I would have felt the same way. And it seems that we are always the ones that have to take the high road, doesn't it? It really makes me mad! Somehow they turn it around to make you seem like the crazy one when you're the only normal one!!!!

Is the ex-girlfriend your step-daughter's mother? If so, then... I have to say I can kind of understand why she did it. She has one chance to celebrate her coming baby with everyone she cares about, and it's certainly possible to care about people who have been or are somewhat rough. But from the perspective of a daughter, if admitting something to someone I love means they won't show up (if telling you the ex-girlfriend would be there meant having a baby shower without you), then I might be selfish and keep my mouth shut. But that's just me. And frankly, the ex-girlfriend could have taken the keep-her-mouth-shut hint, herself... Don't cut yourself off, though. If you keep it a minor incident, it will be. If you make it into something big, it'll be that. I think your step-daughter needs you too much for that.

Crap! I think if that happened in my world I wouldn't know which way to look then smile a dazzling smile and say "Gosh! 8 long years since I last saw you! Imagine how long it has been!" And not said another word to her but smile at her across the room at every opportunity.

You poor thing! I would mention to your SD that you were surprised she was invited but of course they can invite whoever they want. And the next time you get an invite somewhere, you have to deliver food to the home-bound or something like that. SOme meaningful acceptable volunteer work.

And send a recycled gift seeing they are all in to recycled relationships!

Look at it this way--I bet BM hated Ex-GF before you came along. But misery loves company so the women scorned are now bonding, BM needed someone there "on her side" ....hee hee, You are happy with your DH and they can't stand it.

What a heartless gaggle of cruel bitches. There is no chance in hell an EX girl friend, who has no relationship to the family whatsoever should be invited to any family events. I guess a baby shower doesn’t qualify as a family event. Clearly it was a wicked scheme stewed up by BM and SD in an attempt to publicly humiliate you. It appears that MIL may have had a hand in it as well.

Let’s put it this way their behaviour is beyond disgusting and then to add insult to injury they had the nerve to say when you had a perfectly healthy reaction that you are a drama queen? These women truly are trailer park trash. Your husband responded like a typical spineless jellyfish. As far as he is concerned if it didn’t hurt him, it didn’t hurt anyone and you are just making things up again because you’re just that way.

But they sure opened up a floodgate for some atrocious behaviour and it might be kind of fun setting up a situation for these bitches to get a huge dose of their own medicine. I would begin with BM who has made it known she is unhappy in her current marriage (a fact BM has shared with you via SD) and may need a little nudge to reconnect with a previous boyfriend.

Plan a smallish party with around maybe 30 people. Find one of those old lovers of hers to invite, after all it seems perfectly accepted in this family to invite old girlfriends to events so one could reasonably assume it’s quite all right to invite old boyfriends too!

He could, just like your husband’s old girlfriend did, use this party as a platform to announce to everyone present that BM never really meant that much to him after all, and how bad he felt about screwing around behind your DH’s back and how relieved he was when she finally remarried and yet he is saddened to learn that BM is so unhappy in her current marriage.

If you want to see a knot of drama kings and drama queens that will definitely do the trick! And I bet you your DH won’t be so gracious when some of the humiliation shit pile lands squarely on his reddened face. When he voices concerns just tell him to stop making waves and see the good in what you were doing, you were only trying to help BM and he was the one who told you BM is unhappy in her marriage, etc.

Also be prepared for the fact that while you did EXACTLY the same thing to BM that she did to you will not meet with the same social reaction. But the silver lining in that dark cloud is that it will be mildly amusing watching SD blow her cork when mommy gets hurt whereas when you were hurt by her sadistic actions SD found it hilarious. When you clearly see that you are measured by a rigged yardstick you will have no qualms about fighting back.

Even if you don’t do it, it’s still fun thinking about it.