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SD is annoying

cenrok's picture

Submitted by cenrok on Tue, 02/15/2011 - 3:05pm

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I'm new here. My first post. SD is 10. I have been with her father for 7 years. He has two older sons (23/18) that have moved out. He has full custody during school year, and she is the apple of his eye ---> and she knows it! Everything she does is cute to him. BM has her during summer. I look forward to summer. }:) I do not believe it is my responsiblity to discipline her. Really, I don't want to discipline her, because I think it could become my responsibility completely. I was fortunate in that I raised two sons with thier Bio-dad. We didn't always agree on discipline, but right or wrong - we backed each other up. Back to the SD... she is a pretty good girl, very cute most of the time. However.... She can be loud, butts into conversations a lot, backtalks her dad loudly, farts contantly (I find that most annoying at the dinner table and when in a closed vehicle). I have asked her not to do that, but she does anyway. I raised two sons - farting is no surpise to me, but my goodness, my boys even knew better than that by age 4! One of the most annoying things is that she will look up at her dad and make smooching sounds until he leans down and kisses her on the lips. I am embarassed to have her around my friends and my kids and parents find her so annoying too. I may be rambling here, but any advice???

Lovepets's picture

Submitted by Lovepets on Tue, 02/15/2011 - 5:21pm

Crayon you are a genius!!!
Sad How bad off am I if he does 3: #'s 3, 6, and 9? :sick: And SD is only 7. We did just get 50/50 custody awarded to us this month and things are improving a little each day Smile

greengold423's picture

Submitted by greengold423 on Tue, 02/15/2011 - 9:52pm

Uh oh. Mark my DH down for #3, #5, #7, #10 and #11. I know he has a lot of serious guilt issues. He was absent from all 3 of his kids lives for a number of years due to alcohol. But he's been sober 8 years and he is a good man. But boy does he have the doormat act down pat when it comes to his kids and their BM's. (Yes, plural moms.) It's tough for sure. Mine are almost out of high school. Is it bad that I sometimes look at it as a prison sentance? Just a couple more years and they will all be off to college and he will finally be all MINE!

distorted reality's picture

Submitted by distorted reality on Tue, 02/15/2011 - 4:32pm

Oh God, you made crayon break out that dreaded (although truthful) list again, lol. Wink Take a look. It really is quite a list that speaks volumes.

Hang in there!

cenrok's picture

Submitted by cenrok on Wed, 02/16/2011 - 10:42am

Thanks for your comments... Of course things are always more complicated than whan can be typed in a couple paragraphs, but Crayon's comment "You won't discipline her but you wont' do anything "good" for her either" does hit home. Yikes... There was a time that I wanted to do everything for this family. I have always been the "care taker" type. However, nothing feels "right". I always feel on the outside. Like I've just stepped into a life I have no control over. I am just an observer. Yes, maybe it is my fault for not asserting myself more. I don't know. Like I said, I raised my two sons with their father - who passed away when my youngest was 18. I was married for 24 years. There were problems of course, but it was comfortable and made sense to me. I try very hard not to compare this family to my past family, and compete with their father to do it "my way". I treat this family with respect, the kids like me fortunately. We fish, camp, hike, etc... Which is all good stuff, but I also think kids need to get out and participate in activities with piers, like sports and 4H. But, their dad doesn't want to take the time it would involve. He is a giving man, but selfish too. I don't think he even knows how to feel guilty. I guess I've told myself enough times over the years that they are his kids, they have mothers. They don't need to fit my mold, and they will be fine. I am not thier mom, I am their dad's partner. I realize as I write this that maybe I am not doing any "good" for SD, but I hope I am not doing any "bad" for her either. And this all began with "help, my SD is annoying"! If I said anything to her dad about it, he would probably feel I was being nitpicky... As I said, he thinks she is adorable just how she is.
Meanwhile, maybe I should write a childrens book called: Living With A Stinky, Big Mouthed Princess....