No. You are perfectly sane.

I "observed" the exact thing going on with my dh and ss5. (I've only been married a year.)

Both dh and the beastly bm were co-sleeping with the kid, at different homes even!

Honestly, I thought it was strange. Quite. I'm a mom too but never did I lay in the bed with my son at such an age a "cuddle" like that? Slept with me, never did...

It's like we got a whole new version of M. Jacksons out there. (no offense)

Don't you really feel that YOU should be waking up in his arms? Not downstairs with her?

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree!

I see nothing wrong with a father cuddling with his child! Nothing wrong at all!!!

***Life - It's not a rehearsal***

Dh cuddles with SD11 in bed every night while they buddy read together. I used to think it was weird bc I didn't have a dad to do that stuff with me so I didn't know anything about father/daughter relationships...I think it's normal now though. except, there was one time that he fell asleep in there by accident and I got really worked up. but other than that, I just let them do their thing. Cosleeping, crossing the line. Cuddling for a bit,not a problem.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

I feel the same way. My bf's daughter9 is very clingy...my bf lays on the couch, she is laying on top of him (not in a bad way)..he sits in his chair, she is on his lap....soon as she wakes up she gets in bed with him (us)and lays all over him. When we go somewhere, she is holding his hand or wanting him to carry her. These types of behaviors are not weird when they are occasional but in my case, it is all the time everyday. She is very jealous of me too. She doesn't allow affection between my bf and I. If he hugs me and she sees she will say "my daddy!!" It is a strange message to send to her when she already thinks that she is competing for his affection. Everyone is different when it comes to the way they express affection so it is hard to say whether it is normal or not. It does make me uncomfortable sometimes even embarrassed when we are out in public. I'm like you Marriedwithchild, I love my children and I showed them affection but never did I allow them to lay all over me when they were older than 4-5 nor did they come in our bedroom and lay all over people nor did I go to their room to cuddle with them. It just sends the wrong message especially to a girl because it is a proven fact that the way that a girl interacts with her father is the way she acts with a guy when she starts dating.

Cuddling is okay in this situation I think. I used to do the same with my daughter when she was younger. Now, sleeping with the kid to help them fall asleep or sneaking off into the night to sleep with the kid, that I don't agree with. I just don't believe in "co-sleeping". In the mandatory divorce class for parents that I took years ago, they had the cut off for sleeping with or having one's child sleeping in your room at 6 months.

Back to your post though, I can see why it makes you uncomfortable especially if you're getting that vibe that your SD is competing with you for Daddy's attention/affection. Have you talked to him about it?

I think this is OK. Be grateful he's not trying to cuddle with her in YOUR bed. Although my dad was never this way, DH is with our two BDs. They love to have him lay in their beds for a few minutes at night. Maybe your husband is just trying to both let you sleep in and spend some quality time with his daughter? I would let this one go, it will resolve itself in time.

My dad never did stuff like this with us, but he was gone a lot & was an alcoholic. I love to cuddle in bed with my 2 1/2 year old. He & I do it a lot just before bed time & watch Bob the Builder, read a story or my favorit thing where I take out a big sketch pad and we draw pictures & make up stories. Unfortunately I do have purple marker on my cream sheets, but what the heck.

I think what makes it hard is that they are not our children. I love my stepkids but I could never snuggle in bed with them, even when they were 5 & 7.

" I just don't believe in "co-sleeping". In the mandatory divorce class for parents that I took years ago, they had the cut off for sleeping with or having one's child sleeping in your room at 6 months."

Are you serious?! These "two" slept with ss5 until he was 5 years old! Not to mention that until I came into the picture only a year ago, he was STILL in Pull-Ups?! wtf?

SS5 still claims boldly that, "Mommy always lets me sleep with her." In the bedroom of ss5 at the beastly bm's home, ss5 still has a frikkin crib (wtf?) in there?

Of course it is alright to cuddle ANYONE. But to neglect your wife and not be with her when SHE wakes up instead?! Oh, come on!

»

Ummm, yep. Only child. Yes, a crib.

Then again, I have one child also and I seem to recall him switching out for a toddler bed about 3 1/2 years before ss5.....Trust me, it's sad what ss5 can't do for himself at age 5. I feel very sorry for him but yet many tell me that it is ss5's PARENTS responsibility (not just mine) to teach him the basics.

duplicate post*** deleted*

Mich811...I think that you're right about the confidence in the bond with your husband because I wonder if all the affection that my bf shows his daughter would bother me so much if he showed me that kind of love and understanding. It all boils down to learning to be second....it is hard for me but I am learning.

Yes.. my daughter still likes to cuddle with her dad. ANd my son to for that matter. And I hope that my baby will have cuddle time with her dad. I can certainly understand your jealousy if you aren't being given you and him QT time. When his kids are here, they have a bedtime, and then it is our time. I don't care how late they get to stay up at their moms. They are here, they have a bedtime. And it works fine, as they will listen and go to bed. There was some oppostion at first, but I am always point blank and told the little guy, that we are adults and you are a kid, and that is why we get to stay up. I am an adult who needs quiet un-kid time with my husband. It is healthy for our relationship. And I am a better stepparent when I have some me time.

IMHO I don't think its bad UNLESS he is doing it at night and all day long and has no time for you. Then yes, I would be pissed.

I think cuddling with a 5 year old is okay....how about reading to your 9 year old daughter in the bathroom while she's bathing.....does that cross the line?

Who is reading to her?

Yes, I think that is werid. You can read to a child when they are out of the bathtub. I would have a HUGE problem if my daughter's own bio-dad was reading to her while she was washing her private parts.

In this day and age. ARe you kidding me? WHat does that dad need, a call from Child Protective Services to chat with him about how it looks on the outside? I think someone needs to tell the guy point blank that it is making him sound and look the part of a pedophile. I am sure (or at least I hope) that is not the case.

DH truly is not a pedophile...he's just indulgent. This child can not entertain herself. She's an only child. "Daaaad...read to me while I have a bath".....and he does.

But really, when does it end. Shes Daddy's girl. Honestly...is this normal behaviour.

The Wookie still co-sleeps with SD9 on her weeks. Not only that, SD9 has a wetting problem. Instead of trying to teach SD9 how to wake herself up during the night to go to the bathroom, she STILL has her in pull-ups - at 9-years-old!!!!
______________________________________

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

My sister 10 year old step son sleeps with his mom too. But at their house he sleeps in his own room. The BM makes her BF sleep in the spare room whne he stays over so her son can sleep with her. Crazy!

When I met my husband, he and his son8 and daughter1 were all sharing a bed. That was one thing I insisted stopped before we wed. I got 1/2. SD4 has stayed in her bed 6 times in 3 years - everytime she does I praise her (usually it's when Dad's not home). Until last month it was a very sore spot with me. My kids broke me of bed-sharing; they take up too much room!

So rather than bring it up to Handsome Husband AGAIN and have him feel torn between two females I made a bed of blankets on the floor. SD can lay there or she can use the bed in her room. So far it has kept her from our bed.

Next step is to shift her to her own room and maybe we could have sex on weekends again . . .

Onehappygirl, that's just awful. Really, that's my point about (some) of these topics.

Ummm, at 9 years old I was only 6 mths. away from having my first period. (yeah)

Not to be "odd" here but I would be creeped out looking back and visualizing my dad/ mom/ sd/ sm, whatever sitting there and "reading" me a book while I was naked and trying to wash my privy.

Why can't reading happen at another time? Like when everybody was wearing a little something even?

I "read" plenty to my bs before he began to read on his own at age 4. After that, we had "study" sessions together at various places to increase his comprehension/ verbage skills. Mind you, I never read to him while he was bathing at age 9 though. We stuck to the norms such as the kitchen table, the study room, the back patio. Even outdoors...

It's sad to see some of these parents avoid teaching their own kids basic life skills due to pur laziness.

Things like, pull-ups, cribs, velcro shoes....

P.S: " I " was an only child too...

WTF...Pull-ups? That is just plain absurd.

The question is if this was your bio child would you be uncomfortable? She's only 5 years old not 15 so I don't think it's weird at all if it keeps happening even when she's older then yes I would think it is weird

I totally agree. Young women should grow up to be strong, independent women who can make it on their own if they need to. Teaching our girls to be so dependant so that they can't even entertain themselves is going to make them grow up to be weak women who latch on to anyone because they can't be independent or teenagers that are so bored that they turn to sex and drugs to entertain themselves. If things don't change in our home...this will be our life in a few years. My bf's daughter has to be entertained 24-7. She complains every few minutes or so that she is bored and wants to constantly go somewhere. When someone is so overly indulged, I truly believe that they can not be made happy.