How old are your skids? I think this makes a huge difference sometimes. We have 50/50 custody also. I personally think that BF's schedule made a little more sense when skids were younger (they were 9 & 6 when we met) and they would go back & forth every few days & every other weekend. However, now that skids are 15 & 12, I definitely feel that it would be less disruptive to THEM (not to mention just overall easier & more consistent for the adults as well) to do 7-7 as you suggested. Also, skids don't have any diagnosed emotional/mental/physical growth or developmental problems (i.e. ADHD) to deal with, so I'm not sure how that would factor in.

Why are you getting resistance on the other end (I assume you mean from BM) in the first place? How long have they been divorced? Why isn't your DH/BF handling this himself? Is he on board with your suggestion? Again, I would need a little more info. about your situation to be able to help.

Good luck with the appointment with the mediator! Keep me posted on how it goes.

We just did this. It took some fighting, but it was worth it. The reasons she didn't want to switch it to 7-7 was because she didn't want to "look bad." We wanted to do this b/c DBf might get orders soon and we dont know how much longer we'll be here. We used to have SS3 every other weds-sunday. He asked to do EOW and she freaked out. He told her he didn't want to change the paperwork or anything he just wanted to see his kid more often. She said "well if you ever want to fight for custody then it would look like I didn't want to have him!" Even though she asks us to take him all the time b/c she always has "plans" with her BF of the week. She also just wants to keep control, so she told him "well we'll see week by week." DBf stood his ground (I'm so proud!!) and told her NO, I want to see my son so I will. Anway, from our experience it wasn't TOO hard but we still had to put up a fight. Good luck and I hop your BM isn't as selfish or ignorant as ours is...

About 6 months ago I got my FH to switch from a 2-2-1-2/2-2-2-1 schedule to a 2-2-5-5 schedule. The previous way the weekends were FAR to complicated (FH said it worked when SS was young and both he and BM were dating and had active social lives; BM is now remarried with her own SS and a new baby).
SS10 (almost 11) leaves piano books, his saxaphone, and whatever sporting equipment is associated with the season he is in at the other parents house all the time. He has no responsibilities partially due to his not being in any one household for any sustained period of time.
I have been pushing a discussion of this- but FH and BM don't do anything for their son. They do it out of their selfish interests and each constantly "negotiating" (the word FH uses) with the other to get more out of them. Even as it is now, with SS supposed to be at one house or the other Fri-Sun nights they are constantly "negotiating" moving him for various reasons. Throw in the manipulative behavior of the BM, who threatens to take FH to court if he wants "extra" and who won't return a phone call of FH says he needs to talk to me about a switch....the schedule isn't even setup 3 weeks in advance, so I actually can't make a dinner plan with friends for FH and me for a few weekends away. Add a sprinkle of FH behaving like someone who has been abused (BM was and is psychologically abusive to him), and who worries about BM's travel plans if he doesn't capitulate and give her whatever weekend switches she wants, and it is worse.
Does it ever end? Does the 7-7 help with this constant back/forth?
I also want them to just do alternating Thanksgivings/spring breaks, instead of constantly "negotiating" these so that SS moves between each house multiple times during breaks, preventing us from having cohesive family time or time to travel during any of these.
Does anyone do this with holidays?
Does this kind of schedule help place better boundaries on the relationships with the ex-spouse? FH needs whatever help he can get in this department.
I am so tired of constantly worrying about this and trying to figure it out.

How SS comes back from BM's house is an issue. When he is there for an extended period he is mouthy, rude to FH, and he stops answering FH's calls during this period.
FH panics, takes it out on me, and then treats SS with kid gloves when he is back with us, waits on him hand and foot, etc.-- thinking this will make SS return to him or something.
All of this--- all of it-- is about them (FH and BM). I am so tired of it, and so tired about how selfish they both are! It is about serving their needs to be with their child. WITHOUT considering the fact that this child has no choice in it, that they chose to have a baby knowing they did not love each other, and that now they are serving their own interests. None of the interests of SS, of raising a kind, thoughtful, compassionate child, etc.
It kills me.

YES! They are both guilt parents. They also did this "attachment parenting" b-s. This means co-sleeping forever (my SS, who is 10.5 years old) slept in his dad's bed until a year ago. FH has always given him and taken him wherever he goes-- adult dinner parties? check, SS is sitting there at the table. A friend's 40-year old birthday party? (where there are NO kids). Check. Work functions. Check. SS has no responsibilities, leaves the toilet seat up and then he and FH joke about it. He interrupts conversations that FH and I have by saying either we need to include him in it or change the topic to something he can be a part of. He does not seem to appreciate all of the privileges he has in his life, but rather expects that he will be given these privileges. SS has never been with a babysitter or left at home while FH did anything social.
So, there's a lot of issues. I'm just so tired of all this being about the parents, their own emotional b.s. that's wrapped up in this, and NOT about what is best for SS and helping him develop into a thoughtful, responsible young man. I think b/c FH and BM each have 50/50 physical custody they literally battle each other for exactly a 50/50 split of days and when one goes over more the other makes demands to get it back. It is so so so unhealthy. So many of those things about him that I think were "cute" when he was 6, 7, 8 years old are just not anymore. And I really look at him and see him at 15 as mouthy, spoiled, and even more self-centered than he is.

Steppinginsf...you're 100% right on that! Ding ding ding...give that woman a prize!! My SS12 was 6 when I met BF - and those "cute" things will turn him into exactly what you said in a few more years. He is spoiled, whiney, rude, momma's boy, whimpy and feels that he is "entitled" to things that are supposed to be privileges...JUST. LIKE. HIS. MOTHER. (BM). Don't get me wrong, I love SS12 & he has good qualities, too - but FOR THE SOLE REASON that I instill those good qualities in him (studying to get good grades, respect, etc...), not BM that's for sure.

BF never has allowed SS12 to sleep in his bed (later became OUR bed) - except when he was MUCH younger, maybe 6 or 7, and he'd have a bad dream in his room and come to our room crying & we'd assure him it was just a dream, let him lay down for a little while, then put him back in his own bed.

Your FH's actions are giving him "adult spousal status" as many posters here on ST have blogged about before. It has to stop ASAP and if it doesn't, you should consider your options NOW before the skids get older.

I never said thank you for this last night. FH and I talk A LOT about SS's adult spousal status. I feel like it's 1 step forward (e.g. he only reads 1 book chapter to SS at night so is only in his room with him for 20 min. versus up to an hour) and 1.5 steps back (e.g. last Saturday night he chose to stay home with SS rather than attend an adult birthday party with me, saying "I only get every other weekend with him and I prefer his company over the people at the party." As if it was about the other people at he party, rather than being somewhere with me! He also does not respond when SS tells us to "change your conversation topic b/c I am not a part of this one and I'm getting bored." I say nothing, yet, when I've told FH that I want him to cut back on the time in SS's bedtime he responds by being tense and telling me how I'm fundamentally changing his relationship with his son.).
I need strategies to communicate effectively with FH about this, or I need someone to tell me that over time, and maybe a long time, it will continue to get better.
My sense of value and self-worth in my relationships with him is at an all time long, I feel so disconnected from him, and I end up directing so much anger at him, which only makes him retreat.
I told our therapist in a v.m. that I need to be able to communicate a list of needs I have in this relationship that I cannot compromise on any more. And I need validation and praise, like he does, for all of the positive ways I contribute to his life, the family life, etc. (beyond laundry, organization, etc.).
any advice on this?

I'm sending you a p.m. in response to this!

I have a 5522 setup now and it both works and sucks at the same time. Transitions during the school year are at least easy as we use the school system to send the kids back and forth. BM does not take kids to their activities or to doctors appts so things can be hectic.

Every other week we only have the kids for two days and there is very little down time between running to doctors offices, dance, therapy, allergy shots, etc. It is difficult on us and the kids with all the running around. On the weekends that we don't have the children they miss their weekend sports which is frustrating to us, the children and their teams.

If the schedule was 7-7 would things be better? It could make enrolling them in other activities even harder but it would allow us some downtime with the kids.

My kids BM just doesn't want to be burdened by things that I sign the kids up for. She also doesn't like that I insist on keeping all equipment and I'm one the who spent all the money on it and when I tried to let her borrow stuff she'd hassle me about having to go out of my way to get it back even though her daycare is in my neighborhood.

Two of my kids play hockey and their equipment is worth over $1,000. I have offered to take the equipment to hockey practices and games and get the kids ready and then I'd pack the bag at the end and leave. XW didn't like me having that much control plus XW and SW have had a couple of nasty run-ins and it is very awkward. XW won't spend her child support money on buying the kids equipment.

Other child does dance which is only on days that my daughter is home so their is no need for her BM to ever take her.

With regards to XW's schedule I can't comment but she missed like 4 dentist appointments this past year despite insisting on taking the kids and got them thrown out of the dental practice. Plus she doesn't bother to give kids prescription medicine. I think it all comes down to something called responsibility.