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jealousy

joz's picture

Submitted by joz on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 12:03pm

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Blended Family Issues

I am ashamed to say that I m jealous of partners disabled daughter-she is a big 12 yr old and is dependant on us for everything conseqently when she is with us for half the week we are both exhausted .but I am so jealous of her and my partners relationship-every time he kisses and cuddles her whenever she s here and he baths her and puts her to bed even when he s talking about her or to her i feel terrible . this is the first time i ve told anyone how i feel but it may just break us up . we have 8 children between us and we both share the kids care with our x partners.When its just the 2 of us we get on so well but as soon as the kids come it seems to fall apart.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 12:42pm

Ouch...I don't even know what to say to this one. The child is handicapped, her daddy is giving her love and affection like only he can and you are jealous of it.
I hope you can get over it soon because he will definitely leave you if he feels that energy coming from you.
Might be easier said than done. I used to get a twinge of envy every time SD9 sat on my DH's lap. But I'm over it. The love he has for her is not the same as the love he has for me and after I realized that, our relationship became much stronger. Good luck.

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 12:50pm

I understand the feeling of jealousy, I really do. But I think this level of jealousy may be something more. Is he affectionate with you? Maybe you resent the fact that he shows affection towards her and not you?

Just saying, perhaps that is a possibility.

Angel72's picture

Submitted by Angel72 on Fri, 01/08/2010 - 5:36am

I honestly feel your emotions are really coming from the fact that there are 8 kids. You stated your exhausted. You stated you gusy are great alone but as soon as the kids come , it falls apart. That is stress from having to give to sooooo many at the same time. ANd being stressed and exhausted you look to your partner for support and find him coddling his daughter who truly needs it just like any child but i'm sure he does it more with her cause of her condition. Its normal to then feel you are jealous. your jealous because you are stressed and look to your partner for comfort only to find that he is not giving it to you but to someone else.
i think you have to sit down and look at yourself. Try to find ways to cope when you guys do have the 8 kids. Its a big responsibility. Its a huge drain! I'm sure your ex's go through alot of stress too... When the kids are their, dont expect comfort from your partner until the end of the night. Make time after the kids go to bed to sit on the couch and coddle each other and talk about the day or watch a movie. HAve this alone time. Its important. Or else you will feel like your drowing from time to time andit will wear you down.