117 days left
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Countdown for end of child support! 117 days
EOW ended last month (3 months before man/child's 18th birthday) because the boy is finally busy doing something!!!!!!!!!!He actually has a goal and is busy on Saturday!
He will be graduating in June----------HOPEFULLY.
He will hopefully get a job too. His moneygrubbing mother will make sure she gets her money from someone.
For those of you struggling, there is a God.
Congratulations! We are at 1
Congratulations!
We are at 1 1/2 years left, which feels like it will never end. Good to see someone so close!!!
Enjoy the additional income - take a vacation together!
14 years - OMG you poor
14 years - OMG you poor thing - gouge my eyes out with a plastic fork!!!!
Awesome! Your SS must also
Awesome! Your SS must also turn 18 on June 30? Only 117 more days for me too!
Congrats!!! and I hope soon
Congrats!!! and I hope soon it will be smooth sailing...:-)
I WOULD have 14 years, like Crayon left with this insanity IF I stay/ stated. Screw that. Not worth it.
Best!
MWC xoxoxox
Yeah! I don't mind providing
Yeah! I don't mind providing for the skids and I will be happy to give them money and support them while they go to college and start their adult lives, but I will dance the craziest most stoked victory dance on the day that we send off the last check to the lazy, psychotic, greedy bitch that takes our hard earned money and spends it on herself rather than her kids. I am so bitter about our CS situation that I can barely talk about it, so I cannot wait for the day that we have freedom from that repulsive fat cow and her pudgy pig hooves that grasp at our income and cling to our lives. The only exception that I would allow for her waste of our money is if she got electrolysis. I would be willing to shell out money, just so I could avoid looking at the stubble under her pig snout. I know she knows it's there because DH once broached the topic with her and sometimes it is long and sometimes it is short and stubbly, so she is doing something to it, just not removing it. There is only one proper response to facial hair on women and that is screaming horror/electrolysis. If you know it's there, freaking do something about it!
"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde
Angel...only 117 days of CS
Angel...only 117 days of CS left!!! Holy cow, I'm sooo happy for you!! I must admit, I'm jealous...
I cannot wait for the day your CS officially ends!! We'll have a "Steptalk" party - everyone's invited!!!
Unfortunately here in NY, CS must be paid until skids are 21 (ahhhhh!!!!). So we have 5 years left for SD15 & 8 years left for SS12. OMG, just writing that made me want to vomit. I cannot believe BM gets her lazy, money grubbing paws on BF's $$ for years to come. Just makes me so sick I cannot even talk about it.
I hope that all of my fellow STers will party with me when the year 2015 hits (SD turns 21) and then again when the year 2018 arrives (SS turns 21). I'll be SO happy that BM will be off our payroll.
I know there's a God, I just wish he would somehow help us end the CS madness sooner. We have 50/50 custody & we STILL have to pay her $1,500 a month!!!! We could do SO MANY GOOD THINGS with that money!!!!!
A "Steptalk" party! I am
A "Steptalk" party! I am there! I feel for those having to pay until 21.
Justanothersm
Congratulations to you too! My SS turns 18 in April but CS continues until he graduates in June.
Again, hang in there stepmoms. It will end!
Angel, your Steptalk party
Angel, your Steptalk party first - whoo hoo!!!
Just out of curiosity, for how long has your DH been paying CS to BM that you've been with him? If it was a looong time, did it seem like it would NEVER end in the beginning??
Oh, trust me, I had my own
Oh, trust me, I had my own personal countdown (11/30/09, the LAST day BM would get "lazy-mony" from my DH) and just wanted to do cartwheels.
I'm trying to get DH to see about reducing CS. Right now it's $838.57. Child is 7 years old. Mother is living w/ a guy (or, could be married to him by now, who knows, who cares?) and pays NO rent. How I wish like crazy she would have to account for all she spends on that child.
OR, have DH go for 100% custody and not pay CS to her...and as a 'gracious' dad, not request any CS from her, just get her out of our lives. THAT would be just as nice.
Congrats...in 14 days from today you'll be in DDM status! (My husband is retired Army and one of the phrases they use is "double-digit-midget" status--meaning less than 100 days--99 to be exact!...So congrats! You WILL enjoy the increase in salary once that day arrives!
~*~It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye; then it's a game: Find the eye.~*~
Shoot, I'd be thrilled if DH
Shoot, I'd be thrilled if DH would pay child support. That would mean A) he doesn't have custody and
he could lock down the revolving door on his wallet (and MY wallet!). I'm CERTAIN it would be cheaper than raising her!
Better yet, I'd be super thrilled if BM would give up visitation and let her daughter have a normal life, where she could learn and grow at an appropriate rate, rather than be emotionally stunted by her mother's babying techniques. I wonder if Bm would take a lump sum payment and just disappear?
Congrats Angel!
He has been paying since the
He has been paying since the youngest was 4 (he's the one turning 18).
When I met him 8 years ago the youngest was 9, and he was paying child support for all three ($1200.00). The oldest boy was 22 and he was still paying for him because he thought the boy was using it for school---and of course he wasn't. His daughter was 17.
I told him I wouldn't marry a man that had child support for 3. So when his daughter turned 18 (and the oldest was 24) he cut it down to child support for only one---he pays 550.00. The witch sat on the papers for a couple of months so she could get more money for her daughter's NEW car. We could have taken her to small claims to get the money returned but we didn't.
THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT. You gals are the best.
OK, so at least he was only
OK, so at least he was only paying CS for 1 child for most of your relationship with him, right? Did it seem like an eternity that BM was getting a free ride, looking back? Also, do you feel that all of those years of CS caused the financial picture of YOUR relationship with him to suffer dramatically? Sometimes that's the way I feel, that's why I'm asking.... I need help in re-evaluating my relationship & my future with my BF (and whether or not marrying him would be such a good idea..).
I just keep picturing all of that money going into BM's hands (over $1,500/mo. for 2 kids) for the next 5 years (and 1/2 of that for an additional 3 years after that) and it makes me frustrated & disgusted. That's just a lot of money. Not to mention, I know that BM does NOT use that much money on skids...and she only works minimally, if ever (only when she feels like it). Did I mention that we share 50/50 joint custody with BM & that the skids LIVE with us 4 days/week or 3 days/week (alternating) every week???
Ahhhh!!!!
stepmomto2 thank you for
stepmomto2 thank you for your honesty in your post!! You & I seem to have very similar situations in terms of CS & all of the addtional expenses that our DHs/BFs pay to lazy, money-grubbing BM's.
Same here with braces for both skids
Same here with complete medical/dental/optical, etc... coverage for skids
Same here for unreimbursed medical expenses/what insurance doesn't pay (except ours is 87%!!)
Same here with paying for a babysitter on the RARE days that BF couldn't be home for skids (and we have 50/50 custody of ours - 4 days 1 week, 3 days next week)
Same here with paying full CS to BM always as if BF is just a "weekend dad" ($1,500/mo. for 2 kids), even though BM only has her kids 50% of the time!!
We pay, we pay, we pay...and BM continues to sit back and enjoy the profits of their divorce because she CHOOSES not to work (or work whenever she feels like it). Here in NY, the parent that makes the most $$ of the 2 parents must PAY, PAY, PAY even though having 50/50 custody & skids living with us...
Thanks for your advice & perspective. I agree with you about not dwelling on the "big picture" (although I must admit, it's easier said than done) because it's definitely too overwhelming. One day at a time, baby steps. As my mom used to say "and this too, shall pass".
We just concentrate on being the best parents we can be to skids (no biokids for me) and never badmouth BM (though she would certainly deserve it & more) - and hopefully skids will realize all we have done for them.
If I didn't love my BF nearly as much as I do, I definitely wouldn't be able to be in a relationship like this. It's certainly not for just anyone - you really have to have a thick skin and the ability to see past all of the immediate effects to do it. One of the strongest aspects of my situation is my love for my BF & how we are so AMAZING together - we're a great team and are best friends!! Life is short, and I look forward to growing old with BF - so I enjoy life with him and try not to let the thought of $100's of thousands of dollars going to ungrateful, unappreciative BM over these many years past (& many to come) affect that perspective.
Milomom, I can see your
Milomom,
I can see your dilema and absolutely feel your pain. Yes, for most of our married relationship he was paying for only one. Yes, it seemed like an eternity but I knew that was his obligation and the child support never came up. It would have pissed me off to pay for two extra "adults" but not the child. I have learned never to depend on a man financially----so I didn't suffer. His X has always worked so it wasn't really a free ride. What I resented was "babysitting" for her arse, her manipulating MY weekends, and having to plan around a "beotch".
Had I been younger & with no children I would never have hooked up with a man with kids. Life is too short and there are men out there without all the baggage. As you get older the pool of single baggage-free men starts to look like a stream in the middle of a drought. It seems like all the men have handles up the butt!
Good luck sweetie. It sounds like your situation will be full of very difficult moments ahead. I would re-evaluate.
Wow! How lucky you are...we
Wow! How lucky you are...we have...
1) anytime now if preggo 15yr old gets married (she tells everyone she is, but no proof we have yet)
2) 7 mos if preggo 15yr old waits until after she's 16 to get married
3) 2yrs 7mos if prego 15yr old decides to continue school and drops out at 18 (she'll be in either 9 or 10th grade since she is failing this year already)
4) 4 1/2 more years if she doesn't fail this year and continues school (she'll be 20 then)
5) 5 1/2 more years if she continues school and stays until she's 21 (since Texas schools allow kids until 21yrs of age only)
Soooo, darn! I wish I had a countdown, but it changes constantly...sometimes we add years, sometimes we subtract, you just never freaking know...
Congratulations to you! Enjoy YOUR money now! I know we're planning a nice trip with that money as SOON AS IT ENDS!
I also live in NY. Our CS
I also live in NY. Our CS won't end until SS is 21.(19 now). He decided to drop out of college, so now he gets to keep his lazy ass home w/ his even lazier BM.She sits home collecting SSI. She says SS is depressed and has him going to her therapist. He's also on antidepressants. The two of them have put such a strain on our marriage. Husband never stand up to her. I feel I can't disengage anymore. I also would advise people to rethink getting involved with anyone with children.
22 DAYS
22 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!
Steptalk Party coming soon!
Angel, I'm sooo excited for
Angel, I'm sooo excited for you!!! Whoo hoo!!!
And so JEALOUS at the same time that your BM will be off your payroll soon...
Count me in on the ST Party!!! I can't WAIT to hear all about the beginning of your new life WITHOUT child support (and how your BM deals with it)!! Again, CONGRATS!!!!
we got lucky. BM accepted his
we got lucky. BM accepted his house as full payment on child support. My husband bought a house early in the housing boom and they agreed that with inflation that the house would more than cover the payments. so it worked all good. Except now that she has realized that we are sitting pretty, 10 yrs from retirement, and she is kicking herself in the ass. Since BD divorce she has married four other men and keeps popping kids out like they are kittens. (5 husbands 5 kids) We got into it recently and she demanded money. I tried to advise her that if she kept her legs closed she might have some extra money for her botox. Strangly she didnt take so kindly to my advice. Strike one for the good guys!!Please remind all your children to use a condom at 17, because what they do now will follow them for the rest of their lives. lots love and good luck to all.
csrabbit2, you are lucky - no
csrabbit2, you are lucky - no CS (I'm envious). Oh, how I long for the day...
As for your BM having 5 different kids/5 husbands, that's just plain disgusting. I think your advice to her was dead on - what does she need to do, tie a string around her finger to remind her to keep her legs closed? lol. By the way, I loved your expression "keeps popping kids out like they are kittens" - that made me giggle!! How old is your BM anyway and how long have they (BM & your DH) been divorced?
Seriously, though, I'm sure there are many pathetic women out there that think nothing of continuing to have kids with different "baby daddies" just to continue to sit on their lazy asses and collect CS - and if all 5 kids all have 5 different baby daddies, that's 17% of EACH of their incomes (here in NY anyway) she's collecting!! It's like a weird form of "insurance" for them to be able to sit home & do what they please and live off of everyone else but themselves. Just thinking about women like that makes one sick.
Amazing, she gets to keep his house and she STILL likes to think she can "demand" money from your DH for CS. Hmmmm...I wonder from what planet she was beamed down from?
Lots of luck to you, too! Please keep positive thoughts coming my way - I have many years more of waiting for our BM to be off my BF's payroll...
Angel, your countdown must be
Angel, your countdown must be down to the end by now (or at least soon). Whoo hoo!! I'm so happy for you (and conflicted with feelings of jealousy/envy at the same time).
Wishing you wonderful child-support-free years ahead!!!
We dont pay CS, but we've got
We dont pay CS, but we've got 15 years left of dealing with psycho barbie... im already counting down LOL.. im 22 and ill be damn near 40 before we can legally ignore her ...insert jeopardy waiting song here.. LOL
iwishyouwould, all I can say
iwishyouwould, all I can say is UGHHHH...I'm sorry about the 15 years. There are no words...
The GREAT side of it is that you don't have to pay her CS!! That's a home run! Wish I could say the same.
I get through the CS thing by looking at it as a long-term business expense or a 10 yr. mortgage or something like that (as I do). Meaning, it has a start date and it WILL HAVE AN END DATE. It does not go on forever and ever until eternity. Each payment brings my BF 1 step closer to having BM "off our payroll" - and then she'll be out on her ass probably with nothing - instead of having a plan to better herself during that time, she'll likely find some other sucker to leech off of. Does that make any sense?
Just trying to help.....sorry if I made it worse.
11 days left!!!!!
11 days left!!!!!
OMG Angel!!! I am so happy
OMG Angel!!! I am so happy for you (and still jealous at the same time)!!! Congrats!!!! I bet you are just GLOWING with the excitement of knowing BM will be off your payroll in DAYS!!! How do you think she'll react??
Oh, the bitch still has a
Oh, the bitch still has a fight in her.
She'll try to pull a fast one. Depending on how the court handles this, if she has to sign anything she'll sit on it & still collect the money until forced to send it in (she did this when he stopped the last child support for the other two kids). If the court just stops the child support without a court hearing (like it should because the divorce decree & the state of CA ends child support at 18 or graduation)she won't be able to do anything. If this scenario plays out she'll tell her son to ask his father for monthly $ to be given to him directly.
But my dh is going to say no. If she sits on the document and not signs it for awhile I WILL TAKE HER TO SMALL CLAIMS TO GET EVERY NICKEL BACK.
Then I am finished with her. May I never hear her name in my home again.
AMEN Angel!! Lets hope the
:sick: AMEN Angel!!
Lets hope the state of CA & the courts will simply stop the CS without a hearing once your SS turns 18. I don't think they do here in NY, but I'll be sure to look into that soon - well before SD15 turns 18. I think that here in NY, you have to go down to Child Support Enforcement office (with Divorce Decree & all legal papers in hand, of course) and submit paperwork to have the CS terminated. I don't think it is "automatic" anywhere, so be careful with that, Angel.
We ALL know how these BM's are - if they can drag out extra payments of CS that they're not entitled to, trust me, they will. Of course, you know that the courts "frown" upon having ANY child support $$ that is paid in error reimbursed or returned to the CP. :sick: They see it as a gift "for the child". I've seen too many NY case decisions go that way, anyway. Grrrrr.....
I know I'll have all of our papers completed, stamped, signed, sealed, copied, stapled, tied with a pretty pink ribbon and waiting to go to CSE WELL before SD15 turns 18 (be careful not to submit the papers too soon, because I think it's a ground for dismissal of your petition to terminate CS if skid isn't 18 yet).
Wishing you all the best!!!
LAST DAY IS TODAY!!!!!!! He
LAST DAY IS TODAY!!!!!!! He is 18 (has been since April) and has his commencement TODAY.
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Angel CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I
Angel CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
I have a mental picture of you dragging your DH to the courthouse by his ear with papers in hand reading "Petition to Terminate CS"...lol!!
Whoo hoo!! I'm jealous.
Please stay in touch and let us know what it's like to be CS free...I would take the amount (1st month of what you saved in CS) and just go celebrate with your DH.