I am sorry, I would have to leave.. Your husband just showed or told you what he thinks of you.. Basically showing you the same disrespect his son is at 27.
I think I would tell him that you will leave, but that you will have to sell the house and split everything 1/2 and then him and his son can go live in an apartment..
Screw that.. Why shoud you put up with that crap.
On the other hand I would be a witch and do things only for myself. Laundry sorry you don't have any clean laundry.. O'well I do. Food your hungry guess you better go find soemthing in the fridge..
WOW.. A lot of nerve. I would either stay or go. if you stay start doing things for you and only you.. Forget them overgrown babies.. If you go you might find being alone may be just what you really want..
Sorry for being cold I cannnot believe that you both retired and now this 27 year old KID wants to move in with you too.

Peace.. and calm feelings to you..
happy

I wish i had something to offer you here. Your husband seems very harsh about all this by telling you "if you don't like it you can leave". I cannot tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I would not tolerate that crap. His son is old enough to take care of himself and if he cannot do that, he is NOT your responsibility. If you husband insists on bailing him out every time, the kid will never stand on his own. he will keep coming back to your doorstep. God's word gives warning to this type of parenting: "If you resuce him, you will have to do it again." The fact that he is disrespectful to you is the icing on the cake for me. If your husband cannot understand what you are expressing, maybe HE should leave. He can get a place with the problem child and they can live happily ever after. I don't know if your husband sincerely meant that comment or if he is just "testing" you but it sounds VERY disrespectful to you and "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree." Personally, i would not let that "kid" into my house. Where is the BM in all this? Why doesn't he go stay there? Is it because she has had enough and won't help him? Enabling is not the answer for your stepson. Hell, if he is always going to be rescued, he has no motivation to behave any different. He never has to be responsible or accountable.

I wish I had a magic wand for you. You are in a tough position. Maybe if he actually does move back in, your husband would at least be willing to lay down some ground rules.....like he HAS to help with chores, groceries, etc etc and he HAS to be respectful to you. No exceptions on that last rule !!!

Good luck

I wouldn't do his laundry either.... Take the wet clothes out of the washer...pile then somewhere out of your way...and continue on.

I don't think I could live with someone who gave me that kind of ultimatum...'don't like it leave' MY GOD...its YOUR home too. Apparently your husband couldn't care less.........what you do..or how you feel...

Money is always tough....if you had the means would you go?

I don't think I could ever forgive....that 'leave' comment...
Boy .... that would play over in my head so often...I wouldn't be fit to live with..

He & son would have to 'hit the road' to get away from me!!!!!!

I basically agree with everyone else. Like Janice said, you're not going to lose any respect from either of them by telling them bluntly how you feel. You tell me if I don't like it, I can leave...do you really understand what that means to me? It means you have no respect for me and that my feelings don't matter. This is MY house too, and I DO have a say in what happens here...and if YOU don't like that, then THIS isn't working. I'm not trying to tell you what you should do, only what I would do given the information that you've given us. I really hope that things work out for the best for you. Please keep us updated!

Also, I just wanted to add...this "kid" is several years older than me, and I would never dream of moving back in with my parents. I've been on my own and independent for several years, and that's the way I like it. Moving back to the parents' isn't even an option. I am grown, on my own, in a serious relationship...hearing about "kids" like this just blows my mind!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Your house, your rules. If they can't treat you with respect, then they need to get out.

~ Anne ~

OMG what's with these men and not making their adult sons grow the heck up. I'm going through similar drama with my 19 year old step son but I'm not the one who will be leaving. I thought I might then I said to myself NO WAY they can both leave if that's how they want it.

I agree with Anonymous. This is your house too. I don't know where you live but I live in Louisiana. If I filed for divorce I can make my H leave the house if I wish. I gave this advice to someone else earlier. Your H has made his position perfectly clear. Get a lawyer, know your rights and tell your H that he and his son are welcome to each other. I know this sounds harsh and it is scary to be on your own but I think the relief you will feel from all this stress and hassle will be tremendous.

Hugs...

OMG --- i just can't imagine what you are going thru..... just cemented my plans to freaking make no room in the house for skids after the 18th bday and getting a trained attack dog in case they don't get the message--- couch if they come over and get drunk or something, but no tooth brush or any other personal items... i'm sure i sound like a total bitch, but there is no way i am letting an adult skid ruin the rest of my life, kinda screwed while their minors..

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I agree with the general consensus that you do not need a husband who chooses his son over you but you should not give either one of them the satisfaction of leaving the house. Let him file for divorce and give you half of everything, sell the house (as others have suggested) and make those two lazy men fend for themselves. On the other hand, I am sure this is taking its toll on you emotionally so try to seek out friends and family who are supportive and move forward with a peaceful life that you deserve. Good Luck and keep us posted...