DH getting denied 6-week summer visitation by BM
Surprise surprise!
With a story that pretty much reads like 90% of STers out there, I'll spare you the hairy details.
Visitation agreement has visitation outlined for the beginning of this summer, the first Saturday after school is out and then 6 weeks thereafter. SKs live several states away and even though we visit once a month on weekends, 6 weeks is the main visit every year and DH looks forward to it ALL year.
SD6 is "recommended" to attend 4 weeks of summer school (not required to move to 2nd grade). We were just told about this. Since no other time this summer will be good for the SKs to come out (we want to provide them with a QUALITY summer), we offered to hire a private tutor (certified to teach 1st grade) to tutor her for the time she'll be here provided her current teacher provides objectives and milestones for SD6 to meet. Being a former teacher myself, I know that not much is accomplished in summer school and that a private tutor could do wonders. This is not acceptable to BM, she is now ignoring all emails and phone calls regarding the subject and has pretty much told DH that she doesn't care about his relationship with SD2 and SD6.
We are sending a certified letter to her house with a copy of the agreement and telling her of the meeting times to make the exchange of the SKs for visitation since she has refused over the phone (calls dating a, b, c, etc.) and over email (attaching copies of emails).
Anything else we can do? We are at a loss now. If she doesn't show up, we finally have money for a lawyer.
yes. letter from your atty.
yes. letter from your atty. spend the $300 for the nasty letter to be written.
then if she continues on...court for an injunction.
We wrote one ourselves. We
We wrote one ourselves. We weren't planning to get an attorney involved until she truly messes up, like not showing up for the visitation. Part of me doesn't want her to, I really want to see how stupid she is. Then the better half tells me that I can't wait to see those girls and look forward to spending time with them. Sigh....
ok, but when she does not
ok, but when she does not show up, you then have to get the atty. you have to file contempt charges and then you need a hearing scheduled. that is all way more expensive than nasty lawyer letter. and it loses you the entire visitation.
is the goal court and seeing her mess up? or is the goal having dad see his kids?
The goal is for DH to see
The goal is for DH to see his kids. I get it, I promise I do. I really love those kids too. Like I said, the EVIL part of me wants her to mess up. Ultimately I don't want her to because I really want DH to get his visitation. Good idea to go the lawyer route. We may be making some calls today
I don't know that there's
I don't know that there's much else you can do. You're very smart to send everything certified, just make sure you're keeping copies of EVERYTHING. Dates and times of phone calls, copies, etc. Does she have a lawyer you could send a copy of the letter to?
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
No, she hasn't had an
No, she hasn't had an attorney since the divorce was final and we haven't either. I really hope she doesn't use same one because that lawyer was the most unethical bitch I've ever come across. We keep records of everything and I love the fact that you can do screen shots of an iPhone, she has no idea we've kept all her nasty texts.
it really is worth the money
it really is worth the money on the atty. or...you can not have done it...miss the summer visitation and pay to take her in on contempt. which is court appearance time and more expensive. a quick evil lawyer letter can do wonders.
Good advice. I think the
Good advice. I think the letter should do the trick. If the one we wrote doesn't work we might have a lawyer write one.
If its in the agreement send
If its in the agreement send it along with an attorney's nastygram. Possibly look into a police escort to pick up those kids to bring to the airport. She'll have to pay this regardless if she choses to abate or not. She also can lose some custodial benefit if she becomes too obstructive.
More often than not, BM will relent at the last minute. Right now she's having fun torturing you guys.
I just don't understand some
I just don't understand some people. These are good guys who just want to see their children and be in their lives.
All you can do is follow the advice of your attorney and keep documentations of her behavior. Ask the attorney to threaten that you'll have the authorities get the kids if she doesn't cooperate. Maybe reading that will get her to cooperate so the kids don't have to see the cops.
Oh she wouldn't care. I can
Oh she wouldn't care. I can see it now, "Oh your daddy wanted the cops to come get me...."
When they were going through their divorce, she hired protective custody and made him get his kids at a police station with video cameras, gaurds, and the whole works. DH is one of the most calm and gentle men I have ever met. No clue why she did this. At the time SD2 was a baby, he said he just sat and held SD2 in his car crying because he felt so sorry for his daughters.
But we have plenty of documentation, we'll probably try threatening even though it might not work.
Research Parental Alienation
Research Parental Alienation Syndrome, because this sounds like what BM is doing.
Oh yeah, BM has mad PAS
Oh yeah, BM has mad PAS skills....
Dr. Richard Gardner is an
Dr. Richard Gardner is an expert on PAS and has written children's books about it. You might want to consider buying some for your SDs.
Here is a link to Dr. Gardner's book:
http://74.125.113.132/search?q=cache:ODkyzoTkLmUJ:search.barnesandnoble....
However...she wouldn't like
However...she wouldn't like the $1000 charged to her ass for cops having to do this. Muahahaha!
Seeking.. Whenever our BM
Seeking.. Whenever our BM thought she could do whatever she wanted during our visitation.. My BIG BAD LAWYER would put the fear of God into her.. Sometimes that is all it takes, if she thinks you are going to take her back to court, she might rethink your offer for a tutor.. Have your lawyer send a BIG BAD you are going to be in contempt of court letter.. right away...