I need advice please!!!? Pregnant now at 36!? One ss5 and son who will be 19!?
I know, I know....
I JUST found out that I am two months preggo...After only having one bio-son, who will be 19...(yeah) I married for the second time this year to a man w/ a 5 yr. old son...
Now, after using protection, I am now pregnant, again!?
Help?! Soooo, I will have a bio-son of 19, one ss5, and one-to-be, (who will be related to both mentioned above.)
Wow! What a "blended" family this will be!
I need advice here, please???
The BM of ss5 is a nut, and continues to drown us in her debts that she agreed to pay off, (right.)
I have a MIL that is pushy, and just loves to "try" to whisper behind my back about my dh's EX, the bm of ss5...???? ( Like I am at a loss of hearing or something.)
So, in a nutshell, this baby-to-be is coming in to a pretty insane and stressful lifestyle, thanks to dh, the mil from hell, a bm that is a pain in the arse, a dh that "dwells" on his debts from his ex instead of possibly being happy about the new life to come...???
Anybody else out there in the same boat?!
Not to mention I am a bit scared of just "being" pregnant, even though I have one son already...he is now going on nineteen...(yeah, yeah, yeah..lol)
I love honesty!!!
Marriedwithchild-(AGAIN)
***I also would love to hear
***I also would love to hear from other "new" moms too***
Ugh...Why do I feel sicker in the mornings this time around? I can barely sit in a chair here at work because of lower back pain?!
I just want to say I wish
I just want to say I wish you happiness and health with your pregnancy. I am waiting to see what the responses will be as well. As my DH (He is 35 - I am 33) wants to have another child in the next two years..... BUT my BD is 14 and his BD is 6.... BM is a crazy nut who went bonkers when we got married.... even after they split before his daughter was born.
I am interested in seeing the responses of others who may have been in this situation.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
Thank you-imagr8tma!!! I am
Thank you-imagr8tma!!!
I am sure the BM is going to become even more of a pain after she finds out that I am now pregnant...
Have both of you been trying to concieve?
Don't tell her! None of her
Don't tell her! None of her business. Wait for her to figure it out on her own LOL
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Hey there, It's kinda sad
Hey there,
It's kinda sad that something so beautiful as bringing a child into this world has to cause us stepmoms so much anxiety.
In terms of general advice, here goes:
1. Prepare for crazy BM to behave crazier - stressing out you and DH for more money etc and even alienating SS more
2. Your DH is already stressing about finances, prepare for him to be even MORE stressed now about providing for you and baby
3. With the hormones raging, prepare to be sad, angry etc over many small things... and maybe warn your DH about what you will need from him - extra hugs, extra reassurance etc. - warn him to not take it all too personally
4. Above all else, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND BABY
I'm due soon. DH got a pay cut recently and we're struggling financially. BM picked this time to come after him for more $$. I was so stressed I threw up everyday for almost 5 months and it got to the point where when I got anxious and worried about anything in this daunting stepfamily situation, I threw up, and I have struggled to put on weight. I cried so much and fought with DH so much during this pregnancy. I got depressed to the point where I could barely take care of myself. And this was something we planned! It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life! Now I'm back to my old self a bit, taking care of me first, and just hoping and praying that all the stress and depression etc has not affected my baby.
Hope I haven't painted too gloomy a picture... pregnancy is wonderful, this is my first, you have one already so you know what it's like to see those ultrasound pics and feel the fluttering and kicks inside you, and sing to your belly and know someone special before they even enter this world. Congrats on your pregnancy!
*C-Can* Congrats are in
*C-Can* Congrats are in order to you also!
When are you due? How have you managed to make it through all of the stress during your pregnancy?
Is it true that they do not "count" a new baby in regards to C/S reduction/increase? If yes, that is insane...How can a new baby not be an added expense to the dad???
The BM at topic here is/ was supposed to have the mortgage changed over in her name alone, and her new car.(right.)
She defaulted on the Yaris in dh's name and is two months behind on the mortgage, that has to this date been left in her and dh's name with no attempt on her part to have it changed.(I knew it.)
DH tried to take her back to court about the car agreement, which went nowhere. He was advised to take it to civil court. (The letters are showing up daily almost for collections...)
-You are so right, it is wrong for a new life to pay for living in the "dust" of BM...
MIL already had the nerve to come out and say, "I'll never help you again." After she found out I was pregnant.I feel as if she could care less if I kept the baby or not...(which hurts.)
-I feel like I am living in the shadow of his ex. She has the house, a free car, baby shower...etc.
-Me? Not a thing. It is not fair to me or this baby.
-LOL, Yes, I am "more" emo lately...
*I am preparing my very own Zen garden outside for me to go to, when all the stress comes in through the door, new baby will not pay for others mistakes, agreed?
Hey there, Sorry, been a bit
Hey there,
Sorry, been a bit busy. How have I managed?? lol... Badly... DH and I made so many mistakes... I wish there was a rule book for this!!
I took on the stress, because I saw it as fighting for my husband, my marriage and my new baby-to-be. To some extent the fight has been worth it because changes have come about... but my health has definitely suffered.
Nope, new baby does not reduce C/S, at least not where I am.
At least, my MIL is not so bad... and while the finances aren't fair at all for me right now... I have hope of things getting better eventually. We have to think long term right?
Hope your pregnancy is going well, and that Zen garden is working for you. It is REALLY REALLY important to find a healthy way to deal with the stress... I have learned this the hard way...
Hi, I had a very similar
Hi, I had a very similar situation. One child who was 17 with no plans for anymore and then poof, got preganant at 36. I am very happy I had her. It ended my marriage but it was headed there anyway, just waiing for my son to get out of highschool. Very strange because we had never used protection the whole 17 years and then I'm pregnant! I got pregnant again two years ago with mmy now husband and terminated it due to medical reasons but I probably would have done it anyway once I had a chance to see what life was like with a blended family. I am 42 and really didn't want to start again. I honestly can say the second time around it has been alot more fun. I enjoy it much more now than I did the first time but sometimes I think, Wow, I have 15 more years of this. (she is 5 now) So I have been on both sides of the fence and while I have regrets at terminating the last pregnancy I know it was the right thing to do. I don't think I could have handled it. Whatever you do just be prepared mentally, to deal with it alone, that way no matter what happens you will be ready. Good luck and I wish you the best with whatever you do.
My 2nd pregnancy and baby
My 2nd pregnancy and baby have been easier. Not as stressful because I knew what to expect. I know its been a while for you, and lots has changed. They have so many more baby items that help these days! Just try to focus on you and your family. The outsiders don't need all your attention, you growing baby does! Try to get excited! CONGRATS!
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Congratulations and enjoy
Congratulations and enjoy this baby regardless of the situation. Life is too precious.
My husband (39) and I (38) have a 4-month old son together, a SS16 from his 1st marriage (who also has an older 1/2 brother from another father). They took me off of birth control 5 years ago and told me I would never get pregnant. Getting pregnant freaked me out, especially when DH said it wasn't fair to SS (age gap, he might think baby replacing, etc.). That was DH's biggest concern?? WOW, says it all.
I also have a pushy MIL who after 3 years still calls me by the Ex wifes' name, but only at holidays. And yes, the BM who never really interfered in our lives until SS told her I was pregnant, and now becomes psychotic at least once a week with guilt for my DH. So, trying to enjoy new baby and eachother - we have BM, SS, and MIL all allowed to maniupalte our world.
I'm not going to lie - it hasn't been easy. Pregnancy at this age was difficult in itself, but it happened for a reason. Just like it's happened for you. Sitting here looking at the baby today - I'd do it all over again.
With all of the circumstances around our life, and my DH inability to get his priorities straight, everyday brings a lot of challenges. I'd still do it all over again. I wish you the best during the pregnancy and after the baby is born - it is a blessing - no matter what circumstance or your age. You will enjoy him/her all the same.