It's just good manners to acknowledge someone coming into the room. If she's allowed to ignore you, will she ignore teachers that she doesn't like? A boss? I know she's only six now, but if she doesn't learn respect (even for those she doesn't like) NOW, when WILL she? And her father should be teaching this. Or, is the 6-year-old in charge of deciding what is and is not acceptable?

I had this discussion MANY times with DH. His head was always too far up his precious angels' asses to see this for himself. When I addressed it, you would have thought I was speaking Vulcan. I finally got over it and started coming and going without saying so much as "H..." let alone "Hello."

Yeah we've had this neverending debate as well. My ss is 13. He'd like me to fall off the face off the earth. He is very upfront in stating that he does not like me and has not for many years. I've been in his life since he was 1. He would spend a whole weekend, week, or month in our house not speaking to me if he could. When we had him for a month the other summer-he went 8 days without initiating one word to me-I did speak to him and got brief, abrupt answers or none at all.

So I've gone thru phases were I've commented how rude it is that he acts as if I'm not here. Dh will then tell him he has to greet me. Eventually it becomes a big game. For example, ss will walk in the door a couple minutes before dh-and not greet me of course. Dh will follow along and say, "SS, did you greet hmo?" to which ss replies, "yes". Of course I pop up and say, "no, I dont think so" which then starts the "I did, I swear I did, SHE just didnt hear me". Or other times he will walk in before dh and walk by me two or three times-finally dh will come in and THEN ss will say, "hi". Obviously its not remotely genuine. And I finally decided that I'd prefer him not to greet me if he is going to play these sorts of games. The last two times he said hi were particularly unpleasant. He showed up one morning (unexpected to me) and walked straight to my room and interrupted me in the middle of my conversation with my dd and her friend, so I didnt reply. This was also the morning after he spent the previous night talking bad about me and my kids to dh's sister and her family. Of course, then that became a big deal. "see, dad, I try to be nice to hmo, but she just doesnt like me!" The last time he said hi to me was this last visit-right after we found out he has been smoking pot regularly and has been growing it in bm's front yard. I didnt answer him. I got chastised by dh on that one. It's really become just a power struggle so I'd as soon not hear it.

I completely ignore SD17, and she completely ignores me. Works out fine. If I am in the house at the same time, I will do individual activities by myself until she goes to bed. This way, I actually get uniterrupted time with DW. Sometimes I can talk DW into going to get coffee, etc., and leave SD17 at home, which is also nice.

I am for the most part disengaged from SD14 & SD16. SD16 and I always greet each other, we have a civil relationship, and occasionally even a conversation. SD14 is another matter. Sometimes she greets me cheerfully, others I am completely ignored. If the latter, I do not chase after her to say hello, I take my cue from her. We completely ignore each other most of the time, so it seems a bit daft to insist on a greeting. What I find MOST peculiar, however, is that both girls, on leaving or arriving, sometimes come at me for a hug. WTF???
The kind of relationship I have with them is most definitely not the hugging kind. I sometimes submit to being hugged, but usually I shrink away, and indicate with my body language that this is not going to happen. I can't bear SD14 hugging me when I know she loathes my guts. Why would anyone do this?

This is a huge one going on in our home right now!! SD14 is so nasty I am really ready to expolde. I am torn between - LOVING her not talking to me but then get pissed and think it's giving her the impression that she is the boss at the same time.....strange? I see her treat her Dad like a complete piece of crap; she doesn't give a crap about anyone in the house but herself; she is a nasty girl to be honest. My BD12 only talks to her out of fear - SD steals whatever she wants from her and dad just fakes like everything is fantastic and it makes me sick. SD will walk right past ANYONE and only talkes to you if she needs something from you!

Then I am afraid I am going to loose it one day and bite her head off!!

My SK's won't speak to me, even if their dad "pokes" them to say hello or good-bye. And they've been doing that for over 6 years.

I used to worry that it was giving them "power" to think this was acceptable (was my silence acquiesence?).

And then one day, when their dad "poked" them to say hello and they refused, I looked directly at the three of them (DH and SK's) and said, "Oh, that's OK if they don't want to talk to me. My success in life does not hinge on whether or not I'm liked, accepted, or even acknowledged by a couple of snot-nosed teenagers."

(And I profusely thank StepAside for allowing me to loosely plagarize)

That statement right there told them everything they needed to know.

It is DEFINITELY a matter of respect and I'll go one step further.

Good breeding/manners DICTATES that younger ones should greet older ones FIRST

In the manner of introductions, the younger one is always introduced to the older one first.

Mrs. Elderly, I'd like you to meet Johnny, Johnny, this is Mrs. Elderly. . . and so forth.

My skids ignored me too. I walked up to Prince Hygiene who was sprawled out on the sofa taking up all the space, wearing his infamous "mini diaper" at 4 in the afternoon watching the dreaded "Icarly."

"You know it's rude not to say hello to someone when they walk in"

So then he said a forced "hello" while still looking at the TV.

I then stood in front of the TV and said "I said it's rude not to say hello to someone and MEAN it when they walk into a room."

He got the point.

SS4 and SD 8 greet me and I say hello and that is about it. I have no interest in engaging with SD beyond that, I've learned my lesson. They spent one night and grandma's and one night with FDH watching movies in the living room while I watched my grown up shows in the bedroom. I am fine with it being this way. FDH doesn't like it, (I think deep down he wanted the perfectly perfect stepford stepmother and he is now realizing I'm Not her)

My SD does not greet me or say much of anything to me. Since the majority of the time her words are incoherent at best! We do not have a speaking relationship so for me its okay. She talks like a baby and makes me nuts doing that so really I dont miss not talking to her. She can save conversation for her Dad and BM.