Hello fellow friends! I have been researching sites for me to education myself, vent at times, and become a better role in my SSs lives. I think I have a great one here. I have been reading a lot of the members blogs and forum topics and am blown away by all the love and support here. I can't wait to get to know each one of you!

With that being said...I do have an issue that has been bothering me for some time and would like feedback. Here is my 'blended' family bio in a snap shot. I have been married to my husband for over a year now. He and his ex divorced 3 years ago. I have SS age 4 and 2.5. Yes they divorced after second SS was born. BM (I am learning the lingo here) remarried soon after...kids were 2 and 8months at the time. My hubby and her have not had a great communication since the seperation. Okay, lets be honest...no communication. They have made strides but every now and then a set back. I am sure this isn't an uncommon thing.

Anyway, When BM got married she told...not asked...my hubby that she was having the kids call her husband "daddy". My husband of course didn't like the idea since the kids were soo young. How could they make their own choice if she was telling them this is who he was? Her reasoning was that they wanted to have kids right away with her new husband and felt it wouldn't be right for their kids to call him daddy and not my stepsons. To this day they haven't had kids of their own for whatever reason, I don't know. My husband has let the anger of that go away because he is happy that they like him enough anyway. But we started to refer to the stepdad as "daddy (hisname)". Mainly the choice in doing this is to understand what daddy they were talking about and with lots of research that was a common thing people did in their families. But recently when hubby talks to them on the phone or wedcam...they call him "daddy (his name)" and not just Daddy. Is this something to worry about? I have heard her call him by his real name to the kids and not Dad. I feel that BM has bad motives for things. She has asked my husband in the past to give up his rights. We feel she has always wanted to replace him. My husband really took that hard. He feels like he has failed but I haven't seen a Dad like him try soo hard to make a relationship with his kids. We don't live close to them and have to travel a lot to see them. They have been through bad custody court crap that never really got any of us anywhere. What is normal in this situation? I can only find people with these problems when the kids are much older. The youngest wasn't even 1 when he was being told to call 2 people Dad. Thanks for reading and any help is welcome. Good or bad.