Here are a few more tactics that I have seen used in my own personal experience:
1: Threats of suicide (keep in mind that the victimizer is usually too narcisstic to do such a thing- so call them out on it.)
2: " If you were to leave, I don't know what (I) would do!" Complete B.S. They "found" you, you can be sure they will seek out another.
3: "You're messing up the best thing that has happened to you in life." Look at those words carefully. "You, best, life."
The most important step in beginning to recover from this is listening to the words that they try to "use" on us VERY carefully. Some are "pros" at this. Don't fall for the "charm and praises that they mix in with these abusive words.
Last, remember it is not real. It is only meant to keep you in a certain frame of mind so that they may continue in their strife to break you down and build you back up again as what "they" want.
Exactly. Same here as well. I'm going to start calling bluff on it though and try some reversal tactics.
Example: I have a dr.'s appt. tomorrow. DH "thought" he was going to sit in with me in the room while I talked to my doctor. I told him this, "I wanted to just go back and speak with my doctor alone."
That blew him away and he became overtly "emotional" on my cell. " Well fine!!! I'll sit out in the waiting room!" Yes, he will. I'm on it. BTDT do not know how I allowed myself to fall victim to this again.
I'm working on it. The dissapointing thing is that I have not done this once, but twice in my life.
I truly can sit here and say now that being on my own, as I was and making all of my own money was the best thing I ever gave up.
Sometimes when we marry, we think it will fill that void of lonliness when in fact it causes the exact opposite.
I'll be "snapping" myself out of this over the next few months and creating an exit soon to follow. I AM able to support myself, thank god. I'll just have to move back to where I lived before to do such.
We watched a show over the weekend called, "Deadly Women." In it, a woman who had BPD and was narcissistic used her kids like pawns to get back at the father of the children. It sounded SO MUCH like our BM's manipulation that we both sat there watching the show in complete shock.
I guess we should be happy that our BM did not murder us like THAT particular BM did to that BF and SM!
Oh, yeah, I'm sure my H has some manipulative tactics as well, but he's not as good at it.
Here are a few more tactics
Here are a few more tactics that I have seen used in my own personal experience:
1: Threats of suicide (keep in mind that the victimizer is usually too narcisstic to do such a thing- so call them out on it.)
2: " If you were to leave, I don't know what (I) would do!" Complete B.S. They "found" you, you can be sure they will seek out another.
3: "You're messing up the best thing that has happened to you in life." Look at those words carefully. "You, best, life."
The most important step in beginning to recover from this is listening to the words that they try to "use" on us VERY carefully. Some are "pros" at this. Don't fall for the "charm and praises that they mix in with these abusive words.
Last, remember it is not real. It is only meant to keep you in a certain frame of mind so that they may continue in their strife to break you down and build you back up again as what "they" want.
Kind of the same thing they do in basic training.
vicous cycle * BM and the MIL
vicous cycle *
BM and the MIL both abused DH. Think about it. :?
Exactly. Same here as well.
Exactly. Same here as well. I'm going to start calling bluff on it though and try some reversal tactics.
Example: I have a dr.'s appt. tomorrow. DH "thought" he was going to sit in with me in the room while I talked to my doctor. I told him this, "I wanted to just go back and speak with my doctor alone."
That blew him away and he became overtly "emotional" on my cell. " Well fine!!! I'll sit out in the waiting room!" Yes, he will. I'm on it. BTDT do not know how I allowed myself to fall victim to this again.
I'm working on it. The
I'm working on it. The dissapointing thing is that I have not done this once, but twice in my life.
I truly can sit here and say now that being on my own, as I was and making all of my own money was the best thing I ever gave up.
Sometimes when we marry, we think it will fill that void of lonliness when in fact it causes the exact opposite.
I'll be "snapping" myself out of this over the next few months and creating an exit soon to follow. I AM able to support myself, thank god. I'll just have to move back to where I lived before to do such.
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We watched a show over the
We watched a show over the weekend called, "Deadly Women." In it, a woman who had BPD and was narcissistic used her kids like pawns to get back at the father of the children. It sounded SO MUCH like our BM's manipulation that we both sat there watching the show in complete shock.
I guess we should be happy that our BM did not murder us like THAT particular BM did to that BF and SM!
Oh, yeah, I'm sure my H has some manipulative tactics as well, but he's not as good at it.