The deal: I am married to an addict. He says he is trying to slowly change, he has gotten a little bit better. Our relationship is on the rocks at ALL times. At one point, the addiction had him almost handicapped, barely able to even get up without falling back over again. It has gotten better.

During the worst of it, I was taking on ALL the stress of his child. His ex wife was coming into my home making rules, she would see my husband in the midst of his severe addiction, unable to even care for himself, and she'd say "oh yes, someone IS keeping this child!" and she'd just walk off and leave the kid, of course I had to take care of her. My husband was getting the BEST of both worlds! He was getting to stay "out of it" ALL the time! He was barely able to care of himself and I was watching his kid! So, when he would "come to" himself, his most favorite prized possession would be there waiting for him, his daughter! Then he'd pass out and she'd be taken care of by ME! And, to make it even worse, I can't say that I even like the child. That IS horrible, it isn't her fault, but oh well, I feel she isn't my responsibility. She has a very capable mother!

It got to the point in April (this past April of 2011) that I told him that if he couldn't get himself help for his addiction then his daughter wasn't allowed to come over anymore. His addiction is so bad that I have now taken on ALL the bills! There is no way that I am keeping this child when he parties as he wishes! I want to add that we also have children together that are MY responsibility! I am not adding another child here while taking on all the bills and he parties all day.

Last visit with step daughter was a few days after Easter, we all went out and had a picnic, husband fell over and passed out on the ride back home. Yep, you guessed it! I was stuck with step daughter ALL day!! She ordered me around and terrorized my other children. Her father was passed out her ENTIRE visit except for about an hour! I had to drive her back home because the exes family say that if he wants to see her then I must do the driving and since husband can't stay sober enough to drive, yep I had to transport her back!!!! Again, not the child's fault. But, she HAS to be kept safe and she is safe with her grandparents.

Husband's family hate me with a passion for not taking care of the child for husband while he passes out. They get so mad at me which is a whole nother issue because husband's mom also wants me to take on husband's sisters children too! She tells me I'm you and strong and should WANT to take care of these un-fortunate children. Anyway, back to step daughter,her bio-mother won custody, but gave child to her mother. I figure if she was ballsy enough to win custody then she must deal with what she got and keep her child! Where the hell do I play into this mess? I'm not getting caught up in it! I am paying for a household and my own children!

The bio-mother has given up now, she gave the child to her mother. As I said, we haven't seen step daughter since right after Easter. Husband blames me. He has hatred towards me for it. Oh well!

I have given him an ultimatum, get help or LEAVE!

I am not going to sit around and feel guilty for not keeping his child, now if he were going to pay me to watch her while he gets high then we might talk, but it would have to be some big time money. That will never happen so I will not worry about it!

Do you blame me?