Mother resisting child's contact with Father
Hi,
I'm looking for opinion as so far no organisation has been able to offer much in the way of advice beyong "talk about it with his mum" or "get a lawyer".
My wife left me while 3 months pregnant, promising that we'd talk and go to Relate but cancelling. She issued divorce papers 4 months later. A month before our son was born we went to mediation but she refused to even be in the same room as me and the mediator had to treck between the rooms. We agreed that for the first 2 months I would only be "allowed" to see our son 2 hours a fortnight, but that would be reviewed after 2 months.
After 2 months, she postponed the mediation without involving me.
After 3 months, she cancelled the mediation without involving me.
I agreed to stick to the arrangements until our son was 6 months old, giving time for her to find whatever she needed to review the arrangements. I felt it was most important to protect any possible hope of a workign relationship between us and no jeopardise it by pushing against her wishes.
Our son is nearly 8 months now and she is still refusing mediation, and stated that she sees no reason to change the arrangements for now, but will review them at some point when he is older.
Our son hardly recognises me when I visit, and over the last few visits has actually started turning away from me and towards his gran instead. [His mum refuses to see me, but "requires" me to be chaparoned by his gran.]
I think that by his first birthday he should be able to spend the whole weekend with his father, every weekend. But I have no idea of what is reasonable / sensible / beneficial for our son. All I am convinced about is that 2 hours a fortnight is not enough and that his mum needs to put her issues aside for once and deal with what is best for our son.
Does anyone else have any experience with situations like this?
- How much time should an 8 month old boy spend with his father?
- How long do I keep sending polite letters for?
- How long do I keep conceding to his mum's wishes for?
- When do I put my concern for his mum aside and focus on just our son?
- When do I get a lawyer and risk her trying to shut me out completely?
Thanks.
Im not sure what country you
Im not sure what country you guys are in, but from a US perspective, what i would do is get a good lawyer. talk to the lawyer and take your ex to court immediately. Also, something awful that my H had to go through - bm didnt put H on the birth certificate, even though he was there for the birth and kiddo has his last name. H had to jump through a lot of hoops to get on the birth certificate before he could do anything in court. If you havent double checked, i would.
hi, Is there any grounds on
hi,
Is there any grounds on the supervised visitation that she has gotten?? Have to ask, sorry. As far as meditation is concerned, you can bypass that in generally most courts here in the states and request a visitation order be instated, a permanent one. that superceedes (cant' spell sorry lol) most stips made during a mediation.
you the father have rights, even if not married to the mother and no longer with her. I would contact legal aid if you are here in the states, if not go get a free consultation with a lawyer, alot will do it. You just have to be persistent and sit w/the phone book calling each lawyer you can find till you get one that will see you and you can lay out the case for them and they can give you the feedback you need.
it's beneficial for a child to know and be cared for by both parents as long as no domestic violence issues are present, so yea even at 6 mos. old your child should be allowed in your home overnight in my opinion.
i wish you luck!!! the courts seem to be leaning more in favor of dad's recently i've come to learn. years ago it was always the mom but i think it's beginning to change.
I know you've heard it
I know you've heard it before, but why haven't you got a lawyer yet? Only a lawyer can tell you what your rights are where you live. Now from a mother's view...she feels she is protecting her baby. I could never allow my baby long visits because I nurse. Is she nursing? Does baby sleep with her? Those are just a few factors to think about. However, you DO deserve more than a few hours each month. My question is why does she feel the need to keep the baby from you and why did she divorce you ao quickly? Does she feel you are dangerous? Unstable? There is a reason the bm is keeping the baby away and whyvyou have to have supervised visits. If there is absolutely no reason bm should feel threatned then get an attorney. You should see your kid more and what she is doing is wrong. When should you stop being polite? Now. When should you get an attorney? 8 months ago.
Your ex must have put the
Your ex must have put the fear of God into you if you haven't sought legal counsel yet....