How to say it nicely?
Ok, so my 2 SKids constantly talk about themselves. I will be sitting at the dining room table (since I no longer have my desk because of remodeling so I have very little choice) and SS13 will be doing dishes. He will just start talking to me. He will ask me questions that are odd ball. "How many stars do you think are in the solar system?" Ok, he is trying to make conversation, but I am already involved in something. My own kids I can tell them I am busy and they scurry off. If I try to say that to SKids, they give me the look of "you are not exceedingly interested in what I am saying?" or it hurts their feelings. These 2 also interrupt me and BF all the time, BF even tells them to wait until we are finished.
But how do you tell them you are just not interested in talking to them at that moment? It could just be a quiet car ride. It is like they cannot have a quiet moment! BF enjoys our quiet time. He can talk a blue streak, and he encourages his kids to talk to him. But I am so tired of listening to useless chatter from these 2.
Any ideas?
From some of the stories I've
From some of the stories I've seen on this forum, I would count my blessings if I were you. At least the boy is talking to you about normal kid stuff, and does the dishes. Kids annoy us. That's just what they do.
Make some time for them, and tell them that you need time to do things you have to do, too. Let them know that when you are at your desk (or table) that you are not available, and if they start to talk to you, ask them to give you 10 minutes or wait till you are finished.
I sympathize with you. I have 4 bios, and can tell them 'give my brain a break!' but when one of my 4 skids comes to me, many times I will just smile and nod until they finish. If any of the kids are in a mood to ask questions and I cannot entertain them at the moment, I tell them to give me a few minutes or go ask a sibling. But if possible, I try to make time for them. All 8 of them. My kids have an ass as a real dad (who is clear across the country and rarely visits). My skids have a bitch as a mom who doesn't give them the time of day when they are with her every other weekend. Someone needs to make time for them, and that's what we're here for.
You definitely have a point.
You definitely have a point. SS13 and I do have a good relationship most days.
Guess it is just hanging on me since it was a bad weekend.
thanks!
I try and listen as long as I
I try and listen as long as I can with SS. No one else but me and his dad ever let him talk. As for SD, the only thing that worked with her was walking out of the room. A few times and she finally got that I was not interested in talking about her all the time....
What I try doing with my SD10
What I try doing with my SD10 when she's hanging all over me and I need some space is tell her:
"SD10, give me 10 minutes (or 20 minutes or however time you think you need) and I promise to give you my undivided attention (or I'll play this game with you, or I'll (insert request here) for 1/2h an hour)".
This works wonders because she can go off happily, entertain herself knowing that I'll spend time with her in exactly 10 minutes or however long I've told her. She lives in exacts.
If I'm vague and say "SD10, can you let me be for a bit, I need some space", no matter how nicely I say it, this hurts her feelings because her love language is "Quality Time" (Read the 5 Love Languages, this book changed my life) and she thinks I don't love her because I don't want to spend time with her.
Make sense?