Feeling Guilty for Saying No to Having Skids

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A couple of months ago, I booked some vacation time for the week leading into Labor Day. My fiance and I are supposed to spend the days leading up to the Friday of the long weekend alone at our trailer. He is supposed to pick up the skids on Friday afternoon and keep them for the long weekend. We are in Canada, so school doesn't start till Tuesday, September 6th. I have been looking forward to this all summer.

Last night, BM asked is he would pick up the kids a day early - on Thursday. My fiance said he would get back to her. He asked me, and I said no and pointed out that we booked this week for the two of us. I then felt like such a bitch to deprive him of the extra day with his kids. However, he has spent a fair bit of time with them this summer, and he had them up to the trailer by himself a couple of weeks ago. If I wanted to spend my vacation time with the skids, I would have booked that week off instead. He let it go, but I have been struggling with it, feeling so guilty. Now, today when I look at the calendar, I realize that the Thursday we are talking about is his youngest's birthday. I feel doubly crappy, but I still don't want to give up that special relaxing time we have together when the skids aren't around. If you remember from a previous post, I stated that the skids don't have a clue how to entertain themselves, so it will be just an extra day of cling-ons.

How would the rest of you have handled this?

Me too. But I'm another

Me too. But I'm another fairly non-popular voice.

He gets to see you every day. I can't imagine not getting to see my children every day. I would want to take advantage of every possible moment if I were a non-custodial parent.

Excellent!

if dh is ok with it, i would

if dh is ok with it, i would let it go and go on about my business... however, i can't recall when i have ever felt guilty about skipping out on skid time....

on the flip side, is dh going to pout about and ruin your vacation time??

don't feel guilty. This will

don't feel guilty. This will pass. Maybe make it up to him soon and have a extended week and do something special with the skid.

i agree with all those that

i agree with all those that say don't worry about it. if your Dh really wanted to see his son he would have made special arrangements to be with him before your trip. it would have been a slap in the face to have to take skids on your special adult only weekend. there are always other weekends for the skids...adult alone time is extremely important because as all stepparents out there know our relationships are very stressful and there needs to be a time we know it's all about us. regular nights are plagued with work stress and normal day to day stress, and skid stress. there needs to time just the 2 of you where there is no outside distractions. i say go enjoy your vacation!

Thanks for all the advice

Thanks for all the advice ladies!

I just want to make sure folks understand that I am not trying to deprive my SO of time with his children. If it were a regular week and this happened, I would have said yes, regardless of how I really felt about it. But it is our vacation! Something I am really looking forward to.

I'm wondering if those of you who think I should welcome the skids regardless of whether or not it's my vacation have really great relationships with their skids and look forward to each and every visit.