Successful introduction?

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I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and it's getting to where I need to get to know his kids. They live with their mother, but their arrangement is liberal enough that he can basically see them whenever he wants.

Anyway. His daughter is 15 and apparently isn't hot on the idea of her father being with anyone except her mother (ignoring, of course, that my boyfriend divorced his ex-wife because she cheated twice while he was deployed and again after he said they'd try to work it out). His son is 17 and is apparently pretty cool with the idea, except that I'm closer to his age than their father's. I'm 23, and my boyfriend is 34. (He goes, "I could date her!" and when my boyfriend told me about the conversation, I was like, "That's borderline illegal/creepy. D:")

I don't expect or even want them to view me as a mother figure, even after the moving-in-with-me that my boyfriend and I have been discussing goes through. I just want to get on good terms, to make them understand that I'm here to support their dad and them, and that if they ever need me to do anything from driving them somewhere to secret father's day plots, I'm in.

So... what's my approach? Have you guys had anything be particularly successful?

Other fun fact: his ex-wife has two other daughters by the guy she cheated with, but they were born while my boyfriend was still married to her. He thought they were his until she started acting suspiciously and taking them off places without the other two, not letting him know (to see the actual father) -- so he had a paternity test done and poof, not his. So he doesn't pay child support on those two, but he's still their father like he always has been -- they call him Daddy and he takes them places and he's generally awesome, because apparently his ex-wife doesn't have any effing clue where this other guy got to in the end.

If you want, you can also tell me why a woman would be crazy enough to have kids with the person she's cheating on her husband with and think she can keep hiding it. o0

I don't want to be

I don't want to be pessimistic, but I can't tell you this is going to be a bed of roses - a brief read of some of the threads on the forum will tell you that.
What I would encourage you to do is to get to know your BF's children as well as you can before you move in with him. I think that most of the members of this forum would agree with me - don't jump into something blind that may or may not work out. It can be tremendously challenging to be in a stepfamily - I'm not being patronising when I say you are young and may feel overwhemed by it, especially as the son is close to you in age. I had brought up two daughters to adulthood when I moved in with my DH who has two younger daughters. I thought - two SDs? that will not be hard - I know about parenting. We have been together 9 years, married for two, and it has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.
Good luck but be cautious and go into this with your eyes open and with as much knowledge of the SKIDS as possible.

I kinda figure it won't be,

I kinda figure it won't be, but it'll be a heck of a lot easier than when I finally have to put up with his bonkers ex-wife. I've headed off the "this is my dad's house" argument because he'd be moving into my house, not the other way around. Hoping that subconsciously will help out some. He's been living with his sister since the divorce because CS is something like half his take-home pay.

I was considering starting off with a letter so they can fume/hate me/whatever at their own pace, but I dunno if that's a good plan or not.

I don't want to be

I think you are right about

I think you are right about the house issue - it will probably help that you aren't moving into his.
I wrote a letter to my SDs when I moved in with their dad - they were 8 and 6 at the time. It didn't hurt but in the long term it didn't make a lot of difference. If you feel the need to introduce yourself and lay out your agenda it might be a good idea.
Be careful about finance issues. If he is hard up, and you are providing housing and maybe paying a lot of the bills because of the CS he has to pay - you may start to become resentful after a while - if it seems like you are prevented from doing things like have nice holidays or buy a house because of his financial constraints.

I'm paying the mortgage and

I'm paying the mortgage and all the bills at my place already, so anything over 0 would be help, haha. And CS gets cut some after next year when his son's 18.

Thanks for your comments. I won't get my hopes up with the letter, but I'll write it and see what happens.

I recommend one thing. Go

I recommend one thing.

Go SLOWLY.

You have the right idea with your age and the kids' ages there is no way they will accept you as a mother figure. And honestly I think you need to be very careful with how you approach your relationship with them. As the boy suggested - you ARE in their generational age range. It could be very easy to slip into a friendship with them that could be disastrous. Hell the Lifetime Movie Network wouldn't exist if it weren't for plot lines like this!

Set boundaries from the get go.

I wish you the best of luck.

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