Get out while I can or stick it out?
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Been dating bf for 3 months. I encouraged him to start having his daughter around more. Now all it seems like we are doing is housework/repairs or family stuff. So I suggested that next weekend we just go away for the day just the 2 of us. No kids, no pets, no housework just us. Hopefully this will work to reconnect us. After 3 months the happy joyus feelings shouldnt be ending should they??
After 3 months the happy
After 3 months the happy joyus feelings shouldnt be ending should they??
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one wouldn't think so, but only you truly know your relationship.
every relationship has it's up and downs but IMHO if you are asking whether you should stay or go then maybe you should go as it sounds like your downs are outweighing your ups?
Remember every minute you waste is a minute in your life that you will never get back. Are you willing to stay and look back 6 months from now and say that you are glad you did? Or will you look back and say I just wasted 1 year of my life?
I know how hard it is to admit defeat and walk away but YOU need to make the decision that is best for YOU! Best wishes
The signs are always there.
The signs are always there. Listen to your instincts. Mine have never failed me.
Thanks for the advice. I
Thanks for the advice. I stayed too long in my last relationship and told myself I wouldnt do it again. It was always well lets just get thro the next few months or thro the holidays and yea things went up and down like every relationship but always came back to it. With happy and saddness I ended that relationship over a year ago. I always am the one to do anything for anyone but i always get hurt in the end. I told the new bf that I will not let his kids control my life. I will make them part of it, but after the oldest blowing us off twice in the last 2 weeks to stay with BM we are both done with it. He said he's done with her using us as a convience and i totally agree with him. So we will continue on with our lives and where ever she fits in she will. Its only been 2 months of her being back in his life after a year apart and already she is back to her old ways of choosing BM over him cause she bribs her. One day at a time right?!?!
My first thought was to say
My first thought was to say get out now. At 3 months into the relationship, I think you're already in deeper than maybe you should be. I do realize everyone has different timelines but I don't think it's doing you any favors to be so into this at this point.
Do the two of you live together? I hope not, for your sake. I think you can make the relationship work in a good way if you take it slower than it seems you are taking it now. Date him, but keep a somewhat separate identity, ya know? Don't become "we" so fast, so that you don't feel you are at a point where it's too late to get out.
Why wasn't your boyfriend a part of his daughters life before you encouraged it? That would be a red flag for me. Also, if she's blowing him off, it seems he may be validating her reasons if he has giving up after 2 weeks of her choosing her mom over him.
Good luck to you either way.
Thanks Old Dart. Sometimes I
Thanks Old Dart. Sometimes I think I want a family so badly that i will make anything work. I dont have any children of my own. His daughter and I dont have issues when she is here. She loves and respects me. Its the not going to school, saying she has no homework, blowing us off to stay with BM that bugs me. Not much I can do if bf isnt willing to make an issue over it. As most of us being with others children say....things would be a lot easier if BM wasnt around or at least everyone on the same page.
None of those signs are my
None of those signs are my bf. He's the firm one, the strict one. The BM is the one that gives their daughter whatever she wants.
No co sleeping he even made my dogs sleep in their crates and not the bed...lol
He's a good dad who has been hurt in the past by her and the BM and is afraid of going down that path again.
Maybe my issues are more with him as a person and have not so much to do with his children