My 22 year old stepdaughter decided to move in with us about a year ago as her mother has a very serious drinking problem. While I sympathize and am very proud of her for treating her mom with tough love and leaving the situation with her father is no better. He is a functioning alcoholic who goes on binges for weeks at a time. This leaves me to take care of our business, the house and the kids; although she is quite capable of taking care of herself I also have an 11 year old son from a previous marriage. As I said I am very proud of my stepdaughter..she works a full time job and is attending college for teaching part time. The problem is that we get along very well as long as I keep my mouth shut. BTW, this applies to my 19 year old stepson as well but I'll get to him later. My stepdaughter is extremely lazy. She does nothing to help around the house and although she makes good money and pays no rent as she is in school she is constantly spending on new clothes and going out and then comes to her dad for money to pay her bills! Our own financial situation is not good as much of the money is spent on his drinking. (I'd like to add that he was sober when I met him and I did not know that he had a problem. He started drinking again after we married and that's when I found out that he was an alcoholic). I work for my husband running his office and receive no compensation for it as we can't afford it. I am now finally getting to the point where I feel comfortable with my 11 year old being home alone for a short time after school so that I can get a job outside of the house. I never spend money on anything without asking my husband first and most times I am made to feel guilty that I asked. He even tells me to watch what I spend when I go grocery shopping but let his daughter ask for money to go out to the clubs, join a gym, etc and he can't reach into his pocket fast enough. I have tried to talk to her but she makes me feel like I'm just the maid and should mind my own business. Also, I forgot to mention that my husband moved into my house when we married. I paid my own mortgage for 3 years after my divorce until he moved in. Now, because I don't work outside the house I am made to feel like this is not my home. My stepdaughter goes into my purse and my room anytime she wants. My door could be closed and she just barges in without knocking. She ignores me if I say something and the next thing you know my husband says that all I do is complain. My 11 year old son is the only one that sees what I go through and he understands. He is always hugging me and telling me he is sorry. How sad that an 11 year old is more mature than a 22 and 46 year old. As I said I do everything. Cleaning, cooking, shopping, answering phones 24-7. I have pretty much cut out any pleasures I once enjoyed like getting my nails and hair done because my husband is always complaining about money. Now to my 19 year old stepson. He is so disrepectful to me. He tells me to my face that if it weren't for me that his mom and dad would be together, that I don't matter and he will always be more important to his dad than me. I understand that your kids are your life but he doesn't need to throw it in my face. My SS won't even wish me a Happy Mother's Day. He says he won't because I'm not his mom yet he wishes his GF's mom Happy Mother's Day. The other day he said that he does not like me and never will, yet he has no problem asking me to do things for him. My husband and I planned a family vacation for a week in the summer. We decided that only family would go, no BF's or GF's of the kids. My SS the other day informed everyone that his GF is going. Again he's 19 and she's 17. When I told him that we had already discussed it and no extra people were going you would have thought that I committed a heinous crime! Granted I said it in front of his girlfriend which hurt her feelings but I couldn't help myself. My SS is always dictating how things are going to be and his dad does nothing. He excuses it because my SS lives with his drunk mother. Again,,19, almost 20. He's not a baby and did have the choice to live here. He did and lasted 9 days because I had a problem with his GF skipping school and them both being locked up in his room the entire day. Call me crazy but I don't think that is appropriate. When I told him that I would not allow that in my home he told me that he will do what he wants so I told him he had to go back to his moms. My husband would have allowed it just to keep the peace. I'm really at the end of my rope. My son has never disrespected my husband and if he ever did there would be hell to pay from me. I was raised with certain values and respecting your elders was one of them. My husbands ex also causes problems. She tells my SK's that I'm a whore and she is constantly calling my ex saying it to him and telling him that he will be back, stuff like that. He does nothing but give the excuse that she's drunk and she won't remember what she did so why say anything? I know anyone reading this is probably thinking...Girl get the hell out! but I stuck with my ex until all efforts were exhausted..that's how I am. I truly love my husband and I do love my SK's, I just don't like them. I am a Christian and believe that I need to do what I can to make this work. Any sound advice would be greatly appreciated.