Why can't their BM just back off and stop messaging me all day long while the kids are here???
Why does she (BM) feel the need to message me morning, noon and night just to "check on her kids." I wish she would just let them enjoy their last few days here.
She already spoke to them this morning and grilled them on what they had for breakfast, what their schedule was for they day, what they would be eating for lunch and what they would have for dinner. I mean can you tell me how articulate a three year old is supposed to be?
I am not trying to be harsh, but what they eat is does not need to be a daily discussion. How about you just try to call ONCE a day and ask how they are and not torture them with statements like "too bad you aren't home we sure are enjoying all your new toys that I bought for you."
Sometimes she makes me want to just S C R E A M!!!
(My new mantra: I love my husband, I love my skids, I love my husband, I love my skids, I love my husband, I love my skids...)
She's interfering your
She's interfering your visitations! Once a day is enough!
Glad I'm not on my own in my
Glad I'm not on my own in my thinking.
I do love the "oh i thought they were with u, how long have they been here"
She messages me because my
She messages me because my husband can't talk when he is at work and won't respond to her crap most of the time anyway. I respond during the day because if I don't the next time she talks to the kids they go wild because of the crap she fills their head with, not to mention she will continually call my husband at work and get him in trouble. We can't afford for him to lose his job because she is nuts. Plus if I can keep the peace and make his life less stressful I will.
I agree-I do think its a form
I agree-I do think its a form of "parent alienation" I forwarded al of her text messages to my e-mail and printed them out-when we went to court the judge told her 1 call a day is sufficient. Forwarding the texts to e-mail is free. Just keep a notebook of them all and give them to lawyer if you ever go back to court.
I would definitely tell her
I would definitely tell her as politely as you can that you will have them call before they go to bed and if they ask to call her. I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old stepdaughter and have had to do this. The only difference is that my stepdaughter almost refuses to talk to BM. In fact, she has told her mother that she doesn't love her when her mother tells her she loves her. And has asked if we would help her get away from her mother. And as far my daughter, when she is with her dad, I have decided to call like every other night and she calls when she wants because it decreases the arguments that my ex-husband tries to engage me in. And it will also reduce some of your stress. The sooner you handle it the sooner it will get better!
Not to mention all the time
Not to mention all the time it takes to stop what you are doing to have to deal with the situation. It takes away from your DH and your visits with the SChild.
My ex use to do the same.
My ex use to do the same. Call to get a update or text every hour to see what we were doing. I told her , none of your business. The kids are with me and it is our time. She would ruin the moment and make the kids feel like they had to come home because she misses them. What a joke. Now, I don't let them talk to her when we are together. I have them on a very limited time, so why ruin my time with them? I beleive it is all a control thing. Tell her to get a grip !
I can't believe I am going to
I can't believe I am going to type this, but it sounds to me like she just genuinely misses her kids. They are all quite young, so there really is not much more for her to talk to them about other than, "what are you doing today", "what did you have for breakfast" etc.
I agree that 3 or more times of contact per day does seem a little excessive, but again, I'm not sure that she's blatently trying to be a pain, however you know her better than we do! I guess I just look at it from my prospective, I have a 7 month old who goes to my MIL every day while hubby and I work and I promise you that when I first returned to work when he was 3 months old, I called every day, sometimes a couple of times a day.. not because I didn't trust her or because I was trying to be a pain, but because I missed him and it was new to me not to be with him all day.
I'll probably get bashed for my view on this, but I guess I'm just trying to look at it in a different light since I've recently kind of been there.
I do think part of it was her
I do think part of it was her missing them. However, she also calls just to cause problems-telling them that she has lots of new things she bought for them, but won't tell them what it is-that they have to wait and see when they get home and if they would just ask then they could come home earlier. That they don't have to listen to me because I'm not their mom. To tell me things like I should move out of their dad's house and that if he loved them then he would move closer. (Which is not something we can afford to do.)
My SS7 is with us for the
My SS7 is with us for the summer and his mom calls when it is convenient for her and asks him all sorts of questions like what he is doing, what we are doing the coming weekend? She also says things like, I have bought you a bunch of new toys and I will take you somewhere fun when you come home. SS7 has been asking her for over a year to live with his dad so she is insecure about him not wanting to live with her I think. She tells him that when he is 12 he can decide where he wants to live. When SS7 calls her to share something with her that he did that was exciting to him or something he is proud of, she never answers or responds to his pic text messages. I am guessing she is preoccupied during these times with her new boyfriend and only calls SS7 when she is lonely and missing him.