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wittsend's picture

Submitted by wittsend on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 2:52am

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Adult Stepchildren

:? I have been married for 15 years and have 2 stepchildren, both in their 30s.
Although they had opportunity for a good education, they do not work and live of their parents. My husband and I moved across the country; a year after, my husband former wife moved a couple of hours from us (???). My stepdaughter recently moved to my area to live with her mother, who is on her 70s, but can't stop working... My stepdaughter is beligerant, disrespectiful and blatantly threatening to me. When she is in my house, I have to lock my bedroom door concerned of what she can do. Although my husband is a good men, he does not discipline his children. I recently put my foot down and said no more. I don't want my SD in my home, she states whe will be coming, weather I permit it or not. As she is associated with thugs, etc., what can I do to protect myself? Can I get a restraining order, so she cannot come to my home. She says it is her father home, so she can come anytime. My husband, can't say no to her. Unless I leave my home, I don't see any other solution. I own my home (I always made more $$$ than him) and do not want to live in fear or leave it so my SD can move in. What do to?
Thanks,

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 6:16am

Since it is your house, you can tell your DH you don't want her there--but are you prepared to take that stand? If she threatens you verbally you can get a restraining order, I believe.

momoutofhermind2's picture

Submitted by momoutofhermind2 on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 7:25am

You moved ACROSS the country and she followed? that's just a little much. Did she ever say why?

I would just move and avoid the BM and SD....hehehe.

No, but really, I would tell your DH that you are serious about not wanting your SD in there and why. But, when you do it, you have to have a good reason/s why b/c he's not going to just tell her to stay away. If she's hangin with friends that are bad it could turn bad depending on how bad they are and what she wants to do. If any of that does turn bad you can get a restraining order and press charges. If you feel like she will try and harm you, you can get an emergency restraining order to prevent it from happening. I think the emergency one is temp until you go to court to get the reg. one (I THINK!) I would call and see what you could do now, but talk to your DH, b/c w/out backup from him, it's gonna be a fight.

stepgin's picture

Submitted by stepgin on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 11:26am

I'm sorry that you're going through this! I know what you all mean about these entitled adult children. Frankly, since you are rather afraid of her, I would tell hubby that and that you don't want her in your home unless you both invite her. Why these people have no boundaries is beyond me. Now that they are adults, they should be supporting themselves and not hanging out, mooching off their parents. I would have a long heart-to-heart with hubby and let him know how you feel and that your relationship should come first. Then I would invite the worthless daughter over for dinner so both of you can go over the new ground rules.
My SS32 is supposed to move out 10/1 (he better!) but I know my husband will expect him to keep access to our condo. He knows the key code to get in and will try to use it when he has his kids for the weekend when we’re not there since our place is so much better. More fun things to do, etc. THAT will NOT happen. I’m removing the batteries so he can't get in through the garage and he doesn’t have a key to the front door. If he got in after being warned, I would not hesitate to invite him to leave. If he didn’t do so, I would call the police. Whether my DH liked it or not.