Newbie going thru custody & CS Mod need advice!!!!
Need some advice from those who have already been thru all this.
We are currently petitioning for custody of SS15 & SD12. BM already got the court date moved (from what our attorney states this can only be done once). Along with DH filing for custody BM's 3rd husband and father to her 3rd child filed for custody as well. So now BM has two babydaddies filing for custody of all her kids!!!! Heehee!
Anyhow...DH and I have never been thru anything like this. What should we expect? I'm trying to get as much knowledge from real stories as possible so I can be as prepared as possible. I talk to my attorney as much as possible about this as well.
Also we have put in a mod for CS! I think that will piss BM off more than anything.
The original agreement was that DH would get skids fri 12-9 & sat 12-9 every weekend and he would carry medical and pay 160.00 weekly to BM.
Now its the skids are over every weekend from after school/work on friday to sunday after dinner. During the summer they are over quite a bit more. SD12 lived with us the entire summer in 2010 and Jan - March 2011 and SS15 is currently living with us. We still carry medical and pay 160.00 weekly of CS. We also now pay for extracurricular activities, school supplies, school fees, lunches, etc.
So anyhow...those that have been thru a custody battle with a BM and CS mod I need your stories, ideas, etc. on what to expect, do, so on!
Thanks oh so very much!
Oh honey, tighten that
Oh honey, tighten that seatbelt tight and enjoy the ride!! I have been through this twice with my ex husband for my bio kids, and am currently going through it with my new husband and my skids. It is intersting the way things play out..the biggest thing I can stress to you is patience. That being said, it would sound to me like you guys have a very good case for doing what your doing, and I am sure in the end it will work out in your favor. You need to be prepared for a whole lot of legal games, postponements, delays, etc...and she will freak about CS, trust me. Also, on a personal note, it will get very stressful and trying as things progress for your marriage..remember not to let all your time with hubby revolve around the legal battle. You need to put it into perspective from time to time and find time for each other. The ex will also try to blame you for everything, so be prepared to carry a heavy weight on your shoulders. In the end, if you guys are doing what you feel is truly best for the kids, then you have nothing to worry about. Hold on to that and think about that as you progress through this. It will get trying, and it will seem like it will never end, but it will, and I belive you will end up victorious in the end. BM has been using you guys and taking advantage for awhile, and she is just mad now becuase all her games, etc. are finally catching up wih her..been there done that. Keep your chin up, make sure not to let it affect your marriage, and being willing for a long haul. It will be worth it in the end. What state are you in btw?
We are in the wonderful state
We are in the wonderful state of Tennessee!!! (Go Vols, lol!)
We do have good case, IMO. SS15 was caught drinking at BM old house the night she married her current hubby (4th marriage). Neither of BM's kids were at the wedding. So under her care SS15 got an alcohol charge.
SS15 & SD12 have had rapidly declining grades and all teachers can attest that it is a lack of doing homework. SD12 has had to have a parent/teacher confrence at school due to behavior and had ISS for two days because of it. I called BM out in the meeting due to her constantly texting SD12 while she is at school. I told the teachers that I had seen where SD12 had been texting during school hours. BM piped in and said "well she got her phone taken away so that wont be happening anytime soon." I looked right at her and said, "your part of the problem since YOU are one of the people who text her while she is at school." Soooo I advised all there that restrictions would be put on SD12 phone and if anyone needed to contact her during school hours we would call the office and leave a message. She didn't have much to say after that.
Y'all wanna know the reason SD12's phone was taken away. She was drinking beer at her BM's house!!! Yup!
Not to mention BM's new hubby is a convicted felon for vehiclular homecide, mulitple DUI's, REVOKED license, resisting arrest, assult, battery. This is not hearsay...BM's ex hubby and my DH went to the court house and paid to have the records pulled and confirmed it.
My belt is tight and I am ready to go!!!!! BIOB (Bring It On Bitch) :jawdrop:
Good for you!! Definately
Good for you!! Definately sounds like she is in for a bigger reality check that she can even imagine. It will be long and drawn out, because that istypically how these things work..but you definately have a good case. Good for you guys...get em girl!
oh boy lol i am still going
oh boy lol i am still going through it with the BM of my SS (3) and it is extremely stressful i will tell you that much. Never an easy task. What might help you though is the fact that the children are older. They can say who they would prefer to live with and the judge will factor that in. Its very hard to go through this process because of the strain but hang in there and things will work out the way they are suppose to. Just make sure you stick with the agreement until a judge tells you otherwise. Other than that just dont do or say anything negative towards her or to her and then from there on just document anything she might do wrong GOOOD LUCK