Don't touch that, leave my stuff alone!!!
I would like to know how you guys feel about situations like this. I kind of saw a similar topic a while ago and it made me think of these situations. Sorry this is so long but I gotta get the point accross.
When SD6 would come over (we now do things at MIL's) she had no respect for any of my things. You had to watch this kid like a hawk, because she had no respect for boundaries what so ever.
Now, I'm the kind of person who doesn't purchase many nice things for myself. It's a real treat when I "splurge" on an item for me.
I did have this can of hair mousse. My hair is very thin and I've always had trouble trying to find something that actually worked to give me some volume. I did however, cave in and purchase a more expensive can of salon brand product that my hair stylist had used one time. I didn't do my hair every day, maybe a couple times a week because I wanted to have the can last for a while, and "treated" myself to using it since it was a little pricey. Well, one day SD6 had went to the bathroom by herself, which she rarely would voluntarily do, and was in there for a curiously long time. I knocked on the door and asked her if she was done and if I could come in. No answer. Knocked again, still no answer so I came in. She had gone through the bathroom drawer, and she was sitting on the counter dispensing alllllll my mousse down the sink. AHHH! I was like "what are you doing?! That's very expensive and you are being wasteful!" She just looked at me, then she saw I was obviously upset, she knew she was wrong, then started crying and ran over to DH where of course she got coddled. DH's reply: she didn't know any better.
YEAH RIGHT! Are you serious?! I said you need to tell her that was wrong, and she cant just go through other people's things without permission.
Another instance: SD6 in the bathroom alone again, because she hadto "#2". Okay, so was in there for a long time again. Same thing as before, knock and no answer. I went in to see she had taken off the cap to my NOT CHEAP perfume and had spilled it all over the counter and the floor. An almost full bottle, ALL gone. Again same reaction from her, looked at me when I caught her and she went crying to daddy.Of course, he coddled her again. I told dh "that's it, this is rediculous. This girl knows the difference between right and wrong and she needs to know there are consequences." So he was like "Now, SD6 that was wrong, you shouldnt have done that"
Are you kidding me? No time out? No taking a toy away? I was so pissed I left for the rest of that day.
Fast forward to the next visit. I usually do my makeup in the bathroom after I get out of the shower and am dressed. Whenever I did my makeup and SD6 was there she wanted to use my make up too. First of all, I don't share my makeup for a.)sharing bacteria and b.) even "cheap" make up is expensive! I told SD6 she couldn't use the makeup I had but I had picked her up some of her own at the store (which I had at the family dollar). Well, she was not happy with this. She started whining that mine was better than hers and she wanted to use what I was using. I explained to her when she grows up and makes her own money she could buy whatever kind she wanted to, and that I was dissapointed she wasn't more appreciative of what I had bought for her. So she sat there and sulked, whatever..When I was done I went to go get my socks and shoes on, came back in the bathroom and the little shit had put smeared my lipstick all over her face, and had broken off a huge peice of my eyeliner into the sink. OMG!!!! I couldn't believe it. Again, same stupid blank look on her face, I told her to get out of the bathroom, of course went crying to dad. I told him what happened and said I was going out, to give me a call when he diciplines her for being bad and that his daughter needs to learn some manners and stop ruining my things.
Have any of you had this issue with any SKIDS blatantly doing things you tell them not to do and ruining your things?
Yes mam...my BF 10 yr old
Yes mam...my BF 10 yr old daughter gets into all my things...either taking them or ruining them. Makeup, razors(which she should not be allowed touse at her age and maturity level anyway), shampoo, ect...I buy her her own too and she either destroys it or loses it and she still get into mine. She snoops through all of things too and no one says anything to her about it. I don;t have any advice but I do feel for you cause I know how frustrating it is.
(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
Ah thankyou, big hugs right
Ah thankyou, big hugs right back to you!
I just couldn't believe DH's reaction to all of it. It's like the little bugger did it just to get attention from DH that she shouldn't have been getting for doing something bad!
He would say to me, "Oh DH, it's just hair product, oh DH, it's just makeup." No, it wasn't "Just" these things. They are MY things, not hers. She shouldn't have just had free reign of everything in our home because she's a SKID. Regardless of the price of the things she ruined, they were my possessions and the fact that he didn't back me up still pisses me off...obviously lol
After years of my sd
After years of my sd pilfering through my things I ended up locking a lot of things away. But the bathroom drawer where I used to keep my makeup and hair supplies didn't have a lock. So after 99% of my things being lost, destroyed, and stolen I decided to teach her a lesson. At the time she was 19 so no small children were injured. Knowing how she waited until I got something new to replace what she had taken I bought some very expensive makeup and made sure to show everyone and talk about it. Then I acted like I was putting it in the drawer, it was really just the bag with some paper stuffed in it. Sure enough she sneaked in to the bathroom while everyone was in the family room watching a movie. We were sitting there watching the movie when we all hear a loud snap and a scream. Yes I had put the bag on top of a rat trap and boy did I catch a big one. Both my she and my husband were mad but she never went in my bathroom again or touched anything of mine.
I love this idea as well. And
I love this idea as well. And I agree, it is pitiful that it takes something like this for them to learn
I bow to your superior
I bow to your superior discipline style. Too bad the trap did not catch a finger to add the reinforcement of some pain to the lesson. }:)
Awesome....I will have to try
Awesome....I will have to try this.
NO, well, not since the
NO, well, not since the stealing incident..
how do these skids not understand DON'T TOUCH what doesn't belong to you with out permission?
i LOVE the rat trap idea.....
Time to blister some bare kid
Time to blister some bare kid ass since DH won't step up as a parent.
Let him know after you put some nice rosey red blush on her little butt cheeks that if he does not like how discipline then he better step up and discipline before you have to.
She is 6 not 2,3 or 4. She is in 1st grade not preshool. Dumping your mousse and perfume down the sink and destroying your make up is not cute kid mistake and was not an accident or innocent kid play. She was destroying something she knows full well you value and that she knows full well she was not to touch.
Remember, you are an equity parent and that includes discipline.
After three incidents of the same behavior it is time to BBQ some kid butt.
IMHO of course.
Best regards,
as much as i would love
as much as i would love nothing more than to give her a good spank on the rear or smack on the wrist for disobeying, DH would not accept me enforcing physical discipline on the kid so i'm kinda stuck when it comes to that
I have to agree she knew what
I have to agree she knew what she was doing plan and simple.
On another note this will make you laugh. I was cleaning and had all the kids helping my youngest ss was about 5 at the time. He was "cleaning the bathroom" he wanted to clean that room why i don;t know but ok. I knew I would have to go back and redo it. I went in there and smelled my expensive perfume really strong. I was very mad and they all knew it and no one was fessing up so I smelled all their hands and ss5 had it all on his. I was fuming. He was scared that he was trouble so he didn't say anything to me. Later my dd came up to me and said that ss5 wanted to clean the mirrors in the bathroom and thought it was what he was supposed to clean them with. I felt bad after that, I knew he had no idea it wasn;t glass cleaner as they had no idea what cleaning was anyway since bm never taught them those things.
haha that is quite amusing!
haha that is quite amusing! your situation, an honest mistake, i would still be upset at the situation but not the kid. With what happened with me yes, she knew exactly what she was doing was wrong when she did it, and had no remorse for what she did either. She just wanted to run to "daddy" to get attention. Little turd...
LOL...OMG...I swear if I hear
LOL...OMG...I swear if I hear her say "Daddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" one more f***ing time I am going to scream
}:)
Haha, it's like nails on a
Haha, it's like nails on a flipping chalkboard isn't it?!
Try hearing it from a
Try hearing it from a freaking 16 y/o female, who has a part time job, drives, dyes her hair, shaves all her body parts, and keeps her panties on her bedroom floor!!! Talk about nails on the chalkboard!! Ugh!!! "Daddddyyyyy, I want some fruit! Take me!!!" WTH
(No subject)
:sick:
I locked my master bedroom
I locked my master bedroom also and would not have hesitated to lock "my" bathroom if it was necessary.
Tell Dad to use the other bath when the kid is around. Inconvenient? Tough.
Rags, she did get a broken
Rags, she did get a broken finger. I meant that no small children were hurt. I've had to booby trap most of my possessions to protect them from her. At least now she is out of my house and not likely to return anytime soon.
I am good with those
}:)
I am good with those consequences for a 19yo.
Good for you.
Best regards,
After SD8 poured fingernail
After SD8 poured fingernail polish remover all over My daughter's new dresser I no longer allow her in anyone's room but her own. DH tried to fix new dresser and made things worse so now my BD has to have someone repair DH's damage. Neither one of them have remorse for the dresser and it was part of a suite which happened to be the first thing she bought on her own and had alot of sentimental value before damage..now she never mentions it at all.
SS12 picks his nose until it
SS12 picks his nose until it bleeds. Well, he did this in my son's bedroom, on his bed. When I got home from work, I found blood all over the bed, the stuffed animals, the night stand, and in the bathroom. He also took all my books off the bookshelf (in my son's room) and had them strewn all over the room, some with the covers bent back and ruined. I locked my son's room so he couldn't get back in. I told DH that if he behaves that way, he should only stay in his room. DH said that we all live in the home together and SS12 can go anywhere he wants and if that's the case, my son can't get in our bed together during the night and wet it. (My son still has problems wetting the bed. He's only 5.) DH always turns it around when I complain about SS12. SS12 should not be allowed anywhere but in his own room. He DESTROYS everything. But DH won't back me up.
I have the same problem!!!
I have the same problem!!! SS10 and SD8 REFUSE to use their own bathroom. They INSIST on showering in the master bathroom because there was a spider in their shower two months ago. I have since disinfected their entire bathroom, while they watched. But they still want to use my shower, with my expensive shampoo, conditioner, and soap. They still leave their dirty towels, underwear, and clothes all over the floor. DH doesn't do anything because it's "funny." It was funny the first time. Now, it's irritating. I would LOVE to be able to just lock our door and tell them to forget it, but DH and I both work out of the house and our office is attached to our bedroom so they are constantly in here bugging us because that's where we live. We did move all the snack foods into a cabinet in our room and it's amazing how much longer they last when they have to come up and ask for them! And the rat trap idea? LMAO I can't wait until they are old enough for me to do that with the stuff in my bathroom drawers!
Tofurkey, I don't like SS12
Tofurkey, I don't like SS12 touching anything that belongs to me or my two sons because he destroys everything and doesn't care. He doesn't have respect for anyone's belongings. His father doesn't back me up. If I complain about his son's behaviour, he says my son does the same thing or worse. He will not concede that his son shouldn't touch things that don't belong to him. I will never have anything nice or pretty because of SS12.
I'm going to have to agree.
I'm going to have to agree. We went from borrowing stuff, borrowing and not returning, asking Dad to use my stuff (because she knew I'd say no), to taking it without permission (when he starting saying "ask ThatGirl", to stealing and taking things to her Mom's, to having to lock doors, to broken door jambs and window screens (to get around locked doors), to shoplifting. This progression only took a couple of years.
Yeah well I did buy her her
Yeah well I did buy her her own stuff, wasn't good enough for her. She can be curious all she wants, just not with my things. Not RUINING my things. Things that yes add up, because we all know that perfume and makeup and hair product costs can add up and on a very fixed income is very important to me, and her being happy that she can go through my things and ruin them quite frankly is NOT more important to me. She has her mother to play that game with. She was told time and time again to not do what she was doing, had a blatant disrespect for my things, so her getting upset over not being able to screw with my belongings means nothing to me.
**AGREE**
**AGREE**
SD is 6 as well, and I Cannot
SD is 6 as well, and I Cannot imagine her doing stuff like that to MY STUFF... but what I am having more of a hard time imagining is DH supporting her... hell no, he'd be spanking her little behind if she went to my room and broke/spilled something of mine... I give her my old makeup that I don't use, and she is always appreciative, which I'm glad!!!
The destructive little monster in my house is my three year old son, he is always pouring out my nail polish remover, hair products, lotions, puts perfume/cologne on... he has painted my mirror with nail polish, has ruined some of my makeup... ughhhh... so annoying... he never learns... :?
Oh and by the way, if I ever
Oh and by the way, if I ever give something like that to SD and she makes it seem like is "not good enough" --- TO THE TRASH, in front of her-- It will teach her how to appreciate material things and be grateful.
Your DH needs to learn that a 6 year old SHOULD know better. My son SHOULD know better (age 3) but he keeps repeating the same old annoying destructive stuff... That doesn't mean that I will coddle him and make excuses for it. His behavior, even at age three is old and WRONG, and he gets time out when he breaks something like that. I have also thrown away some of his cars (in front of him, but then I take them out of the trash when he is not looking and hide them). If you ruin my lipstick, I will trow it in the trash so he can feel how bad it is to have something that belongs to you to be broken or spilled...
My wife, son and I went to
My wife, son and I went to dinner last night to celebrate the Skids score on the ASVAB and qualifying for Linguistics.
I went to the rest room while at the restaurant. When I went in a ~6yo little boy finished washing his hands then stood at the paper towel dispenser waving his hand in front of the sensor, tearing off the towel and tossing it in the trash. While I was washing my hands he probably threw away 40ft of towel.
He did not stop until I walked up behind him and said. "I hope you are having fun and that there is enough for me to dry my hands." He laughed, swiped the sensor one more time and handed me the paper towel, laughed and said "It is fun, here you go, there is enough." Unfortunately he was having so much fun it made me laugh and he just giggled when I said "now, I hope there is enough for everyone else who needs one."
He went on to tell me about his soccer game. :?
He missed the point and I screwed up the lesson by laughing at his mischievous joy.
Sometimes kids don't think about what they are doing. Especially 6yo's.
While in some situations I
While in some situations I may agree, she was told repeatedly not to do what she was doing. That first time she was told it was wrong and not to do it, she could no longer use ignorance as an excuse. At 6, she had the common sense to comprehend what "no" means.
Kay, It sounds like you have
Kay,
It sounds like you have a couple of young men who could use an ass whoopin.
When they throw things, stand on laptops, etc.... drop their drawers and blister their butt cheeks. That aught to get the message across to treat other's stuff with respect.
If they are in your home then you can discipline and it sounds like with these ill behaved disrespectful little shits that corporal punishment should be a primary form of discipline.
Have fun. }:)
OMG i would have blown my
OMG i would have blown my top....Yeah, i'm sorry but your things are your things and in no way should anyone condone a child to be disrepectful of other people's belongings. It made me want to take DH's expensive cologne and dump it down the drain and when he flipped out i would just say "well it's apparently okay for sd, why not for me?"
Constantly... Soo I used to
Constantly...
Soo I used to play this trading card game called Magic: The Gathering right? Well in August I ended up in the hospital for almost a week from a mountain biking accident resulting in a traumatic brain injury.. Multiple skull, orbital and facial fractures, a brain bleed, lost a front tooth, etc.. So while I was in the hospital I had my fiancee bring a box of Magic cards from storage to the hospital so we could have something to do, I taught her how to play Magic..
Well now the cards reside at her house (which I live in as well) and several of these cards that I have are vintage and in really exceptional condition for their age and range in price to replace from $20-$200 a piece. (kay, I'll move on from the nerd issue here)
My fiancee enjoys the game, we play casually at home. I've started purchasing needed single cards off of eBay and what not, and I've literally taken them out of the envelope they were shipped in, put them on the table, and within minutes of me turning my back they're bent or folded or have a huge dent in the side, I've told the step daughter (5) NOT to touch these cards and that when she was old enough I'd give her her own cards to play with and teach her how to play if she'd like..
Of course nothing for a 5 year old step daughter is enough so she continues to eff with my stuff constantly and I have to keep anything nice that I own very far away from the child's sights..
I'm afraid to keep moving any of my nice things in for fear of them being DESTROYED by a 5 year old girl that has NO VALUE IN ANYTHING AND HAS ZERO RESPECT EVEN FOR HER OWN THINGS!
Drives me nuts, I'm a modest living young gentleman that works his ass off for everything he has, and takes meticulous care of everything he owns because since I can't afford much I have to take extremely good care of the things I do own and love to keep them nice so I can keep them for a long time and when I'm done pass them on to someone that will respect and enjoy them as much as I did... Something that this child will NEVER understand. I could try to teach her but since her real "Daddy" is a trustafarian (trust fund baby, his Daddy is multi-millionaire rich... Denver country club $800,000+ dollar a year membership to a country club RICH... She'll never value anything, her Dad doesn't.