I'm not sure what anyone else would say- but if my dh came to me and said that he wanted me to give up my child, or do a 50/50 custody split- I would be furious and probably tell him to do a flying leap.

Now that being said, I think that anytime you have young kids your relationship suffers. You have to be more creative in how you spend your time together and what you consider "time". My DH had to change his idea of what "time" was. He wanted dinner, hand holding moments. And what he has learned is- that even doing chores together makes those chores easier, more fun and a good time for us to talk. Today, we picked up dog poop together....was it the most bonding romantic time. NO, but we were able to talk and laugh and enjoy each others company. We do the grocery shopping together (which is easier for us now since our youngest is now 11) - there was a time though that we couldn't and didn't do anything together and yes our marriage about failed.

As for moving- I have found that if you play that look at what I gave up for you, that only resentment builds. the fact is that you WANTED to give up those things to get married again. But it is unfair of you to hold the move against her. And I can say this because I moved to marry my husband. He had a house, and his kids in this area. I moved my dd (whose dad was in another state), quit my job and moved away from my family. I held it against him for a long time, anytime something would come up. Then I had a light bulb moment.....and realized, that to have a relationship with him we could continue with me holding this over his head. It was a decision I made to be with him. I did not have to move, I could have said, I'm sorry but I won't date you because you live too far away. It was MY decision.

She was a full custodial parent when you married, and if those skids were your biokids, you would have to find a way to make it work. Find a way...

Yeah, asking a mother to give up custody time with her kids is a bad idea. Maybe you can hire a babysitter once a week, but don't touch the custody.

I don't understand why you have to leave your wife to spend time with your kids? Isn't that like putting your wife on the back burner? Maybe she doesn't want things to change because she doesn't know how serious you are about this marriage. Can't you change your court order visitation schedule since you moved out of state? Instead of you flying away, maybe somehow fly your kids to your house? It may not be every weekend but that way maybe it could work out that you and your wife would have a weekend or two with NO kids. I know you made a big move to be with her but by keeping your kids seperate from your wife and skids seems to be separating your life into two different lives. Then you ask her to give up her time with her little ones? She may be wondering the same- as to why you can't give up one weekend a month to stay home with her. Idk just seems to me like you are trying to keep both lives seperate and leaving your wife out of your kids lives is a big deal.

I will never understand moms that don't think that the Dad's are entitled to 50/50 custody. No matter what the age. Kids need both their parents equally and they are really shortchanging the kids. There is a reason it takes both a mom and a dad to create these kids. It takes both to raise them effectively. 50/50 should be mandatory unless there are significant problems with one of the parents. If we did that, we would have a lot less problems with CS and discipline issues with these kids. JMHO

I've always believed that kids need the stability of a place to call home - a primary residence, not a "half" home.