Situation is: I live with my boyfriend (2 years), he has two children: girl=12, boy=14. He has 50% custody (weekly schedule).

Recently, his son attacked him because he would not let him visit his girlfriend. Because he said no, the son fist punched him in the face, chest & gut. He also kicked him and shoved him down the stairs. He left bruises. It was very hard for my boyfriend to deal with this. Going through the emotions that is son is capable of this, as well as, how to handle it in the long-run. The decision was made the son would live with the exwife (same city) until the son had some counseling and my boyfriend felt ready (and safe) to have him return. The counselor recommended this approach.

The son has had one session (the attack occurred over Christmas) thus far. The exwife is making it nearly impossible for my boyfriend to see hope in this situation. He allows her son to do whatever he wants at her house. She breaks rules that she & dad has set forth. She verbally attacks him via text message, email and on the phone (stating he is a horrible dad, how could he not want to be w/his son, why won't he give her more money, if their son hurts himself...the blood is on his hands, etc). Not once has she stopped and even apologized that their son violently attacked him. From all accounts, she fills her son with negative thoughts of his father and blames him 100% for the son attacking him stating "He's only 14, why is everyone blaming the 14 year old". Only 3 weeks prior to this incident, she admitted she thought her son was capable of hurting someone (which she now denies saying). The therapist has said the father should not have contact with the child until the child shows remorse and shows progress (which he hasn't, he is almost emotionless). However, the exwife only makes the dad (my boyfriend) feel horrible. Called him today stating 'You are no longer the parent. You have no rights.'. She demoralizes him, verbally harasses him, does things to spite him, is plain evil (and I think mental). She has also verbally attacked me stating I am not a mother & never will be, how dare I would support the dad, etc. The woman is awful. BTW, their divorce happened because she cheated on the father while he was recovering from an injury. So I don't think she is doing this to spite the dad for something he did to cause the divorce.

I have no clue how to help my boyfriend through this. He has ZERO money for attorneys. He feels his kids are slipping away, especially the son who attacked him. He mentally and physically breaks down into tears every day as he feels helpless.

Are there any ideas for him? We are on the brink of breaking up ourselves as this is causing so much stress on me as well. I feel like I am living in a toxic environment.

Thank you
G.A.