I'm not sure if it's my fault
We just said goodbye to DH's three kids on Friday evening. Two days before, we attended a pee-wee football game with all the kids. When we got back that night everyone had a nice collection of mosquito bites. My SD 7 had a nice one on her forehead and a couple other places including near her girl parts. This was told to me by SD 12. I didn't think a whole lot about it at the time. Mosquito bites are not a huge deal to me. Especially up here in Alaska where it's known we have a huge problem with them. The next morning we woke up and the bite on SD 5's forehead had obviously been scratched overnight. It didn't look great but definitely not infected or anything. So I put neosporin on in with a band aid and that was that. She obviously kept scratching it anyway. She was complaining about the ones itching on her rear end too and I just assumed it was the same thing with her forehead. So I told her to stop scratching them. I probably should have looked but they were in private areas and knowing how the BM can be I REALLY didn't feel like having her say I committed sexual assault or anything. SD 12 looked and told me they were bites.
BM picked them up, said something rude about the mosquito bite on the forehead and we didn't hear anything else until this morning (Monday). BM sent up pictures of SD 7's bum, and it looks BAD!! There's a horrible rash in several different places. She's blaming me saying that SD 7 told me about them and I said I didn't want to see them. I looked it up on the internet and found that mosquito bites can trigger eczema. It had pictures and they looked exactly like what SD 7 has on her rear end.
The thing is, that BM has told my husband over and over again that she doesn't want me being a parent to Skids. But now that this has happened she's blaming me. But if it was soooo serious when she picked them up on Friday then why didn't she take her to the ER right away? Is it possible that she over looked it too and now that she noticed it is trying to blame me? Of course my husband is pissed that I'm being blamed for this. But really? Did I do enough? Should I have done something else? Maybe it is my fault. Any suggestions?
You could have referred her
You could have referred her to her dad and had HIM look so that HE could've been blamed. It's not your fault though. Had you looked she would've asked why oh looked at her daugter's private area.
Dad could of and should have
Dad could of and should have handled it. They can't have it both ways. They can't tell you to not act like a mom and then expect you the next time it is convenient for them. Ignore this one, not your issue. It is theirs.
Don't be too hard on
Don't be too hard on yourself. These things happen, even with our own bio kids things get overlooked or miscommunicated. Sounds like it's treatable and she's fine. BM is just looking for reasons to criticize.
Kids get mosquito bites. I
Kids get mosquito bites. I wouldn't give it another thought.
Honestly, if it wasn't the mosquito bites, it would probably be something else. It's no one's fault. ((hugs))
BM pulled something similar
BM pulled something similar with me once when oldest SD had a cold with a fever. I monitored her fever, gave her children's tylenol and her temp would go down, then back up a few hours later. I looked up online what the standards are for her age and temperatures and how long to give it to break before they should see a doctor.
DH informed BM of all of this when the kids went back to her. Then the woman calls us back and said her temperature broke - well no shit you flipping idiot, your tylenol is no more magical than mine - and SD's temperature went back up a few hours later. So THREE DAYS (all middle of the week days, btw) later she takes SD to the doctor and THEN decides to yell at me about not having taken her the day I had her.
It's called BM logic. When SM does it - it's wrong, it's your fault. Whens he does it, it's being a mom. Forget about it, there's no point in worrying yourself over it.