Handling Going to SD's Baby Shower
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Anyone ever attended a function where the ex wife wants your husband back?
As of last week, my DH's ex wife told him that she cried on our wedding day - each phone call is a hint to how much she wants the marriage back.
Come summer, I am expected to attend a baby shower with this woman and his ex-family as well.
I am going to need all the help I can get in order to go - I really feel that this woman is crammed down my throat way too much but I want to be the bigger person here so I'm going.
Advice?
I would talk with SD about
I would talk with SD about it. Let her know that you are concerned that your presence at her shower will bring unwanted tension to her happy event and tell her that you'd prefer to do something special with her to celebrate the baby the two of you. You could offer to take her out to lunch and give her a present there. Let her know that you're happy to attend if that's what she really wants but since its her day you're afraid that your presence might be distracting for her mother.
That way you get to be the bigger person (by showing concern for BOTH SD and her mother's feelings) and avoid attending the stressful event.
I got nothin' else. C_G's
I got nothin' else. C_G's advice was perfect.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
CG, perfect solution... I am
CG, perfect solution... I am going to remember that one, if a situation like that arises for me.. THANKS
Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the advice ladies!
Long story short - my MIL loathes my DH's ex - his entire family does. But they are all going to the shower due to my SD asking them to attend for her sake. So I HAVE to be the bigger person here and go - not that I want to - and I'm not doing this for my husband either. I really can't see myself asking him to attend a function with my ex husband - any function such as this. My daughter is not close to her dad at all so he has the advantage of my ex not even in the picture.
I've had to hear all of his ex's bullshit for almost 2 years now - how she messed up, her texts, emails..just bullshit.
So I plan to hold my head up high and my temper at the door. I really do. But this will be one of the hardest things I've done. But being that his entire family can show up and be the bigger people with their hatred of her - I guess I can do it as well.
Gonna try my best!
Hey girlfriend You know what
Hey girlfriend
You know what I really am wondering about? My DH has trouble sometimes standing up to her in front of his kids. We are about to be put in a position with his ENTIRE family - and he had better be READY to put her in her place if she starts in with her 'oh woest me' attitude and feels she needs to attach herself to my husband's hip. And I mean that more than anything. I keep telling him that his attitude towards her is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. She treats him in the way he allows her to. So I better not see the "Mr Quiet" at this shower because if so - he and I will have some issues.
She may be the kid's mother but there is no reason for her to feel she has to hang out with my husband. But I can see it being an issue with her. Just to show she has some kind of control.
Walk with your head held
Walk with your head held high because he is YOUR man and not hers and she desperately wants him.
Be proud and secure.
Last year I had to attended
Last year I had to attended a bridal shower. (DF's 1st cousin's bride to be) His X was at the time dating the bride to be's dad. So I went with SIL, MIL and DF's aunts. His X is a complete b*tch and wants my DF back, she started dating this guy to piss off DF. Anyway, I showed up at the shower and acted as if she were not even there. I completely ignored her the entire time. She however made a compete ass of herself. DF's aunt said that all she did the entire time we were there was stare a hole completely through me. She was so worried about the conversations that I was having that she forgot to do some of the things she was supposed to be doing for the shower! DF and I were not engaged yet, but his mom was introducing me to everyone as "my sons wife". It completely burned her ass up! I know that she still wants him back, I have dealt with the calls, test messages, comments, etc for almost 4 years. We are getting married in 3 weeks and she still will not accept that they are OVER! (She is also on her 2nd boyfriend and all they do is fight)