Oh my goodness I can relate! I am due in May and when my SO ex found out she FLIPPED OUT...she has gone so far as to get a restraining order against me so I cannot even be in the house when her daughter is over for visits. All because I have emailed her and facebook messaged her. She is a physco path and manipulating their daughter (age 4) into hating me. My SO puts his daughter first and is not excited about our baby His family and my family are not excited either.

Well dh and I have THREE together. The 1st time bm found out she was nice. The second kid she was mad because it meant her cs would go down more. The 3rd she found out about on accident and cs went down again. Other than cs going down, there are no reasons for her to be upset with us havinnkids. They were never married and she is married now with a kid of their own.

Ss was excited about dd when she was born. Not so much about ds. He is extremely jealous of ds despite there being a 9 year age difference between them. Ss is distant with the our baby now. Not jealous, not excited, just nothing. My inlaws have been excited about all 3 kiddos. Mostly because they rarely see ss and they see our kids more.

Even though ss has his visitation schedule, it is 3 vs 1 here. So we don't live our lives around ss schedule. If he's here at Christmas or not doesn't matter. We do Christmas on Christmas day same every year. We have thanksgiving dinner ON TG, if ss is here or not. Ss calls me by m first name too. My kids don't. And when he talks to them he'll say something like, "dd, give this to mommy" or "mommy is calling you" instead of "txmommy is calling you". Our kids are 5, 4 and 8mths. The older 2 know that their daddy is also ss dad and that ss lives with his mommy. That's all they need to know now. As they get older I'm sure they'll ask questions and we'll answer them.

I understand your worries. Have you talked to dh about them?

DH and I each brought 2 children to the marriage and then we had 1 dd together. DH was the ONLY person whose reaction upset me. He is 15 years my senior and was 42 when dd was born. His concern was his age and not the kids and certainly not the ex wife. Personally, who gives a shit what she thinks? But she did make some rude remarks about not only me being pregnant, but also about our age difference. She was obviously jealous because she would say crap to him about robbing the cradle. I thought it was pretty funny myself. But anyway...

All 4 kids lived with us full time so we went into our marriage with the whole attitude that there were no "steps" we were just a family. My kids called dh "dad" because they were younger, but my sk's called me by my first name. Our dd always called me mama/mommy, etc. I never worried about the sk's with the baby, but do admit that there were times I had to control my own jealousy to see sd with her... and for no reason that I could really sit here and explain to you. I'm not even sure why. When she was 9 months old, the sk's had to go back to their BM 2500 miles away by court order. They didn't come back until she was almost 3. When they came back they were older (15 and 12) and didn't really want much to do with her. Now that they are grown and dd is 10, they REALLY don't want anything to do with her. SS pushes her away when she tries to hug him. SD used to come over here and get her to spend the night sometimes and then I found out that she would put my dd10 in the bedroom with sd's baby for dd to "babysit" while she would sit out in the living room on her fat ass with her friends watching "teen mom" and "jersey shore" (another reason why I disengaged not only myself but my kids).

I didn't have in-laws to worry about because they passed away before I met dh, but he did have sisters. They weren't real happy about it but they were supportive and of course they now adore dd10. But I have been blessed with some fantastic sil's. They are completely aware of the BS that sk's pull, don't agree with any of it, and in fact, they fault dh (their brother) for not making sk's more accountable when they were growing up. And my parents weren't happy about the pregnancy because I already had 2 kids and they thought that was enough, but I knew I wanted 1 more. And of course, they love(d) her as much as any of the other kids.

I know it's hard when you are just starting to go through it and you are facing all of the uncertainty, but honestly ladies, I would not trade my dd10 for anything in the world. DH does treat her differently than he does sk's, but I make up for that hands down and she knows it. She is a total mama's girl... both of my girls are.

My suggestion to you is, quit worrying about the BM and her reaction. Whatever reaction she has is going to come from jealousy anyway so it's not that important. The ex usually doesn't have any kind of contact with your child so it's kind of moot really and you are worrying yourself over nothing. And as far as the sk's go, dh is going to have to learn to watch his kids around the baby. And if he won't, then don't you be afraid to! Your responsibility lies in protecting your child... period.

Good luck...

I have two bios, my dh has one with bm, and then we have one together. We have lots of issues (surrounding ss) however the addition of our child was never a problem. The kids were 5, 4, and 3 when she was born so they dont really have any memories of any other families or time without her. BM was cool with it as she got pregnant shortly after I did. When kids were younger-ss did come home from time to time and say things like my bios werent his real sibling (as they are only steps and not half).

My inlaws have been notorious for favoring ss in the past, although not so much for the last few years. I have always been a bit bitter that they favored him over our dd who of course is also their bio grandchild. Now they dont really spend too much time with any of us so whatever. They didnt get any of the kids birthday or xmas gifts this year so at least they are all being treated the same.

I have always felt the youngest made our family complete. She wasnt planned either-but a honeymoon souvenir-for some reason that makes her even more special to know that a higher power felt we needed this child even before we realize it

We have SD19, SS14, DD18 and DD11 together.

DH was excited about our pregnancy, and sees DD11 as his only chance of raising a child and having an impact into a child's life.

DH called EX, I do not remember her reaction nor did I care. We gave her the common courtesy to tell her so she had time to adjust before the skids told her.

SD was upset because we didn't allow skids to come to the hospital after delivery. BM thought they should be there right after delivery regardless of what time it was. Personally I didn't want anyone there. My DD did not come either- but that didn't matter we were horrible for keeping her away from her little half sister.

As for holiday's. Holidays were celebrated when SKids were with us until about 4/5 years ago. DD was about 6/7 and SS no longer believed so I said Santa comes on Christmas day - DD's parents aren't divorced. So if you wake up on Christmas morning Santa will come here, if not you get gifts from DH and I.

My DD's see each other as sisters. There is no half- his kids see DD as their HALF sister.

His family has treated both my DD's as "non blood" relatives. MIL has birthday celebrations for both DH's children and DH and it's only the three of them that are there. THey/she never called us to say why don't you come this day. Whatever.... The only reason his kids help her out is they get paid. MY kids though go help their grandmother (my mother) and NEVER receive payment.

My family was excited about our pregnancy.

my SO has 2 boys --8 and 13. our baby is 10 months. but my skids live with us full time ad only see bm maybe once a year. i had some of the same concerns as you. older SS calls me by. my first and younger SS calls me both mom and my name. both my skids look nothing like my son. so its obvious that they have different moms.but the age difference is so big that older SS will be doing his own thin when our baby is growing up. your bbu will call u mom. its natural my son already says momma and knows me as mom. not my name. don't worry about that one younger SS was jealous of baby at first because he was being destructive with things at our house,- writing on baby shoes with pen, scratching into TV stand, breaktng things but now he shows a lot of love towards his little brother. my son always smile when he sees his brothers. most kids wont be mean to a baby because a baby is harmless and shows love.just enforce to your SD that she is a big sister and someone looks up to her. try saying things like "your sister or brother " rather than my baby" its shows that that your SD and baby are siblings. its very difficult not to love a baby so I'm sure yyoursd and in-laws will come to their senses once baby is here. as far as the ex/bm--++-- screw her this is your life! don't let her stress you when you're pregnant