Curious - What is SK entitled to?
Sorry for the double entry, but I want folks' honest opinions on this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much. 
OK, so I have NO kids and had EVERYTHING before marriage - house, cars, etc. and I currently pay ALL the bills (he is struggling & hopefully after I put him through school, he will graduate & get a decent job to help me out) - I know this is terrible; I think about this EVERY damned day. So, his name is not on the deed. He doesn't contribute any to helping me maintain it, he should not have any claim to it, right? My MIL seems to think after the first year of marriage, it is fair to put his name on my deed. I don't think so. If I were to sell this one and he could contribute to buying another and paying for it, then maybe we'll see. However, if I did what she said and put his name on the deed and God forbid he passed away, wouldn't his little crumbsnatcher be entitled to some of it???
Don't do it, keep it in your
Don't do it, keep it in your name and if later you buy a house together then you both can be on the deed. One of the biggest mistakes I see on here is blending finances before your ready, just keep it seperate till its equal. Then when you buy a house together make a will that leaves you the house because you live in it, everything goes to the wife anyway in most states unless the will says otherwise. But DO NOT put him on the deed, wait and then start fresh on equal footing.
If you're concerned about the
If you're concerned about the house, you can put it into a Trust and keep the skids out of the equation entirely.
Thank y'all so much for your
Thank y'all so much for your feedback! I love this site! It really helps assure me as I don't really have anyone else to talk to about these kinds of things. Again, thanks!!!
Do not do this. I am not on
Do not do this. I am not on DH house and he sure as hell is not on mine. We have everything separate. His money is for his kids and mine is for mine. The wills and pre-nup dictate all of this. We have been married two years and together for 6. We have a nice life, but I will not co-mingle things, it just muddies up the waters. My house is rented. I maintain that and he maintains his. I contribute to half of the bills for this house. Just nothing that would be considered maintenance. We put sod down last week here. He paid that. I had some extra painting done at my house and I paid that.
Why would you do this? He hasn't contributed to the house in anyway and you are supporting him. If this relationship collapses in 5 years, you will have to sell the house to give his his half that he will be entitled to. You need a post nup. Please do not give away something that you have worked for.
Yeah, we kind of rushed into
Yeah, we kind of rushed into marriage, which I really did not want to do. I wanted a prenup, but given the time I couldn't do it. They have postnups?
He is and will not ever be on the deed to my house. If he contributes to buying another one later, I may consider doing that, but I really like to keep things separate too. I love him dearly but am already tired of being the "sugar mama," and we've only been married for 7 months, plus he has an illegitimate kid.
I never knew of postnups. Do you know what that entails? That would be something I would be interested in, however, he would probably be on the defensive about it.
DON'T DO IT! Crazy MIL...I
DON'T DO IT! Crazy MIL...I bet you if the shoe was on the other foot the witch wouldn't say that! Sick of these freaking MIL...Like my idiot MIL who told me recently I should get a job to help out my DH, but she NOT ONCE called our house when he didn't have a job and I paid for not just him and his pathetic kid, but even his lousy brother who stayed with us for about a month and didn't contribute!
Honestly, I wouldn't do ANYTHING except expect him to pay up 1/2 of everything...believe me, you sound just like I did years ago...guess what? I paid for the idiot's school and guess who got the extra money he made? Yep! The ex and his rat! I have yet to see any return on my freaking investment to help him out...by the time he can truly give me 1/2 of everything I gave him I'll be 70 yrs old! Don't do it. Don't do it.
PS - Don't do it!
I know a boy that rec'd the
I know a boy that rec'd the home his grandfather lived in. His mom made sure everything was taken care of, all paperwork signed, and she let her son have it. He starts seeing a woman. Everyone knows she's wacko. Then, a few months later, they marry. She wants her name on the house deed...."prove your love for me".
His mama is mad. The boy is upset put she keeps pushing and pushing for her to put her name on the deed". It'a a big deal and everyone in town knows about it.
Boy finally breaks down and puts her name on it. Two months down the road, she's tired of the will, takes her half of the house (they had to sell it) and she leaves town.
Just thought I'd share that little story with you. I find it interesting MIL is so concerned her boy isn't on the deed. Probably thinks if you keel over, she forsure wants her boy and grandkids to keep it.
Yeah...just say it's yours until you move into a bigger house and he's ready to share payments. To MIL...it's none of her business.
I had to check on this, as
I had to check on this, as I'm in the same situation. My DH is currently not on the deed or mortgage, as this was built when we were engaged, not married. IF his name were to go on the deed and mortgage and something happened to him, this house would revert to ME (not skids) as the other person on the mortgage.
Tell MIL to take a hike. She
Tell MIL to take a hike. She is looking out for her son and grands.
If she wants to help out, she should tell her sorry son to find a job and a help provide for his family.
Don't pay for his education. He can apply for aid & get a job to pay for it.
"And then perhaps you might
"And then perhaps you might start shopping for a crock-pot big enough to cram her in." What a great line.
I own my home, my car, my, my my...He has his, his, his. We do not mix and match.
Your MIL needs to mind her own business. You have worked for what you have, it is yours.
Do not commingle your funds, assets, etc. It will only complicate things. And it could cause resentment in the long run.
Depending on the state, I'm
Depending on the state, I'm not sure that keeping his name off the deed will do any good.
I've heard that my state looks at it this way - if you're married, a house is considered marital property. Now, my name is the only one on the house deed and if he were to die or we were to divorce, I have records proving that I (and I alone) have paid the down payment and the full mortgage (and extra) for 2 of the 5 years. I'm pretty sure I could argue that the amount I paid comes to me first, and THEN the rest be split, which would reduce his share from $12k to $3k.
Or he could (should) make a will leaving you the house. If anybody is concerned about the skids getting an inheritance from him, they can put a life insurance policy on him.
I believe that if both your
I believe that if both your names are on the deed and he dies the property automatically reverts to you. At least that is the way it is in my state. My first dh died without a will-and any property that we owned jointly automatically came to me. Any property that he owned solely became part of a trust and was divided amoung his hiers-which include spouse, kids. First the trust paid off any debts-then the spouse gets the first 15, 000 off the top, then the spouse gets 40percent of what remains with the kids dividing the rest. If I am remembering correctly. I got a little less than 15,000 so we never even made it to the division part of things. I had a grown sd from that marriage who was beyond pissed-she had a minimal relationship with my dh-but felt she was entitled to EVERYTHING. Seriously. Any property that we owned together (we owned a home, land, etc all jointly), his vehicle, his personal items-etc. I gave her whatever I felt she should have and then told her to bug off. Ironically she texted a month or so ago (her dad died over 11 years ago) and offered to buy his guitars. "name your price". I never answered her. Unfortunately for her the price was a loving relationship and treating her father with respect as well as treating me with a little respect.
Keep that house in your own
Keep that house in your own name. Keep everything separate. I've been with DH for 4 1/2 years, married for 2 1/2 years and we still have everything separate. Its the way I want it. I have no kids, he has one spawn. I came into the marriage with ALL the money...he came into it with his financial obligation (SD).
Keep your bank accounts separate and keep that house into your own name. Until such time as this man contributes half the equity built into your home...then AND ONLY then should he be entitled to to half.
Cool, thanks y'all for all
Cool, thanks y'all for all the info.
After reading, he will DEF stay off my deed. I just still fear for the other assets that may/may not be considered "marital property." With that said, I have some questions to ask an attorney that I really don't want DH knowing about. It's hard to keep anything secret. Have any of you talked with an attorney without your DH's knowing? And how did you arrange that? I'm not planning anything sneaky, I just want to make sure I'm protected.