My hubby lives about 2 1/2 hours from his family - I know he misses them but does not see them much due to working 60-70 hour weeks.

My mother asked us to attend Easter service with my family tomorrow and come to lunch after and I asked him so he said he would be delighted. He had hoped he didn't have to work - which he found out he didn't - and had no other plans at the time so it was told to her we would be there.

Yesterday I get a call from my SD - she informs me that his oldest son has almost the entire family gathering at his house for Easter - which is about 25 people - and they really want to see their dad. She said that if I said yes my DH would come and really made out that they all wanted us to come and it would be great for him to see his kids and grandkids and everyone else.

Kind of put me on the spot for I knew nothing about it. I already feel somewhat guilty for him not seeing them much, so I really didn't need to hear if I pursuaded him to come he would.

I came home and asked my DH about it. He actually knew about it for his son had already called him earlier in the week and he declined due to having plans set in stone with my family. I asked why he didn't tell me and he said he had told his son if we didn't have the entire day spent we may try to come up but he would not promise anything. Said he knew had already accepted and wasn't going to back out.

I don't know why I feel so guilty about him not seeing his family - but I do. Is this normal or what in the world am I doing? And why am I allowing his daughter to make me feel that if "I" don't accept their invitation and cancel my family's that I'm wrong? Just because I find out 2 days before Easter?

What I want his family to know is that he married into another family as well as having his own. I can't tell myself that every holiday belongs to them. I have no hard feelings but I really don't feel I'd have the heart to cancel my mother out to go to his family's house when she's already expecting us.

If we did go after lunch with my family and up to see his, we'd be on the road 5 hours total on Sunday. Only to be able to stay about 2 hours for I have to be at work early Monday morning. DH also has a job interview early Monday morning here in town to try to get a job where he doesn't work as much.

I guess I wonder what his family would feel if we accepted their invitation and suddenly backed out while we were expected to show up? I just can't be that insensitive to my family. And don't get me wrong - I ADORE his family - I do and they really have accepted me in their lives.

His children are grown and I have come to wonder why they don't make the trip down to see their father - the road DOES go both ways. He is only off a short time Saturday night and Sundays mostly. That's it. Occasionally he even has to work Sunday. But I've heard that they really don't like the fact he doesn't come up to see them.

I'm starting to feel a little uneasy here due to his daughter saying the stuff to me that she did - like I might be the reason he isn't coming possibly?? She really is demanding and he kind of follows her like a little pup - he assured me that he is not breaking plans but I'm just kind of upset that she really ignored the fact that my family is looking forward to seeing us and wanted to put her thoughts and wishes ahead.

Thoughts?