about him on fb, etc...no pics of them together at her 15th bday, nothing...poor guy...pathetic parenting on mom's part.

On another note, I think that SDs are much worse for 2 reasons...
1. as you stated, moms treat them as their BFF and when SDAD comes along, he's a pain and she doesn't get to do "adult" things, as mom has allowed her to do...
2. when SDs go to dad's house, they are seriously coached by mom on "he loves you, you're his little girl, oh yes, you are 17, but you are still his little girl...and he chooses that woman over you? blah, blah...which makes them think of their dad as THEIR spouse and they fight you for the "1st place in daddy's heart"...even if it means, they touch them inappropriately, etc...because that's what they think they need to do to get daddy's attention...ie. daddy kisses SMOM as a HUSBAND, idiot skid thinks "I gotta kiss daddy in the same way or he'll like her more..." disgusting, but true

winehead's picture

In my case my relationship with SD has always been good. Not always the case with SS, but currently we have no issues. At least that was true when I talked to DH an hour ago!

novemberm's picture

My boyfriend has 2 adult sons (18 and 19) and a daughter who is 22. They are all obnoxious,sneaky and dishonest (to name a few), and show no love at all for my bf. BUT, the daughter is the most aggressive. She holds nothing back-you should see her Facebook. Her anger is downright scary at times. She also plays the guilt card more than her brothers, who are probably learning more from her as time goes by.

AVR1962's picture

I think it really depends on how the children have been taught by the bio parents to accept and respect the step parent. Reason I say this is, I expected my girls to respect both their stepdad who raised them AND their bio dad's wife. I accepted ex's wife, I supported her decisions with my girls and I never talked about about her. My girls have not only accepted their stepdad but they have willingly accepted their first stepmom and all of their dad's girlfriends after he divorced the second time. On the flip side husband was not a supportive, step-to-the-plate type dad, didn't want his kids to be mad at him and would change things he said to the boys after agreeing with me he would address things in a certian manner and when he did this it was always to save his hide and somehow to issues back on me. No matter how much I spooke to him about this it never changed so the boys got the impression that dad was the good guy. To top that all off bio mom was running both my husband and myself down to the boys, telling them lies and making it look like she was the only person that understood them and that I hated them. She actually said this to my husband and if she is willing to do that, you know she ingrained it in the boys' heads. I tried to get my husband and his ex to understand how important it was for us to get along and work together for the best for the boys (basically I was the main parent to them) but there were so many issues between my husband and his ex that it made it impossible. I finally had to, as adults in their mid 20's, had to back out of their lives completely.....something suggested by my counselor. She said that I had become the scapegoat for the issues the boys had with their mother abandoning them and their real issues were with the bio parents.

Shannon61's picture

I'd have to say SD's are much worse that SS. After I got married, I moved in w/DH and SD (25 at the time). She made my life a living hell w/her petty, mean-spirited antics and her laziness. During a family meeting she told me she felt I was trying to come between her and her daddy. Geez, if I had the power to do that, she didn't have much of a relationship in the first place. It took 3 years to get her out.

I feel a SS would have been more focused on building his life, his car, friends, etc. I just can't envision a SS making a comment like that and behaving in such a childlike manner.

hippiegirl's picture

My SD21 has her life together for the most part. She has a baby, is with the baby's dad, has her own place, etc. SS23 on the other hand, is as lazy and self-entitled as they come!

Doubletakex3's picture

SDs are worse, without a doubt. (I have 2SDs and 3SSs). SDs know just how to manipulate the hell out of their fathers.

Shannon61's picture

I agree, I think SDs are much more manipulative and know the "daddy" buttons to push. They also have a more of a tendency to be jealous. When I moved in w/DH and SD . . she pranced around the house wearing shorts that read "daddy's girl" . . and she was 25 at the time. :sick:

buttercookie's picture

I have 2 daughters and 2 stepsons, I think they are equally creepy. I got one good daughter and one good stepson. I got one rotten daughter and one rotten stepson. I don't think it matters about the gender it depends on the kids personality and the PAS the kids learned.