Just venting....
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how the skids treat Dad like sh**.
BM has regularly sent Dad bitchy emails. One of her favorite things to do is to try and make him think that she is hardly able to pay the bills. She works fulltime and receives $1300 in cs for the 2 girls.
The girls are constantly talking about BM's recent purchases, New flat screen, new furniture etc..... Up until last week I have not gotten involved. After her latest email asking for more money, I decided to write her back. Everything I wrote was honest. I told her that we knew how they lived, and that she needed to suck it up because she was not getting any pitty from us....
I expected to get a snotty letter back from her... I did not expect the one I got from the girls. ( we have always gotten along very well ) They called me every name in the book. Told dad that I would never be family and that he was stupid for being with me! I have been more of a mom to the girls then their own! She (Bm) is a crazy lunatic most of the time! The type that always has something to yell about and she does not care where she is when she does.
For once Dad stood up for himself. (A bit late, obviously) He told the girls that he would not tolerate them treating me that way, that I have been nothing but good to them. All they could do was tell him that I was a bitch to their Mom and that they no longer want anything to do with me! (Guess it is ok for her to treat him however she wants) They refused to apologies for what they wrote. The conversation between dad and kids ended with him telling them that he loves them, but until they apologies they would not hear from him. He is now heart broken, but says he will stand strong and not give in.....
I hope that with time it all smoothes out.
Blender: I love your
Blender:
I love your signature line!!
we gave SD tickets to the
we gave SD tickets to the science center, movie passes and coupons etc - SD is like a pittbull when told no, she will hound hound hound, hope BM enjoyed 'entertaining' her kids by having to drive them all around the city going to things she didn't want to do - what she wanted was MONEY - she never asked again!!!
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Blender this is freekin hysterical and a wonderful idea!!!
GOOD FOR HIM AND YOU . I
GOOD FOR HIM AND YOU
. I have never known this feeling of being put first. I am not sure why BM would have ever thought it was OK to show the children....Trashy!! I would take it as; she knew you where right but knew this was the only way she would get out of it!! Turning it on you....She is shady!!
I'm glad that he's got your
I'm glad that he's got your back, but wish that he had been the one to write the letter.
sounds like BM is the evil
sounds like BM is the evil puppet master to these girls and has elevated them to "friend" status with her, sharing every intimate detail of how she feels slighted, etc. and making them feel obligated to profess their alliegence to her by attacking you and DH. Unfortunately there is not a whole heck of alot you are going to be able to do about this, other than hope that these girls will eventually see what BM has done.
We went through this with SD12.5. Shortly before I met DH he got a sob story from BM about how her BF was beating her, she was being evicted, had no where to go, blah blah blah... So silly DH let her rent a house that he owned. DH thought it would be good for him as she was on assistance so her housing was paid for by the County all except for 100.00 per month. So all she had to pay was 100 bucks plus utilities... well that lasted about 6 months and then she just quit paying, starting acting like a total bitch whenever asked, had the BF (who was supposedly beating her) living there, having the cops called for domestics etc. We ended up having to evict her. For a while we knew that she was playing SD like a fiddle, with her "look how mean your dad is, oh, poor me, he kicked me out (side note SD does not live with BM, she lives with BM's mom.. a whole other story!)and we started not seeing SD for long periods of time (months) DH was beside himself because he knew what was going on. But he reserved himself to the fact that the best he could hope for was that SD would remember that he truly was a good dad and that he loved her. After about a year or so, SD did come around and things are pretty good now.
At any rate I know how hard it can by when you feel like skids are being poisoned against you, but the best you can do is be the better person(s) don't play the game, let them know that you are there for them and I bet this will blow over.
How dare they tell him who
How dare they tell him who will or will not be family! You are his family too and they don't have to like it! Good for him for making that clear! I love it when I see this!
It would have been better if
It would have been better if you didn't write the letter, it never goes well when the new wife disses the old wife. However, he had your back and you saw some true colors come out of the girls that you weren't expecting.
BM showed that email to the girls to use them...to hurt you. You win next time by not getting involved. DISENGAGE.
I've made mistakes, a lot of them. I wish someone would have helped me see that there is no reasoning with an idiot BM who is hellbent on manipulation.
You are right, I shouldnt
You are right, I shouldnt have done it..... and I am sure I will make more mistakes. I was glad to see Bd step up and do something about the girls behavior. It was long overdue. My girls are grown up now, It was not easy raising my own children at times. Sk's are a whole new ballgame!
every piece of correspondence
every piece of correspondence that leaves my SO gets a thorough once over from me before it gets sent. he has a habit of making things a bit too personal, she knows how to wind him up.
you have no idea how many times she has written shit like ''you are taking food out of your childrens mouths' and he is fine wiht saying something like, well stop drinking yourself to death etc etc..
when it actually goes it normally says something like...please refer to our original agreement and if you are unhappy then i suggest you seek legal advice. thats our little way of saying fuck you bitch!
i made a promise to never ever correspond or even speak to bm. she is vile pond scum and i would rather not waste my breath.
As hard as it is to do (trust
As hard as it is to do (trust me I've written emails and they come back to haunt you)...Instead take a Xanax and give her a phone call. Trust me this sks! But you cn plead the fifth. I'm like everyone else here dealing with a "CRAZY" BM. She lies so much even the kids say she does. It's all very sad! These kids are not her priority. I carefully write what I what to say so I don't forget...then call her! It doen'nt go well but it scares her enough t backoff for awhile...Funny thing BD now tells me to call her when there are problems because I scare her....Good Luck!