Emotional Abuse
So I got home from work yesterday and SO wanted to talk with me about the day that he had so we both sat out in the garage and he explained to me what had happened.
Apparetly the ex had called to let him know that there was another little boy in his daycare that was touching his son in an inappropratie place. SO's BS is 4. I guess the ex told the daycare director that if they didn't remove that little boy from the daycare that she would remove both of her kids. SO told me that he agreed with her on that one.
I guess after SO picked both the kids up from daycare FSD(6) told him that her mom's new BF is mean to her and told her that he doesn't want her to be his daughter. FSD can be a handful and a down right nightmare sometimes but she's only 6. She then tells SO that the new BF hurts her little bother. FSS(4) said that he pulled his hair and FSD said that he pushed him down. Now this isn't the first time FSS has said something about this guy getting physical with him. 4th of July weekend he told SO's mother that the guy hit him. SO doesn't believe it. He says that he can tell that they are both lying about the physical abuse. Regardless SO calls the ex up has FSD get on the phone with her and tell her what she told SO. Then SO gets on the phone with the ex and told her that what is being done to FSD is emotional abuse and it needs to stop.
I don't trust this guy. The ex just stopped stalking SO in December of last year. We heard nothing about this guy from either of the kids until the ex sent a text telling SO that he was moving in and that was about six weeks ago. They have maybe been dating about 4 months and their getting married. Great for them but I think that she is just being desperate. Reaching out to the first thing that comes along without thinking about what's in the best interest of the kids. She knows that SO and I are planning on getting married. Infact she found that out when SO confronted her in December. She pretty much let a complete stranger move in who's abusive to the kids.
What would you do? I know it's out of my hands and they're not my kids but being a human being it still worries me. This guy looks like a complete looser.
It's been building. Both the
It's been building. Both the kids complain about how mean this guy is to them and that he picks on them.
All kids lie that's just how it is. The way that I see it is if they were going to lie about this to get attention then why haven't they gone to BM and told her the same things about me in order to get the same attention. They really don't get an extra attention for saying these things at our house. So there would be no reward for doing it.
I don't think that they're lying and these kids have put me through hell. I would be the first to call them out. I just don't have a good gut feeling about this situation with the kids and this guy. I know that they are telling the truth.
When I worked for CPS, I
When I worked for CPS, I would tell people all the time... if he makes you uncomfortable, there's something to it. It's hard to sort out what's for attention and what's real but if the stories are consistant and when seperated, the children have pretty much the same idea, you need to seek help for them. The professionals will sort out fact and fiction and this can all be done annonomusly. If you really think something is unhealthy is going on, it's better safe than sorry.
Thank you C J Baughn. This is
Thank you C J Baughn. This is how I feel as well. FSD did get on the phone with her mother and told her what this guy said and the ex just kept trying to deny that it even happened to her. Finally FSD ended up in tears by the end of the call. Both the kids didn't like me at first but they never told the ex anything like what has been said to SO.
The problem lies in trying to get SO to believe them. I'm shocked that he doesn't. I should be the one who's like, "I don't think that they are telling the truth." I usually am that person. But this time it's different. Neither of he kids has anything to gain from telling us these things. Kids throw temper tantrums to get there way. They lie to either get something out of it or get out of trouble. What if there's no trouble and nothing to get out of it?
SO believed his son when it came down to the daycare incident without any proof that it actually happened. Why not with this issue?