im new to the blended family thing and have alot of problems with our kids, i love my DH more than anything but reading all the posts im starting to wonder 'IS IT WORTH ALL THE CRAP',
You love your husband...have you tried counselling? going out for a coffee just you and him having a heart to heart? DOn't go by everything we say...there are alot of people out there who have wonderful blended families. It's not over until the fat lady sings..and I don't hear her singing for you yet. Give it a good fighting chance...your DH and you deserve it. Remember, you and your DH are a team, not enimies.
Purpleflower
I am asking myself the same question. I am already in it and am not sure I can do this or want to do it. I was married and have kids and I think a blended family is a hundred times more difficult than a blended family.
I have had those moments... A lot of them! I care deeply for my BF AND his kids. Right now, I am going through a phase of, "I am so glad I am here for myself, my kids, my BF AND my SKIDS!"
Counseling has helped A LOT! I am lucky that my skids love me!
I would say it is more difficult with a blended family, but sometimes it is also more satisfying.
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm
I am in the same place 4 counselors and one even told my DH to go home if he wasn't willing to do the work.You can't save this if you are not a team. Then she told me that it may not be possible to stay in this situation and remain healthy. So it is for you to decide to stay or go but I can say 100% I wouldn't do it again if I could go back in time! Good Luck!
And counseling is in order if you are feeling this dispondant. For you, individually, or for you and your DH together. You need to try everything possible before deciding to call it quits.
There are peaks and valleys to every relationship. There have been several times when I thought, "This is SOOOO over. We just can't make this work."
But with therapy and a lot of communication, I can now see a lifetime with my DH.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
I second that! When someone is able to love a child that isn't theirs as their own, that's wonderful. That doesn't happen in every situation though. You are dealing with personalities that may clash. You did not help shape the child's personality, and they may have been raised in a way you do not agree with. The child may resent you. The child may have a negative effect on your marriage. So many things factor in to why a person may not automatically, or ever love a child.
I'm not sure what specific issues you are dealing with, but if you are going to continue in this situation, you and your SO need to have realistic expectations. This often doesn't happen, which is why you are reading about so many negative experiences here.
I third that!!!!! There is no way you can love a kid because you love the dad or mom. I think that we all hoped that we could love the skid as our own and they would love us back, but it usually turns out bad because of all the variables that come with the step relationship.
You love your husband...have
You love your husband...have you tried counselling? going out for a coffee just you and him having a heart to heart? DOn't go by everything we say...there are alot of people out there who have wonderful blended families. It's not over until the fat lady sings..and I don't hear her singing for you yet. Give it a good fighting chance...your DH and you deserve it. Remember, you and your DH are a team, not enimies.
Purpleflower
I am asking myself the same
I am asking myself the same question. I am already in it and am not sure I can do this or want to do it. I was married and have kids and I think a blended family is a hundred times more difficult than a blended family.
I have had those moments...
I have had those moments... A lot of them! I care deeply for my BF AND his kids. Right now, I am going through a phase of, "I am so glad I am here for myself, my kids, my BF AND my SKIDS!"
Counseling has helped A LOT! I am lucky that my skids love me!
I would say it is more difficult with a blended family, but sometimes it is also more satisfying.
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm
I am in the same place 4
I am in the same place 4 counselors and one even told my DH to go home if he wasn't willing to do the work.You can't save this if you are not a team. Then she told me that it may not be possible to stay in this situation and remain healthy. So it is for you to decide to stay or go but I can say 100% I wouldn't do it again if I could go back in time! Good Luck!
If you love him, you will
If you love him, you will love them. Children can tell if you care for them
ABSOLUTELY AGREE! And
ABSOLUTELY AGREE!
And counseling is in order if you are feeling this dispondant. For you, individually, or for you and your DH together. You need to try everything possible before deciding to call it quits.
There are peaks and valleys to every relationship. There have been several times when I thought, "This is SOOOO over. We just can't make this work."
But with therapy and a lot of communication, I can now see a lifetime with my DH.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
I second that! When someone
I second that! When someone is able to love a child that isn't theirs as their own, that's wonderful. That doesn't happen in every situation though. You are dealing with personalities that may clash. You did not help shape the child's personality, and they may have been raised in a way you do not agree with. The child may resent you. The child may have a negative effect on your marriage. So many things factor in to why a person may not automatically, or ever love a child.
I'm not sure what specific issues you are dealing with, but if you are going to continue in this situation, you and your SO need to have realistic expectations. This often doesn't happen, which is why you are reading about so many negative experiences here.
I third that!!!!! There
I third that!!!!!
There is no way you can love a kid because you love the dad or mom. I think that we all hoped that we could love the skid as our own and they would love us back, but it usually turns out bad because of all the variables that come with the step relationship.