You are here

Stepson with Autism

Masterchief's picture

Submitted by Masterchief on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 2:49pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

Hi All,

I just stumbled across this site, and wow.. I am relieved. I've kept so many things to myself, just so I wouldn't have to upset my wife. Honestly, I am relieved I can get some room to vent here. My SS is 8, and have Autism. Now, I know he's got issues, but like I tell my wife.. he plays her like a sucker, and chooses to lash out, and get angry at the most conveinient times. He doesn't clean up after himself, cloth himself, goes to a special school that is half day, and expects to call people "bitches: or "MF" and think everything is fine after his tantrum, or rage attack. It's to the point where I hate him, and I can't stand to even look at him. He has him moments of wanting to hug me and stuff, but he repulses me. I literally put my hand out, or if he hugs me unexpectedly I justbring my hands in and make my fingers stright so he feels them poke is side when he gets close. I dont want him anywhere near me.

I have 4 kids of my own, and I know they aren't angels.. but they are respectful, and loving. They are all good kids, and good students. My SS has hit all of them, and called them all names. For a while, my own kids were either afraid of him, or just didn't want to come anymore. I'm telling you, that makes me hate this little POS more than anything. I love his mother, but honestly I wouldnt even care if he was around.

BTW, yes he is on medicine, yes he has counseling, but that is NOT an excuse to be a punk all the time. Oh, and yes I do take verbal shots at him around his mother. I make sure she knows he's punking her when she lashes out at him for somethign stupid he's done. I rub it in her face as much as I can.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 5:06pm

Dude, what kind of life is that for any of you??? The boy is 8. There are a lot of years left of having him around. Really look inside yourself and picture your life for at least the next 12 to 15 years. Picture your wife's life and even the kid. Can you honestly say that your relationship is healthy and rewarding?

Masterchief's picture

Submitted by Masterchief on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 6:07pm

I totally agree, and have thought exactly that. How is my mood, or my life going to be like in.. heck 1 year from now. Unhealthy for sure. I also have to think about if I am unhappy, then that will trickle down to my own kids. That will be unfair for sure. I know they notice things sometimes, so it's already visable.

Anyway, we are going to counseling as a family (in-laws included) since they get the brunt of the boy's BS too. Even grandma feels resentment. Crazy, isn't it? Anyway, I can tell you I had a smile on my face at least today by being able to write my thoughts freely.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Sun, 04/17/2011 - 8:01pm

I'm glad you are going to counseling. It does help to get it out. Sometimes when you actually verbalize, even by writing, it is very cathartic

mom23ms's picture

Submitted by mom23ms on Sun, 04/17/2011 - 11:40pm

Do yourself and your SS a favor and leave. Seriously, callinga child who is 8 a POS especially when he has Autism? C'mon. I am a cold and heartless bitch but I even have some sort of sympathy. As a mother of a child (my own bio) with Autism, it is taught that a child like that needs love and when he/she does good they need to be told that. No one said you had to throw a freakin party because he cleaned up his dishes...BUT it is also taught that a child even though they need lots of love, they do need DISCIPLINE and they need to know that their actions are not acceptable. Fortunately my child is on the spectrum so she doesn't have the outbursts and cursing and swearing (cause it ain't happening on my watch.) And I am not saying or making an excuse for his actions because he does need discipline and both parents (you and your wife) need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline and setting rules of what is acceptable behavior and what is not.

If things don't change now, can you imagine what it's going to be like when he's a teen? If you aren't committed to helping him and parent him then LEAVE. Obviously he doesn't hate you because you said he would reach out and "hug" you. And if you are putting your hands out so when he does hug you that he feels you "poke" at him, then he senses that you don't like him (and he is just going to hate you and make your life even hell.) Shoot, I don't know if I feel sorry for you or I think you are an asshole. Seriously, I understand your frustration but putting your hands out so you "poke" an 8 year old who has been diagnosed with a disability and then referring to him as a POS. Really? Try living with 2 teenage girls who did everything under the sun (and they have no effin excuse except they are spoiled brats.)

Harsh reality...piss or get off the pot.

redmemory's picture

Submitted by redmemory on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 8:40pm

My SS4 and 1/2 is autistic and he comes up to me to try to hug me and I just feel weird and uncomfortable.. I don't really want him touching me at all, so I don't hug back, just kind of inch away and tell him to go on.. as for the POS term.. it (among others) pops into my head, but I keep it to myself. Can totally empathize..