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SD is mean

newsm2011's picture

Submitted by newsm2011 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 7:53am

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So my SD who is 8 is like an international spy. She is sent to do all of the dirty work for her mother. She sits and asks me questions her mother wants to know answers to. Not only that she has gotten so disrespectful...telling me she's not my friend and me and the baby can pack our bags and leave,and that I'm a tattle tale. I am not her mother and not her firend eitherI'm an adult and she she has to show all adults respect. My husband is furious. He has spoken to her and she is still as mean as ever. I try and really just love her and and her brother, but its never enough with her. You donwhat she wants and she is happy for a moment, but usually sits and pouts all the time. My husband says he will not allow the disrespect or her and her mother (his ex wife ) to ruin our marriage. He says they will be grown and gone one day and he refuses to be alone becasue of the behavior. But, even though they are children and he is supportive I still feel really bad and sad. I don't even want to be around her. WHat do I do? W ehave no problems out of his son...he's really a sweet child, but the daughter has this loyalty to her mother and just doesn't seem to think she should have to follow any rules.WHat to do?

newsm2011's picture

Submitted by newsm2011 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 8:04am

I beleive in tough love too. And let me tell you no matter what they say or how badly it hurts my feelings I still punish her and we have house rules that have to e followed. My husband is also very firm with her, she gets spanking, but it just doesn't matter to her. She says she hates her mother , but comes to our home and raises hell there too...its crazy@!@!@!

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 8:06am

I wish I could help, I can't I go through a lot of the same things from my ss, but I wish you the best and at least you can take comfort in the fact that your DH can see what is going on and at least wants to try to help you. From reading on here you should no that DH's are not always on our side so feel lucky for that and just try to focus on your joy from your baby and the love off your ss and do your best to ignore her no matter how hard that is.

kalmolil's picture

Submitted by kalmolil on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:50am

We've just resorted to telling SD8 "tell your Mom it's none of her business" because we know that's where it's coming from.

snoopyinoz's picture

Submitted by snoopyinoz on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 11:28am

NO, the next time she asks something that BM wants to know, tell SD "If your mother wants to know, she can ask your father or I, I will not have you acting as a go between" then, the next time you see the BM tell her "If you want to know something, that is NOT a personal matter, I will be glad to answer your question, or DH will. I WILL NOT have daughter acting as a go between into adult matters, or any other matters"