I have a lot of grown stepchildren. You can't change them once they hit a certain age. I married a couple years ago and have all different personality types to deal with. The oldest SD didn't want me married to her dad from the get go. She was basically told that she had to accept me by her father but it's not like we're good friends. There is tension between the two of us because she said until I came along, she was able to spend more time with her dad and he needed her more. She is a materialistic type and sometimes I think she looks down on us because we live modestly where she married into money. I've told my husband from the get go I don't think this SD wants me around. Next weekend he's going to drive 3-4 hours to visit her alone. My son and I weren't invited to go. My husband swears his daughter didn't set up the weekend that way intentionally but I don't buy it. Hubby made the comment I'm welcome to see her "in the spring" when we can all go and I was thinking to myself "what's the point". She bitches no one has come to see her baby born in August, I'm willing, she has a free weekend in her "busy" schedule, then I don't get to go? Hmm...I'm learning I can't force a relationship that's just not there. She calls my husband's second ex-wife her "stepmother" but I'm simply "Dad's wife". I'd say trust your gut feeling. I feel like I've been toyed with for two years. The oldest SD is such a piece of work she refers to her other sibings as half brother and half sister..not simply brother and sister. Talk about ego.

Me (41). DH (53). Married since May 2007. DS (9) from my 1st marriage where that husband is deceased. I have 6 grown stepchildren who do not live with us: SD (32), SS (29), SS (29), SD (26), SD (22) and SS (18). DH has been married twice before me.