Is this the life I want is it worth it????

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Hi everybody. LIke so many of us on here I have a issue with the partners ex wife. Quick run down is that we used to be friends and I was never interested in her husband lets get that straight right now! She was never happy about anything he did although he did so much for her I offered to do husband swap as mine really sucked. Anyway everyone split and went their sepperate ways, we ran into each other and started to date... 3 years later we have bought a house together and seem very happy, we have 5 boys between us 3 his 2 mine. But EVERY 3 MONTHS she gets bored and miserable with her life and tries to ruin us. She threatens to move away and make it hard to see his kids. She rings and says he has to leave me to see his kids again ect. I do not speak to this woman (i use the word loosley)at all I dont even show my face when she is dropping the kids off I stay quiet in the background when she calls. She has previously broke into the house and beaten me up and punched my partner in front of his boys.
They are divorced which she pushed for and took the house ect, but says she will never stop trying to break us up. I need help tp decide if I want this type of life or do I move on? I really really really love this man and have already put up with so much from her I just dont know if I want to continue. I do not want to hurt my kids and move house AGAIN but I dont want to feel insecure every 3 months. It puts alot of strain on our relationship. We dont really fight unless it is because of her and the rest of the time all is great. All the kids love each other and get along great. What should I do?? I have never been happier with anyone before and I mean anyone. I would like to get married one day but I think he is so worried about what she will do he says no not yet if ever!!!

Is there a Court Order on

Is there a Court Order on visitation, if not, you need to get one. I would start documenting everything. If she broke into your house and abused you and your partner, get copies of the police reports. You could use it show the judge that she is unfit and abusive person.

The BM of my first husband tried to prevent him from seeing his kids, and because he actually had custody of the kids he was able to get the state police to go with him to her house and get the kids.

Don't let her dictate your life.

I went to the police when she

I went to the police when she did this but I did not go ahead and have her charged as I did not want to make things worse for us. I was hoping she would settle down and get over it. I also have a stupid ex but after having me charged for slapping him after he called me a slut in front of my kids him not punching him I dont have much faith in the police force.
Back to her she has put her self in hospital to get sympathy and tried to kiss him whenever she can my partner now stands 1-2 mtrs away from her. He says he has made his decision and it is to be with me, I just dont know if I believe it.

And no he has never gone to court to sort out the kids he just keeps giving her the benefit of the doubt..... stupidly!!

Umm, have you called the

:jawdrop: Umm, have you called the police on this woman yet? Breaking into your house, beating you up, calling all the time. Documenting this behavior is your best option. Record all the crazy behavior, and threats. Call the police EVERY time she is violent in any way, or shows stalkerish behavior (calling excessivly). Get the law involved here.

It may not be too late to

It may not be too late to press the charge. Check it out. That was a mistake.

Otherwise the life you describe sounds like its worth fighting for. I'd hang in there and in partnership with your husband figuratively beat this woman into the ground.

Keep logs, videotapes, conversation and phone tapings. Check with your attorney so you don't break any laws. Then use them to file criminal complaints or to obtain a order of protection.

There is nothing like the red eye of a video camera or the beep on the telephone (indicating a recorder) to soften a person.

Thanks I agree that it is

Thanks I agree that it is worth keeping our relationship. Im very catious of upsetting her as I wrote previously my ex got me in alot of trouble over nothing and I have a good behaviour bond and an avo not to intimidate my ex I weght 60kg not very scary. But she knows this as the two ex's talk and she threatens to get me in trouble with this and get an avo against me which wont look good. It all just sh*ts me so much. We talked last night and have agreed to stand up to her and deal with her as best we can. :?

Thanks I agree that it is

I see you are in Australia.

I see you are in Australia. Gidday, I am from NZ but live in the USA.
In some areas the ex wife is still the wronged party despite the provocation etc.

So here is what I would do. When she threatens not to let your SO see the kids he says "You do that and I will take you to court."
She threatens you "You come near me and I will see you in court."

She is a bully who wants her own way. IS it worth fighting for? Yes. Is it worht putting up with crap every 3 months? Sure.

And if she is hitting/puching/assulting your SO in front of his kids, he needs to call the police.

And just reiterate to the kids that you both love and care about them and violence is NOT the answer.

Basically call her bluff. Or you can let me know where she lives. I still have relatives in NSW believe it or not.

G'day mate LOL. Yes she is a

G'day mate LOL. Yes she is a bully you got that right. We both agree that she just wants to call all the shots. She is realising that he has chosen me over her and the kids is all she has left to bargain with.
She is doing her best to get them to hate me and show me no respect but its only working with the eldest who is 9 the others like me. I understand they dont want to hurt their mother.
He IS worth fighting for as my life is great and I am very happy with him he is my best friend.
It is just exhausting.
Thanks for the offer!!

You are here

Is this the life I want is it worth it????